:Darn Crash Bandicoot:

Disclaimer: I own nothing. I own my telephone booth only. It's my new home. Crash and pals belong to whoever develops them now.

Summary: In this two part story, an infuriated Doctor Cortex seizes an oppotunity to thwart his arch nemesis Crash Bandicoot. Alas, he gives his henchmen once last chance to redeem themselves after being defeated (and humiliated in the process) by Crash. Now is the time for operation "Get Crash Bandicoot Plan X!" Will Cortex succeed? (shrugs) Maybe! Hopefully! (coughs are heard) Set after CB 1 (it's his last ditch attempt to defeat him before CB 2)!

Explain Yourselves

"Well? Explain yourselves!"

Cortex was met with confused glances from his injured henchmen.

"Explain what?" asked Pinstripe, placing a bag of ice on his head.

"Explain how that bandicoot managed to defeat you all!" Cortex demanded. "I just don't understand it! He's a failure!" Cortex walked around with his arms behind his back in thought.

"Papu Papu no know how he was beat! Papu Papu hang head in shame." Papu Papu hung his head in disgrace.

"Muhahahahahahaha! Hehehehahahahahaha!" Ripper Roo shrieked with laughter, scratching his sore, bandaged head with his razor sharp toenails.

Raising an eyebrow, Cortex blinked. "I see..."

Koala Kong winced angrily. "Kong get hit by rocks. No fair! I wanna hit bandicoot with rock!"

Pinstripe sighed, shaking his head in embarrasment. "Let's not go there! I mean armchairs protect bandicoots from BULLETS! That's insane!"

Cortex slapped his forehead in agony of hearing pitiful excuses and started to staunter around deep in thought. Suddenly he shot a glare at his henchmen, frowning. "I've been thwarted! I've got to destroy that darn bandicoot! He got in the way of my evil world domaination schemes! Unexpectedly!"

Pausing for dramatic effect, he suddenly got out a photo of Crash and demolished it with a shot from his laser gun.

"It's time to get that bandicoot!"

Cortex was greeted with silence, as the henchmen raised their eyebrows.

"You're all as much failures as he is!" Cortex turned to look at Papu Papu. "Maybe if you watched your back, he wouldn't have defeated you!"

Papu Papu started to brawl in embarrassment.

"It is thanks to you I have no headquarters, since you sold off the ruins of my...beloved castle!" Cortex wailed, drying a tear from his eye before continuing. "Now we have to camp out in Starbucks!" He turned to Ripper Roo.

"Ripper Roo...oh Ripper Roo." he shook his head solemnly. "I don't even know where to start with you. You know it's never a good idea to mix you up with explosives."

Ripper Roo simply responded with shrill manical laughter.

"Koala Kong. Your apparent lack of brains really failed you."

Koala Kong scratched his head, dumbstruck. "Kong no understand."

Sighing, Cortex looked at Pinstripe, who was taking a serious dosage of asprins.

"Pinstripe, Pinstripe,Pinstripe." he murmured gravely. "What happened! Bulletproof armchairs!"

Pinstripe groaned, adding another bag of ice to his head.

"And Brio! You-" Cortex glanced around. "Oh. He's gone." His tone transformed back into a bossy tone. "You bunch of failures have disgraced me..."

The henchmen groaned.

"But!" he suddenly grinned. "We all might still have a chance! Here's the plan!"

"Yous serious? We've all taken a beatin' from some failure!"

"Muhahahahahahahahahaha! Hehehehehehehehe!"

"Papu Papu smell good food!"

"Kong need rocks!"

Cortex sighed in annoyance. "What does it take for you failures to listen?"

Silence.

"Anyway. It's time for "Get Crash Bandicoot Plan X"! Crash and the she-bandicoot are somewhere still on this island! All we have to do his ambush them."

Silence.

"For a genius such as I, it's not the most creative of ideas. But seeing as I'm humilated by being thwarted, I'm willing to do anything to destroy him!" Cortex roared, stomping on Crash Bandicoot merchandise.

The henchmen went about their own businesses respectively, not listening to their master.

"What is wrong with you all! DON'T YOU WANT TO CRUSH THAT BANDICOOT?"

"Yes!" they chorused in unison.

"So? GET TO IT!" he pointed to the exit.

The minions stared back blankly.

Cortex hopped on into the "meeting room" table, flapping his gloved hand at Papu Papu to play the piano in the background. Instead disco music came, making Cortex very angrily raise his laser gun and destroy the stereo.

He was ready to make his big dramatic speech. "You see, when I was a young doc, I had a dream! A dream to be most evil, twisted, diabolical doctor in the world! Hellbent at world domaination by the age of six, I was going to carry out this dream! But now that nasty, dimwitted dobadder of a marsupial in is in the way." He pouted. "No matter how dimwitted you all are, you must keep the Cortex reputation alive!"

Papu Papu crushed the piano, halting the dramatic music.

Ripper Roo scratched a tear from his eye, touched.

"SO GET OUT THERE AND GET HIM!"

The henchmen applauded clamorously, before charging outside the headquarters (therefore magically forgetting about their wounds ) ).

Koala Kong came to a sudden halt. "Duh. What does Kong do again boss?"

Cortex sighed, shaking his head.

To Be Continued!

So will Cortex's plan work? Will the henchmen execute their ambush successfully? What colour shall I paint my telephone booth? So many questions! Wait until part two! WOO-HOO-HOO!

Pinstripe: Your telephone booth should be red.

Komodo Joe: No green!

Pinstripe: RED!

Komodo Joe: GREEN!

Ciao!

Love Nush xoxoxoxox