Disclaimer: Don't own characters or show, not making any money, storyline is mine.
Added Disclaimer: Any resemblance to any real persons is probably intentional. Nobody you know though. :-)
Spoilers: None.
Season: probably 1 or 2.
Malcolm lay with his eyes closed. He listened to the sounds around him. Two lots of steady breathing, the crackling of the fire and the occasional hoot in the night of some native animal. It was peaceful. He was surprised to admit it to himself; he hadn't wanted to go on this camping trip, but the Commander was rather insistent that he come. He was certain that Malcolm would have fun. Malcolm wasn't so sure about that, but he had found it relaxing. When he wasn't worrying about something going wrong.
He'd been drifting off to sleep, but a change in noises brought his brain back to wakefulness. Just the Commander shifting in his sleep, he couldn't seem to stay in the one spot for more than five minutes. Malcolm looked up at the sky. It was a crystal clear night, the Milky Way – a different version to what he'd see on Earth – a bright band across the sky.
"Mom, I want to go to sleep."
Malcolm jumped. The words were muttered in a whiny Southern accent and were followed by more shifting. He looked over towards the Commander, who had turned to face in Malcolm's direction. Malcolm jumped again when a peal of laughter came from the Commander, followed by, "Good one."
He heard a muffled laugh from the Captain's direction, and struggled to contain his own laughter. He'd have to keep this in reserve for the next time the Commander particularly annoyed him.
"Trip," the Captain called after he stopped laughing. "Trip!"
"Captain?" The reply was sleepy.
"You were talking."
"Sorry." The Commander's eyes drifted shut again and he seemed to settle quickly into a still sleep.
Malcolm breathed a sigh of relief. He might finally be able to get some sleep if the Commander stopped tossing and turning. He felt himself drifting off to sleep when a very misaligned warp core started up. He opened his eyes, and looked at the Commander. He was still deeply asleep. He looked over to the Captain, and found his answer. The Captain snored. Loudly. Malcolm debated whether shooting the Captain because he was interrupting his armory officer's sleep would be an acceptable excuse at a court martial. They might sympathise, but probably not.
And insult added to injury, the Commander started talking again. If Malcolm didn't get some sleep soon, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions. If he could just get far enough away from the two men so that he couldn't hear them…But no, he couldn't just move, if they woke up they'd be worried about him.
Malcolm abruptly started coughing. He covered his mouth to partially muffle the sounds, but it was still loud in the night, even over the top of the Captain's snoring. The coughing fit lasted for several minutes, waking the other two men.
"Malcolm, you okay?" the Captain asked.
"I'm fine, Sir," Malcolm said after taking a deep breath. "Just an allergy I think."
He started coughing again.
"That really doesn't sound good," the Commander said with concern.
"It'll take a little while for it to settle down," Malcolm wheezed. "I'm going to move away a bit so that you can both get back to sleep."
He stood and picked up his sleeping bag.
"You don't have to, Malcolm."
"It's fine, Captain. I don't mind. Good night." Malcolm moved away quickly before the Captain could think about it and order him to stay. He found a clear area within visual distance of the camp, but out of normal hearing distance. He settled down on the ground, coughing slightly to clear his throat, and closed his eyes.
It was much better. No noise. Just the background sound of the wind…
Chirp.
Malcolm ignored the sound.
Chirp.
It was louder. The local equivalent of the cricket, somewhere off to his right. And moving closer.
Chirp.
The little bugger was starting to become annoying. Malcolm sighed, sat up, and pulled out the tricorder he'd automatically brought with him. There was one local life sign, four metres away from him. He picked up his phase pistol and fired in the direction indicated.
He waited several seconds. There was blessed silence. He lay back down, and got himself comfortable again. His sleep deprived mind imagined a cricket with its front legs up surrendering.
Chirp.
"Oh, for…" It wasn't the same one, this one was coming from the left.
Chirp.
Another one, behind him.
Chirp.
To the right.
Chirp.
Beyond his feet.
The first cricket had brought in reinforcements, they had him surrounded. He couldn't shoot them all. There was only one thing he could do.
Malcolm was relieved to find that all was quiet as he lay back down at the campsite. Commander Tucker wasn't talking, and the Captain wasn't snoring. If only it would stay that way, he might be able to get four hours sleep.
He could function on four hours sleep.
"I don't want pancakes. I want ice cream."
