Disclaimer: READ LAST CHAPTER!
Pinstripe: She gets tired of writing disclaimers!
Damn right I do! But it's something I gots to do!
Komodo Joe: Now back to the ssssssstory!
:Ambushes:
Crash and Tawna were harmlessly driving along a random road somewhere.
"Oh Crash! Weeks ago we were in a rotten lab that smelled of cheap aftershave! Now we're free!" Tawna said happily.
Crash nodded happily, casually putting on his sunglasses.
Suddenly! Yes! SUDDENLY! (I just love sudden appearances!) Another car pulled up behind the happy couple out of no-where!
"What the-" Tawna blinked rapidly.
"Hahahahahahahahahehehehahaha!" hysterical laughter came from the car.
"Is that car laughing at us!" The female bandicoot screeched in confusion.
Crash simply shrugged, as he made the car swerve aside as the other car accelerated off a nearby cliff. The resulting explosion sent the car to fly down to the depths below.
Tawna and Crash blinked in confusion as they stepped out the car to investigate.
"Aw man! I was meant to make a memorable entrance!" came the complaint of the mystery pursuer, climbing up the cliff.
Crash scratched his scalp.
"(cough) Do yous not remember me...(cough) Crash Bandicoot!"
Crash stared blankly.
"No? Yous don't?" Pinstripe coughed violently as he stepped out of the smoke.
Crash's eyes flickered in recoginition.
"Yous destroyed my office! Destroyed my stamp collection! Worst of all...yous destroyed my prize-winning ham!" Pinstripe hissed, dusting off dirt from his suit.
Tawna smirked in amusement. "Crash? Is this one of the losers you beat? Is he the Mafia-wannabe?"
"I RESENT THAT!"
"You must be insane to want a re-match! He'll kick your ass to Latvia again!"
Although initially VERY angry at this moment in time, he was suddenly dumbstruck by her beauty.
"Hey buddy! My eyes are up here!" Tawna frowned, waving her hands.
Koala Kong suddenly appeared, creeping as quietly and quickly as he could with a 60ft boulder (Don't ask!)! He was about crush Crash with it, when he clumsily tripped over a rock resulting in a huge Koala Kong pancake!
In the near distance, Papu Papu complete with a blonde wig and dress was pushing along a baby's pram.
"When Papu Papu say "Baby Boom-Boom" you throw thing that go boom! Papu Papu have your understanding?"
Ripper Roo -complete with baby gear- popped his head out of the pram and manically giggled. "Hehehehehehehahahaha! Gooo, gooo!"
Meanwhile, Crash was getting annoyed with Pinstripe's gawping.
"Haven't I seen yous before?" Pinstripe asked, batting his eyelids. (Can you do that!)
Disturbed his batting eyelids, Tawna glared at him. "No!"
Pinstripe shook his head, dispelling his romantic thoughts. "Oh man! I forgot why I'm even here!"
Kicking the dirt for several moments made the plan come back to him. "Oh yeah! Now I know!"
Dramatic music boomed in the background. "Do yous know why I am here today? Because I am the potoroo to destroy yous!"
Rolling his eyes, Crash arranged his hair while giving Pinstripe a "sure you can destroy me" look.
He hastily raised his tommy gun in one hand. "FORDOCTORCORTEX!" he yelled rapidly, as he charged towards Crash opening fire.
Crash yawned as he stepped out the way.
"Why do yous have to make this harder? No bulletproof furniture this time!" he yelled manically, turning around.
Meanwhile Papu Papu pushed the pram up towards the cliff area. "Pushing pram hard work."
Ripper Roo's twisted expression turned into an annoyed one. "Muahahahahahahahaha!" (Translation: "You've only started pushing!")
Papu Papu sighted the enemy just yards away. "Baby-Boom Boom! Baby-Boom-Boom!"
"Muhahahahahahaha!" Ripper Roo used his feet to throw a TNT box towards Crash.
"Got yous now Bandicoot!" Pinstripe said happily, before the TNT box landed right in front of him!
"What the-"
BOOM!
The explosion sent Pinstripe flying all the way to Latvia.
"Labdien!" chirped a Latvian citizen.
Papu Papu looked worried and started to push the pram to get away from Crash, resulting in Ripper Roo manically laughing.
"What's so funny? Papu Papu no get joke."
As if on cue, the pram haphazardly exploded.
Crash and Tawna were left very confused surrounded by debris.
"What was that all about?" Tawna gasped in amazement.
Crash simply just blinked.
Meanwhile back to Cortex's HQ (Starbucks)...
All the wounded henchmen were back in the meeting room needing bandages and asprins.
"Don't tell me!" Cortex sighed. "You all failed again, right?"
The minions nodded.
Cortex twiddled his thumbs. "What do you all have to say?"
"Uh...his girlfriend is hot?"
Cortex bit his lip in his attempt to resist his anger. "I'm calm. I'm cool. I'm collective."
Everyone sighed happily.
Unable to hold his anger in any longer, Cortex exploded: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT AGAIN! ARGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"IT WAS HIS FAULT!" the minions all pointed to one another.
Uka Uka flew into the room and zapped everyone to the ground. "YOU FAILURES! YOU MORONS! THWARTED BY AN UGLY, STUPID BANDICOOT! SHAME ON YOU!" He promptly flew off again.
Cortex sniffed. "Next time Crash Bandicoot. NEXT TIME!"
ZE END!
Ciao! Read and review guys! No flames - if you don't like it, don't read it! Or review it! You know the score!
Komodo Joe and Pinstripe: (hum disco song from Urban Chaos)
(dances around dementedly)
Arriverderla!
Love Nush xoxoxoxox
