Time: Mid-Season 7 of Buffy (pretty accurate) and Mid-Season 4 of Angel (accurate to Season 2, Overview for Season 3 and 4).
Relationships: Angel/Lily Love (a new character), Fred/Wesley, Buffy/Spike, Buffy/Riley, Faith/Spike, Willow/Kennedy, Willow/Tara, Giles/Jenny Calendar, Xander/Anya
Need to know Info: not all of the watchers were killed, Cordy is somewhere between good and evil, also with her visions.
Distribution: No
Rating: R, violence and sexual relationships
Story:
Chapter 3 (The After Effects)
The Hotel: "Angel are you sure that you can handle this alone. I mean she was the most powerful being on the planet. She had, has, a lot of anger towards everyone. When she gets back her memories, she might still go on a killing spree. She is dangerous." Buffy warns.
"Buffy, look at her, she is barely old enough to be dangerous. I told you she thinks she is three. She is no threat. Even when she does get her memories back, she is going to need lots of help, help only I can give. You didn't see what I did; that bitch, Miss Swan, abused her. She punished her for no good reason. She is in pain and doesn't know how to express it properly. I have to teach her. I have to help her. I don't know why, but I have this feeling that I know her, or met her before. I just feel close to her. There is just something about her that is . . . I don't know." Angel articulates.
"It almost sounds like you like her, I mean really like her." Buffy states.
"Buffy, be serious. I barely know her."
"Buffy is right, not about the 'liking' part, but that fact that she was the Daywalker and was going to kill everyone. She could still be potential dangerous." Wesley expresses.
"I don't care what you all say; she stays. She is helpless; we help the helpless. (Cordy begins to talk.) I DON'T CARE; SHE STAYS. She needs me." Angel orders.
"Angel, if I am so much trouble, I will leave. I don't want you to lose your friends. I lost mine; I know what is like." Lily verbalizes.
"No, we don't want you leave, do you guys?" Fred inquires. They shake their heads.
"Ok," Lily replies in her small voice. Angel and the gang get Lily settled in one of the rooms in the Hotel. Buffy and her group decide to stay until Lily has been fixed; their reasoning is to protect Angel, his company, and the world.
A week goes by and no word about or from the First Good. Angel begins to wonder if the First even cares because Lily hasn't improved, in fact she seems to be getting worse. She has not been coming down for her room as often, and when Angel goes to check on her, she is curled up in a ball on the floor. Furthermore Angel has just come from her room and she isn't willing to come down.
"I am really worried. She refused to come down; she usually comes when I ask. Willow, do you think you can repeat the spell or something similar?" Angel requests.
"I don't know, Angel. The First has a great deal of magic and power, more than I could ever achieve. There might be a different spell I could try, but I could end up killing us all and it might not help at all." Willow replies.
"Keep searching. I don't what want to put either of you in danger." Angel responds.
A voice whispers, "Angel," but no one hears it.
Wesley looks up and screams, "ANGEL!"
"What!"
"Look!" He points up to the stairs; there stands Lily in her bloody nightgown. She has silted her arms, not her wrists; she has lost a lot of blood. Angel runs up the stairs, scoops her up, and brings her down to the couch in the lobby.
"Get some bandage. And call 911." He commands. He turns to Lily and asks, "How did you do this? Why?"
"Evil in blood. Had to get rid of the evil. I . . . I cut it out. Did I get it all?" She babbles. A chef's knife drops out of one of her pockets; it is covered in blood.
An angry Angel yells, "FIRST. FIRST, GET YOUR ASTRAL ASS DOWN HERE NOW!"
"What! I have not completely healed yet." It answers.
"Look at her. Look at what she has done to herself. She said she had to get the evil out of her, so she cut herself. If we don't get her to a hospital soon, she is going to die. She has the past few days going out her mind; I didn't realize how bad it was until this happened. So as soon as she gets out of the hospital, you ARE going to fix her." Angel orders.
"I will fix the wounds now. Send a Whitelighter now." The First instructs.
"You called," the Whitelighter answers.
"Healed her." The Firsts commands while pointing at Lily.
"Yes, ma'am," the Whitelighter responds. He starts to heal the wounds on Lily's arms; it only takes a few seconds. After he is done, he vanishes into thin air, just as he appeared. After Lily is healed, Giles cancels the ambulance. Lily is still rambling about the evil in her blood; the First reasons, "I believe I should sedate her. Then I will perform the ritual to heal her mind."
"Can you do that? The ritual without her being awake." Angel doubts.
"Yes, I only need you awake to complete the ritual." The First replies. The First says a few words in an ancient language; Lily peacefully falls to sleep. "Place her in front of you on the floor; I will make her sit straight. Good, Good." It begins the ritual and lifts Lily and Angel above her head again.
Once again, Angel blinks and he is back in the hallway with the doors. This time he went to the door labeled 'Age 10'; he opens the door and walks into a small room with bars on the windows. He sees a young girl pacing back and forth in the room; she is staring at the door that he just opened. A tray slides through the flap at the bottom of the door. The child picks up the tray and searches through it; she finds nothing of interest. She tosses the tray at the door; she is hungry, but not for food that they are serving her. Angel recognizes the signs; she is thirsting for blood, any blood. She can't control it; a housecat enters through the flap. The girl sees her target and attacks; she drains the cat of all its blood and then drops the corpse on the floor.
The door slams open; Miss Swan is standing in the door. She orders the punishers to grab Lily and take her to the basement. Down in the basement, Lily is once again chained to the wall, but this time her back is towards the wall. There is now a large cage in there also; the cage contains a fierce animal that has not been feed for days. Miss Swan gives the order to release the lion; she and the punishers leave the room as the lion approaches its prey. The lion rips Lily's legs to shreds; Lily is high enough that the lion could only reach her legs. Her every scream echoes in the basement and in Angel's soul; tears are running down his face. He has never seen a person suffer so much, and still hang around for more; he guesses that she is to frighten to leave. He ponders, 'Maybe, she believes that this place the closest things she has to a real home.'
After she is healed enough to walk, he unchains her and helps her to the door and puts her into the opposite door. He heads to the door 'Age 13'; he begins to the door, and then stops. He drops to the floor and thinks 'I don't know if I can see any more. I feel for her; I understand why she hated humans and demons.'
He breathes an unneeded breath and opens the door. He sees her in the common room alone, but staring at the door, like she is waiting for someone to enter. Someone does; Quentin Travers and a group of Watchers. Quentin speaks, "You know why we have come, right? (She nods her head.) You understand that we can't have you as a slayer; we need a non-evil slayer. One that will do good; one that is not you. Shoot her."
They kill her and leave; a few seconds later, Lily wakes up and brushes off the bullets. She states, "I have seen the new slayer and her future; she is not going to be much better than me. I hope she causes you much grief."
Angel approaches her; she holds out her hand for him to lead her to where ever he wants. He does the same as the last two. 'Just two more doors; that last one wasn't so bad.' He proceeds to the door 'Age 15'; opens the door. He is in a bathroom; Lily is in the tub; her fingernails on her index finger are elongated. She is looking at her wrist; she slowly silts both her wrist, and she makes sure that they go deep enough. A half-hour later, another child breaks through the door. They call 911; an ambulance comes and takes Lily to the hospital.
Angel hears the doctor say, "There are no hesitation marks. That means either she has been planning this for a long time or she is use to pain or both. Any way you see it; this girl needs serious help. If she had gone the other way, she would be DOA." The doctor walks off continuing his conversation with the nurse. Lily opens her eyes and lifts her hand towards Angel; he takes it and her to the opposite door of the hallway.
He continues on to the final door 'Age 16'; Lily is outside with celestial being floating in mid-air. Lily is conversing with the being; she then walks away. Angel follows; Lily heads back to the home. Once there she is approached by young man; she smiles and blushes. She skips up to her room; Angel enters to hear what she is saying.
"Diary, you will never guess what just happened. Ethan asked me, Lily, out on a date; yeah I know. I wanted him to ask me for the longest time. He is so cute and popular. He is smart and safe. I can't wait until tonight. Well, talk to later."
Angel watches as this Ethan courts Lily for a month; each day Lily becomes more and more attached to him. She definitely has strong feels for him; for both their one-month anniversary and her sixteenth birthday, Ethan had reservations for them at the fanciest restaurant in the town they currently live in. The dinner goes great; the desert is being served. Lily asks, "So what is the surprise?"
"This whole relationship has been a scam; only dated you because I bet I could for a whole month. My girlfriend thought it would be funny; she was right. And you are paying for this dinner."
Angel sees Lily's eye glaze over with hatred and angry; he witnesses her snapping. She jumps Ethan; she punches him until an off-duty cop pulls his weapon. He yells for her to stop or he will shoot; she doesn't. He shoots; the bullet hits her left shoulder. The wound brings Lily back in control; the look on her face makes Angel realizes that the demon in her took control of her body. Lily runs out of the restaurant; she runs until she reaches the woods. She calls out for the First; it appears once again it's usually form. Lily reads it mind; she sees that the celestial being had a vision of this happening on day that Ethan asked her out the first time. She also sees that the Powers-That-Be and the First knew this and chose not to tell her. She yells, "I don't want to see you any more. Just . . . just leave me alone. I don't want you to look like her anymore."
She runs to the spot that she saw the celestial being before; she calls for it. He immediately understands what has happened; Lily talks, "You could have stopped it all, but you didn't. You hurt me, and now I will hurt you."
Her index fingers grow; this time she cuts lengthwise cutting into all the major veins. She sits down, while this being watches her die. It takes only a few hours for her to die, but for anyone to find her that takes two days. When they find her, she is still warm, so they send her to the hospital. The moment the doctor declares her dead; she wakes up. The doctor fixes her wrists and then leaves. Once again she lifts her hand for Angel, and he again leads her out of the door.
This time Lily speaks, "This door will not open."
"Why?"
"Because there are no good memories from this point on. In six months, the demon in me will take complete control of me. Go ahead and try it."
"So you did really want humans and demons to die?"
"Yes, I did, but I never acted upon those feelings."
Angel tries the door; Lily was right; it is locked. Angel asks, "So how do we get out of here?"
"Close your eyes. Think of your hotel, of your friends. Alright." Lily leans up and kisses Angel on the lips.
Angel opens his eyes; he is back at the hotel on floor facing Lily. She is wake and standing; she reaches out her hand to help Angel up. He takes her hand; she whispers in his ear, "If you ever tell any one about what you saw, I swear I will stake you."
She steps away; Angel grabs her by the shoulders and speaks, "I hate to tell you, but you are going to have to talk about what happened to you, sooner or later. So don't threaten me."
She declares, "Look, boy, I have seen more in my short lifetime than you shall ever see in you eternal life. You have no right or privilege to tell me what I can and can't do."
Angel sets her down, smacks her faces, then grabs her again, and kisses her on the lips. At first Lily resists, but then her instincts take over; the kiss lasts for several minutes before Angel pulls her away. She smacks him and states, "If you ever, ever, do that again, I will kill you."
She starts to run to her room, when the First stops, literally stops her that is one of its powers. It freezes her, and then slides her back in front of it. The First begins to speak, "Lily, you are in the wrong. What you said was not only hurtful, but wrong. You don't have any powers; you could kill him if you tried. I want you to apologize to him, because he is your guardian. He is the one, who is going be taking care of you; he is your protector. He is only one in this entire hotel that has defended you, when you incapable of defending yourself. He is only one who knows things about your past, what has happened to you, why you are the way you are. Why you try to be hurtful and mean, when you really not. He knows what has been done to you; he knows and feels your pain. He wants to help; let him. Because if you don't, you will end up in place where you will beyond anyone's help, even mine. You will become completely evil, then I will have to destroy you, and I don't want to do that."
Lily turns away from the First; then she looks at the First. She begins to say something, then changes her mind, and says, "I don't care. You think I care what you do to me. I was lost a long time ago; I have been beyond your help for months since you turned your back on me. The day, day, all of you decide that you weren't going to help me. When you decide that you keep the most important thing, the most hurtful thing that could ever happen to me, away from me. On that day, I didn't need your help any more; I didn't want it any more. I don't want anyone's help. I didn't care whether die or live here any more. You think making me mortal, making me have human emotions, is going to change anything; it is not. . . ."
Angel interrupts, "You care; I know you do. Otherwise you never would have told me that you never would hurt anyone. You didn't want that demon in you to destroy the world; you couldn't control it. This whole tough behavior is just an act. I know you care; otherwise, you never would have accepted my help. You would have stayed in your memories. We could do this the hard way or the easy way; I prefer the easy way, but I will do the hard way if I have to."
"How do you know if I was acting now or then? Did you ever consider that I might have just been using you to fix myself? Did you really think I want to be stuck in my own worst memories? No. I used you to get what I needed; I needed to get out of my worst memories. Did you honestly think that I didn't know that you were there watching? I knew, I knew why you were there; I just simply let you do your job." Lily plainly states.
Fred slaps Lily and questions, "How can you been so cruel, so hurtful?"
"I learned from the best." Lily replies, rubbing her cheek.
"I know why. If you had seen what I did, you, too, would feel pity for her." Angel states.
"I don't want your pity; I just want to be left alone."
"I can't understand that you feel anything for her, after everything she has said." Buffy doubts.
"Like I said before if you had seen what that bitch, Miss Swan, did to her, you would understand."
"I can kill her now with no consequences, no turning evil. How am I going to kill her? Lion? Whip? Hot coals? Starvation? So many ways, so little time." Lily plans.
"You will not be killing Miss Swan. You can't even leave the Hotel unless you accompanied with Angel." The First informs.
"How can you always find a way to suck all the fun out of my life? Why do you always torture me? Why do you still look like her?" Lily screams. She runs up to the First; she wants to rip her face off, but Lily can no longer touch the First. Angel for the first time realizes why Lily doesn't want the First to look the way it does; the face it looks like is Lily's mother. Lily had been holding back every emotion she felt since waking up, and now they all are flooding her. She is on her knees, bawling her eyes out; she screams, "I hate you. I hate you. Stop looking like her. I told you I never want to see her face anymore."
"Why? Because she would be disappointed in you. . . ."
Angel interrupts, "Change NOW. (The First looks over at him.) Do it!" The First changes from Lily's mother to Lily form and asks, "Better."
"I guess. Lily, are you alright?" Angel wonders.
"She is still here. I can feel her."
"Who?" they all ask.
"The demon."
"That is impossible, Lily. I remove her. Let me read you." The First closes its eyes and then opens them. "She is not in you, Lily."
"Yes, she is. She is telling me to do evil things; she is telling to kill everyone, to destroy the world. She wants me start with Angel, then Buffy, then Faith, Conner, Willow, Gunn, and so on. She is telling me that if I want to be numb again to grab the stake behind Buffy's back and plunge it into Angel's heart. Help me."
"Buffy, do you have a stake behind you?" The First asks.
"Yes, Mr. Pointy, I always carry it." She answers.
"Lily, I assure you the demon is gone. It isn't in you." The First maintains.
"NO, you are wrong. She is here; I know it. I can feel her. . . ."
Lorne interrupts, "Sweetie, could you hum a little tune? I can't get a good reading off you."
Lily begins to sing in this beautiful, angelic voice, "Love and other moments are just chemical reactions in your brain, and feelings of aggression are the absence of the a title"Search for love" href"http/69.42.87.196/cgi-bin/v40/ezlclk.fcgi?id7099" target"blank" love /a drug in your veins in your veins. Love come quickly because I feel my self esteem is caving in. It's on the brink. Love come quickly because I don't think I can keep this monster in; it's in my skin. Love and other socially acceptable emotions are morphine, they're morphine, cleverly concealing primal urges often felt but rarely seen, rarely seen. Love I beg you lift me up into that privileged point of view the world of two. Love don't leave me, because I console myself that Hallmark a title"Search for cards" href"http/69.42.87.196/cgi-bin/v40/ezlclk.fcgi?id6915" target"blank" cards /a are true I really do. I'm gunning down romance, it never did a thing for me, but heartache and misery ain't nothing but a tragedy."
"Sweetie, that was just beautiful. I don't think I have heard such a beautiful voice before; all others pale in comparison, even mine. And you were right, there is still a little bit of demon left in you." Lorne avows.
"That is quite a compliant; Lorne thinks he is the best singer in the world. So First are you going to fix her?" Angel inquires.
"I don't understand why I couldn't see the demon . . ."
"Because I hid it from you, I didn't want you to see it. I want to be able to find her; I knew that if I left demon in her and you couldn't find that the aura demon would make her sing. I can trace her singing; if you forgot, we made her voice traceable and perfect, even in human form. Now I can kill her." This new being states.
"First. The other one. I will kill you for this. You will pay for making me crazy."
"Girlie, you have no power of me any more. You Are MORTAL! You can DIE! And that is exactly what I want you to do." The First Evil charges towards Lily; Lily doesn't move. The First Evil goes right through Lily; it tries again and does not succeed in harming Lily. Lily speaks, "I am mortal. You can touch me. I am not one of you any more. I am protected. Ha Ha. Good luck on trying to kill me with your own hands. I think I am going to like being mortal. Bye-bye."
The First Evil, furious, storms out of the Hotel. Lily is delighted, so delighted that she is dancing around like a faerie. She is so happy that she is sings the praises of all living creatures. Whenever Lily sings, uncanny events happen; this time every one in the hotel is drifted into a state of blissfulness. They are so happy that they don't even experience bad or evil thoughts or feelings. The moment, the exact moment, Lily stops singing, reality comes crashing back.
"Why did you stop?" they except Angel screams. They seem to be enraged.
Lily, in a scared voice, says, "Because the looks on your faces, you looked like zombies. I don't like putting people into trances. The trances aren't always good; most times people relive their worst memories, their saddest moments, or became so enrage that they are willing to kill any and everyone. 90 of the time, those are the results of my singing or humming."
The others begin to talk, but Angel starts first, "How did you feel when you sang before? Or what were you thinking when you sang?"
"Sad, my worst memories, angry, hate, and today, I felt happy. I felt happy (more to herself than the others). My singing reflects my mood, my feelings, or my thoughts into the people around me."
Angel explains, "Yes, but the withdrawal is harsh. (Lily looks confused.) We felt no evil or had any bad thoughts; we were in complete bliss. Then you just stop singing, reality came crashing back to us. The evil in the world, the things we had to fight; the things that go bump at night. It is like . . ."
Buffy interrupts, "Coming back from heaven."
"I'm sorry. I just didn't want you to start killing each other or me. The reactions of the past proved to be dreadful; I just didn't want to repeat the same mistakes."
"So we just to believe that you suddenly had a change of heart." Cordy doubts.
"No. I don't care if you believe me or not. First are you going to remove the rest of the demon from me?"
"Before you go taking things out of her, you should know the demon is gone." Lorne states.
"What!" Lily screams. "How?"
"You released it, when you stopped singing. Your concern for others, release the demon." Lorne enlightens.
"So, can I leave? No offense, but I don't like being kept where I am not wanted. Angel, don't tell that I am; you are probably the only one here who wants me to stay. I just can stay in another hostile environment; I don't think that it would be healthily. Please just let me go."
"I can't let you go; you could be kill or hurt. I can't allow you to be harmed." The First states.
"You can look like her again, because you are just creeping me out. (The First changes back to Lily's mother.) Why don't you want me harmed? This is just temporary; you are going to give me back my powers and immortality. When? When you deem me worthy; when I am cured. When!"
"When you learn to control you temper and use you emotions."
"So you just like toying with me."
"Lily, that is not . . ."
"True, yes it is. Poof, Lily is born. Poof, Lily's parents are killed. Poof, put Lily into the hell house. Poof, Betray Lily. Poof, fight Lily. Poof, make Lily mortal. Poof, tell her she has to come back. Come back to a life I hate, a life that nearly destroyed me. Forget it. I quit! I don't want to help the helpless; I don't want to save the planet. I don't to know what goes bump at night; I want you to erase my memories, all of them. I don't want that life back; I don't want any more scars, physically, mentally, or emotionally. Give me the one damn thing that I want. Can't you a least do one thing that I want?" Lily demands.
Almost defeated, the First states, "I can't Lily; you are too important to the cause. You will play a vital part in the final war."
"I DON'T CARE. I knew it; I am just some tool for you and the other First. You both just want me to choose your side. Why should I choose either side? Both of you are conniving, deceitful beings; you don't care about me, not really. All you care about is that your creation isn't destroyed; that I choose the side that you want. I have no free will; you never gave me any. You only made think I did."
"Lily, that is not true."
"Shut up; I am not finished. How can I have free will, when I am left in the dark, when I don't have all the information that I need or want? You shut me out; you don't tell me everything. I WANT MY MEMORIES ERASED. I DON'T WANT THIS LIFE!" Lily yells.
"Are you sure that you want this? Because it is irreversible. You won't be able to return your memories or powers." The First informs.
"Yes, I am sure; I don't want my memories or my powers back ever!" Lily affirms.
"Okay. It may hurt a bit, when you wake up you will be with your new family and new memories. . ."
"Angel, stop this. Tell her that it is her responsible to fight the good fight to help the helpless. Tell her to change her mind. Tell her." Wesley demands.
"I can't. This is what she has wanted for a long time; I am not going to rob her of a human life, a life without the contingent torture, a life without the foreboding of impending doom. I can't, I won't do that; I won't rob any one of a life out of the darkness, a life without constant battle between good and evil. All I can do is wish her luck in her life and hope she finds peace or what ever she is looking for." Angel replies.
"Thanks"
"Alright, Lily, close your eyes. Think of the room you always wanted, the parents you wanted, and the life you always dreamed of. Picture it." The First begins to chant in ancient languages. It rises Lily up into the air, turns her so that it appears that Lily is lying on a bed, and then poof, Lily is gone, faded into nothingness. The First collapses, not out of exhaustion, out of remorse, out of grief. The First loved Lily like a daughter to have Lily rejected everything that it gave her hurt the First. Angel goes up to comfort the higher being; he, too, is feeling slightly rejected. As he approaches the First, he tries to lay his hand on its shoulder, but finds that the First isn't corporal. The First stands up and states "Must be off. I have work that must be done. You all will be the only ones that will remember Lily. Good luck in your endeavors."
With that the First is gone. Angel turns to the group and says (with teary eyes), "We also have work to do, so let's get to it . . . Wesley, don't give that look! I will be okay."
"Are you sure?" Buffy asks, "You never looked so melancholy before. You really cared for her, didn't you?"
"Yes. I was inside her head; I saw what her deepest, darkest fears, her worst memories, and her true self. Inside she is quite beautiful, but also scared, confused, angry, alone. She deeply wanted to be understood and loved; she wanted to know what love is."
"But she said that she wanted to be numb." Buffy reminds Angel.
"Yes, to the pain of the world, to the cruelty of the world. She didn't know how to let love enter without getting hurt." Angel states.
"And you were willing to show her?" Wesley questions.
"Yes, I was willing to spend all eternity to show her how to love and be loved, to show her that the world is not as bad as she has seen. That everyone on the planet is not as bad as she has seen; I wanted to show her that she deserves to be love."
"Wow! I can't believe that. I can't believe you said that; it was beautiful. Why didn't you ever say anything like that to me? Or about me?" Buffy questions.
"What makes you think that he did?" Cordy demands.
"Cordy, I handle this myself. Buffy, I will always love you, but the moment I saw her I just felt like I knew her or had to know everything about her. I immediately felt her pain; I sensed that she was special that she would play an important part in my life or already did. Let's end this discussion because 'Lily' doesn't exist anymore. Buffy, you and your gang should go back to Sunnydale and find a way to stop the First Evil and we will go back to stopping our apocalypse. We will just forget about Lily." Angel states.
They do so; Buffy and her gang go back to Sunnydale; Angel and his gang focus on their apocalypse; they all put Lily in the back of their minds.
