Inadequacy
Why have you done this to yourself?
You're lying there with a hole in your heart and a hole in your soul, when you should be running about like you haven't a care in the world.
You lying here is all my fault, because I wasn't smart enough to figure out Aizen's plot, wasn't fast enough to find you before Aizen, wasn't strong enough to stop Aizen.
Not enough.
I'm never enough around Aizen, never measuring up to the (strong. Brave. Handsome. Kind. Polite. Gentle. God-like.) perfect Aizen, your ideal of everything people should be- everything I wanted to be, because I wanted to be everything you wanted, so you would want me. Me, not whiny little Shirou-chan, not 'ice-block' Hitsugaya-Taichou, just Hitsugaya Toushirou, someone who wants to be with you more than anything in the world.
I have power, I have brains, I even have influence now, and still I can't achieve what I've wanted to do since I met you, weak and fragile and shining with goodness in the slums of Rukongai, still I can't make sure that no one will ever hurt you again, bedwetter, that's my job, can't keep your broken little body free of pain and your broken little heart from shattering.
Not strong enough. Not smart enough. Not anything enough, not even a friend, not if the questionable words of a dead man (you didn't even believe them yourself) could make you draw on me.
If you'll wake up, I'll do anything. I'll be anything.
I'll be enough. Enough to save you, enough to make you happy.
Enough for you, and no one else.
-end-
