Though this chapter might sound a bit anti-Integra, it is not. I love her to pieces and my favorite pairing is AxI, but for the sake of the story there is a bit of tension there. Things will begin to get complicated from now on. I hope I don't loose people because of this.
DISCLAIMER: don't own crap... though I do own a Hellhound plush toy that I finished a few days ago. It kicks.
There are little things that suggest a AU, specially when it comes to Pip and Seras. Take it this way. Since this story is flowing the way it is, I will write little guides before chapters if I feel the need. Or you can always ask me. I know what happens later on to him and her in the manga. Don't take it in consideration here just now.
Bear with me and with Pip's accent. I tried.
(LA Woman - the doors)
"I can't understand shit of what he's saying..." The Captain slurred. I almost didn't get what HE was saying.
"Same here... but I like it." I said as smoke slowly came out my moving lips.
It was a horrible mission tonight. We lost a lot of men. Captain Bernadette was not in the best of moods when I found him sitting around his barracks having a beer. I asked for a cigarette, I offered more beer, so we ended up in my room having some cigs and beer and feeling a bit better. I couldn't go to sleep. I was not only sad but angry at that scum that attacked us.
We were both on our backs on the floor, listening to The Doors. He said the last time he did was about 3 years ago. It brought him good memories.
"LA Womaaaaaaannn... LA Womaaaaaannnn... zats all I get..."
I laughed out loud. There's nothing funnier than a drunk guy with a heavy French accent trying to carry a tune. Yeah, we can say I was drunk.
"... same here..."
"...if zey say I never loved you..." He's still singing.
"...they know they are a-lyinggg." And I continued singing too.
"Zats what eet says?"
"I dunno... I think so..."
More laughs.
"Do you have Riders on the Storm?"
"... yeah..." He stood up and went to change the song. He almost tripped though. I laughed like a retard.
He sighed as he landed again on the floor beside me.
"You are good friends of ze police girl right?"
"... oui." I imitated him.
"... and you talk about women zeengs?"
"Yeahhhhh..."
"How different is she from a normal woman...?"
"Meaning..."
"Does she... function like one..."
"'Function'?"
"I'll just tell you, girl... I want to shag, she won't let me do it..."
"Oh no! Why? I hate people!"
"What happened, luv?"
"I have the same problem!" I said looking toward him with a pout.
"You do?"
"Yeah! I hate men!"
"It's a consinsssspirancy..." He tried to pronounce the word.
I laughed as if there was no tomorrow.
"... or somezeeng like zat..."
"Give her time... it-it's... she hasn't done it before..." I whispered that last thing.
"Oh?..."
"Yeah... be patient, little grasshopper..."
"Little?" He said looking at his crotch.
I pushed his side playfully.
"I didn't know Brendon was gay..."
"He's not gay!—hey! How do you know?"
"He's not shagging you by choice, girl? He's gay--."
"He's NOT gay..."
"--if you were not friends with ze police girl--."
"PIP!" I punched his arm softly. Yeah, he insisted that I stopped calling him Captain. "... there's someone else I'm seeing and he kind of ruins the moments..."
"Who else?"
"...someone... I can't tell you..."
"I know him?"
"I'm not sure."
"... c'mon! Tell, girl..."
"I caaaaan't!"
"So is he gay too?"
"No one is gay!... it's just—I don't know what his problem is..."
"Yep, he's gay."
"You don't understand."
"I don't understand their 'not-shagging-you'."
"I hate their willpower."
"They're gay... move on, girl."
"... whatever... treat Seras well... she's the sweetest girl..."
"She's a good girl, alright..."
"Don't force her..."
"Help me then, luv." He said jokingly trying to hug me.
"... with what--get off!"
"I need love..."
"You have two hands... take a pick."
"Nah... but I could help you--."
"Stop it!" I knew he was joking.
He began to crack up hysterically.
"I like your hair..." I said playing with his long braid.
"Don't mess it up..."
"Oop, sorryyyyy..."
(knock knock)
"We are not here!" Pip yelled. Again I began to laugh.
"Don't yell!"
"Don't take my clothes off so fast, girl!"
"I AM NOT DOING THAT YOU IDIOT!" I said laughing as I stood up and walked toward the door.
"I can take Brendon... and even your other guy..."
"Shut up..." More laughs as I opened the door. "Hi girl!"
"... hi..." It was Seras who had knocked. She looked a bit confused.
"Hey! Look who's here!" I said putting my arm around her shoulders and pulling her in. She still felt confused.
"... police girl... what took you so long?" Pip asked his head upside down.
"... I-I didn't know--you... were here..." She was surprised too I could tell. And didn't know what to think.
"Ok, lovebirds... I'm taking one beer and leaving you two to your... business..." I giggled like a school girl.
"Byeeeee luvvv... a pleasure..." Pip said from the floor.
"Same here Mon Amie... nighty night!" I said raising my beer bottle and leaving my room.
I closed the door and thought... ok, where am I going now...
I walked around having my beer and a cig I stole from Pip. Clay should be in his room... hmm, I guess I will sleep there with him.
I walked there, only to find no one. This sucks... where will I sleep? The vampire surely will not be there. It's his peak time. But I have no choice. I don't want to walk in these two doing the nasty or something. So off I go to the mansion.
I had finished the cig and beer a while ago. I zig-zagged a bit toward the house, my breath fogging my sight. It was cold and kind of humid too.
As I stepped inside the mansion, I realized the stupidity I was doing. But I was already inside and walking toward the stairs. There was nothing I could do. I almost giggled at what I was doing, but hey, what the hell. I slowly walked down the stairs and finally reached the sub levels. I wasn't sure where his room was but I was feeling adventurous; so I kept walking and walking down the long corridor.
My eyes adjusted to the darkness the further down I went. I made out a chair, a throne-looking chair at the end of the hallway. I walked to it, knowing I had found something. Him more specifically. My head, a bit buzzed still, looked around. Until my eyes, adjusting more and more to the darkness found what I had been looking for... and a little more; the vampire, pining someone against one of the darkest walls of the place.
I am weird and crazy. My reactions are always strange I am told; yeah I accept it, and buzzed I score a 10 in randomness. So I walked toward him and his company very slowly and smoothly; as I have been taught in years of martial art training. Un-root, relax, make your auric weight almost disappear... all that. I smiled, grinned more like it. Well, well... busted, vampire.
I saw a head of very very light almost platinum blonde hair, peeking from behind his shoulder. Heads are slowly rocking as if drowned in a kiss. His hands are against the wall, something he likes to do. Not touching the... woman it seems... just kissing her. I get closer and closer. Shit, I am brave. I walk almost around the couple and have to bite my lip to stop a chuckle. Well, well, who do we have here...
Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing.
Exterminator of everything undead.
Protestant to her socks.
Kissing a vampire in his room.
By the look of her hands, stiff and floating insecurely in the air... not knowing what to do. My Commander, not knowing what to do. Priceless.
I walk toward the couple, grinning slightly but... they are not aware of my presence.
Shit, I'm good.
I am standing, a bit over a foot away from them, at their side, my shoulder leaning against the wall. This is awesome! They must be enjoying themselves to no end!
Oh, power is a beautiful thing.
(hiccup!)
I cover my mouth almost mockingly as they stop and jump, her eyes getting as big as plates.
I turn to the vampire. "... you're busy... hm... wow, you do get around the place, huh?" I am so drunk.
I swear I could almost sense a grin coming from him.
I reached for his cravat and pulled him to me for a kiss. In his shock, he went with it, absently and lacking much of his skill. I brushed his teeth with my tongue and then backed my face away from his, letting his cravat go.
"I'll go sleep somewhere else then... sorry..." I looked at her, her eyes as big as watermelons and her hands still in the air, in shock.
I saluted.
Then turned around trying to not zig-zag too much.
I can't believe I just did that.
The other two better be done by now.
"First floor is clear... you may proceed" I heard a male voice on the radio.
"Roger that..." I said into the mic.
I walked, ducking and very alert, inside the building. The stench was hideous. These were crappy freaks I could tell. Messy. No class at all.
"... class? Since when those cockroaches have such thing?" A very well known male voice tickled my mind.
"I am very sorry Nosferatu Sir... I forgot that it is only a gift given to your kind and only your kind..."
"How bitter you... think, milady... is it something I said?... or is it something I did...?"
My knife buzzes through the air.
One ghoul down.
"pardon me if it upset you so much, milady..."
"Upset me?
"... after all you were not supposed to be there..."
"... right..."
Another knife leaves my hand.
Another one down.
"Did you come all the way from the comforts of your coffin to not understand a joke, vampire? Or are you gonna help me here..."
"You don't sound amused..."
"... oh really?"
"Rather aggravated, I would say..."
"You have a wild imagination, vampire..."
"Yes... I can't wait to show you what I have planned for us to do next time we meet, milady..."
"right..."
I throw two knives as twins and with a twist of my wrist they separate half way through the air and hit two targets.
"Gotcha."
"That was quite exquisite."
"Careful... don't get a hernia by complimenting me."
"Second floor is clear Sir." I said into the mic.
"Retreat Officer... trash disposal unit taking over."
"Roger that Captain... out."
"Break a leg... in various parts..." I sing-songed.
"Thank you, such a dear always..."
"Hey you know me."
"And what a pleasure it is." His chuckle tickled my brain.
I walked out of the building and toward the van.
Yeah, we can say my ego is bruised. Damn him.
I got a "Provocative" in a review. Wow, thanks a lot.
I hope this doesn't get too complex that I loose people. Reviews let me know how everything is going. If it's not too much of a hassle, please let me know how I am doing. Thanks again for reading!
