Chapter seven: The Moanings of an Overgrown Dungeon Dweller
Quidditch match
Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. Weak vs. Strong. Ugly vs. Beautiful. We shall triumph. We'll see which is better, Harry Potter with his great big head or Malfoy with wealth, fame and two henchmen. I know who I'm putting my money on. I'll give you two guesses. Malfoy.
I don't bleeding well believe thisIt would take a very large and angry hurricane to stop that boy beating me! He was floating around, raining pelting down, a Bludger broke his arm and he STILL managed to catch the snitch. If you are wondering whom I am talking about its Potter, Malfoy is so pathetic that he wouldn't be able to catch a hippo waddling away from him. There is a good point to this story though- Lockhart took it upon himself to cure Potter, and… wait for it, you are going to pee yourself with laughter... he dissolved all the bones in Potter's arm! He has to drink Skele-Gro as well, which everyone knows is disgusting stuff. It's something else I can mention to Lockhart, his amazing ability with a wand. I should thank him really, its taken him around three months what I have failed to do in two years- cause Potter actually bodily harm. Pity it isn't permanent.
Colin Creevey has been, well, I'm not too sure reallyThey found him last night, he isn't dead, he just isn't talking or moving or eating or doing anything that live people do. First Mrs Norris, now him. Malfoy is making bets on who is going next and I have so far failed to catch him actually taking bets, apart from off me of course but I'm not going to give him detention for that. McGonagall told us in the staff room this morning and you should have seen the look on Lockhart's face. He looked smugger than I usually do.
"I'm sure there is nothing in it. Just someone playing pranks." I looked over at him coolly.
"Like you dissolving all Potter's bones you mean?" That wiped that smug grin off his face.
"That was an accident caused by the weather conditions I was working in Severus and I'm sure that Harry understands." I would have snorted but it is so ungraceful that I just raised an eyebrow.
"I'll go and tell him it was an accident, shall I? After he has drunk half a bottle of Skele-Gro and re-grown thirty-three bones." McGonagall coughed to get our attention and she actually nodded slightly at me! I think that was a small attempt at a thank you because I am the only one who can have a go at Lockhart while making any sense and not sound like an enraged schoolgirl.
McGonagall has taken the list of those staying over the Christmas holidays and the usual squirts are staying but Malfoy is which I think is very weird. Christmas is the holidays which means that I should get time AWAY from the little brats, I do not want to step outside my door in a morning and find Hogwarts as full as before the holidays started! Do they not have homes to go to? I know I can't talk but at least if I stay here I get a proper Christmas meal, not half a tin of cold beans because I can't be bothered making anything.
WHY DO THEY CONTINUE TO TORTURE ME!Why can't I have one Potions lesson, just one, where Potter doesn't attack Malfoy, argue with me or argue with Malfoy and just get on with his work and do it right for once?
He managed to explode Goyle's swelling solution, which splashed quite a few people and worked which I am amazed at. Goyle can't make a cup of tea without burning something down.
I knew it was you Potter, and I am going to get you and make you pay. I got the remains of a firework and directed everything I spoke to Potter.
"If I ever find out who threw this, I shall make sure that person is expelled." Low whispery voice, slight sneer, dangerous look in eyes, glare at Potter, turn on heel, imagine all the horrible things I could do to potter if he wasn't a student. Disembowelment.
I don't know what they are planning but I will find outThey have stolen ingredients from my personal supply of ingredients. Very rare Bicorn Horn and Boomslang Skin, which are only used in few potions and they are very dangerous potions as well. Now I have two options. I can go to the headmaster and tell them that students have been stealing rare and powerful ingredients from my private stores to which he will answer with something like,
"Ahhh yes Severus, PERHAPS students should EXPERIMENT more with powerful POTIONS. I suggest YOU should start a POTION'S club. Every THURSDAY night. What do YOU think Minerva?" And she will answer with a really annoyingly smug grin:
"Yes headmaster, I think it will be a brilliant idea."
Or option two is to leave Potter to his own devices and wait for him to blow himself and his two chums into a million pieces.
He has started a duelling clubYou can probably guess who, no one else would actually (a) volunteer to start a club or (b) start a club proclaiming their own greatness which incidentally does not exist. And he has asked me to help him run it, I think he asked every teacher in the staff room to help him before me but was greeted with answers ranging from "I can't I am washing my hair," to a simple yet effective "no." I said yes because it will give me the perfect excuse to kill him and say it was an accident.
First duelling clubHe was wearing 'plum' robes. Why anyone would want to wear a plum I don't know but Lockhart was. And apparently he gets them made for him and they are the only ones in existence. Does that make the wearer of such robes an endangered animal? I wonder. He started off by introducing me as 'his assistant' and that I know a 'tiny bit about duelling'. I was a Death Eating for crying out loud; I've been in more duels than Lockhart has changed his robes. Actually, scratch that, he would probably change his robes in his sleep if he could.
Then he said (and this is what really annoyed me) "Now, I don't want any of you youngsters to worry- you'll still have your Potions master when I'm through with him, never fear!"
Okay, first of all they couldn't give a damn about me and I spotted at least four pupils making bets on who would finish who off first. Secondly, I could fight Lockhart with my arms, hands and legs tied together with no wand and still win. Thirdly who actually says 'never fear'?
I did a simple disarming spell and Lockhart has obviously never duelled before because all he had to do was create a shield but he just stood there and ended up flying backwards and smacking into a wall. Most of the Slytherins were cheering and I would have taken a bow but I don't want to get too big headed. He won't be asking me to duel again any time soon. Then he had the cheek to say that it was obvious what I was going to do but it was 'constructive to let them see the effects'. Constructive my arse. I just glared at him and sneered and did every other evil look I could remember. I think he noticed because he said, "Enough demonstrating!" We had to put everyone in pairs so I headed straight for Potter and paired him with Malfoy, Granger with Bulstrode and Weasley with Finnigan. It was chaos. Pure, utter, lovely, gorgeous chaos.
Also found out something very interesting about Potter, he can talk to snakes- Parseltongue. I don't think he understands what he can actually do but I knew the minute he opened his gob. And everyone hates him for it! HahaHA hahaha!
Potter has been killing off peopleApparently. I don't believe it, seen as he is friends with Granger, but the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws are scared out of their wits about it. Justin Finch- Fletchley and Nearly- Headless Nick the ghost have been attacked and they are all blaming Potter. Peeves was singing quite an amusing song when Potter got marched off:
'Oh Potter, you rotter, oh what have you done
You're killing off students and you think it's good fun.'
I will bet any one of you that he doesn't get expelled or even detention for this, Dumbledore will probably say something that sounds very wise but is just a load of rubbish and McGonagall will stand near the door and just snap 'Come on Potter' when Dumbledore has congratulated him for being like his father or something equally pointless.
They are all going home!There has been a mad rush to book places to go back home at Christmas! I'm so happy, well as happy as is possible when you live in a dungeon. The Weasley twins are going round telling people to get out of the way of the 'Heir of Slytherin' because apparently Potter is a 'really powerful wizard.' If he is the Heir of Slytherin then I'm transferring to Ravenclaw.
