The Ocarina of Time: Directors Cut

Ch 1. Forest Follies

Disclaimer: Not own do I yes? Fic with on the know.

A/N:Er, what was that! Anyways if you didn't understand the disclaimer than i'll sumarize it for you...I don't own the characters in this Story, thanks! This is a hilarious version of the N64 game, The Legend of Zelda:Ocarina of Time

Cool, Italics. On with the fic.

"Wake up Link." called Navi the fairy. "Its time for you and me to go to the Great Deku Tree!" Navi bounced up in down in the air awaiting an answer. Then Link did something that neither the Great Deku Tree or Navi could have anticipated.

"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ." Link said still sound asleep. However, this sleep wasn't the restless sleep you see him in while playing the game, It was Quite a happy dream. In fact, it was so happy that he refused to wake up. What a perdicament...

"LINK IF YOU DONT WAKE UP I'LL BEAT YOU INTO THE GROUND WITH A HAMMER!" Navi yelled pulling out a sledge hammer. Link made no attempt to wake. "I was walking in the park one ..." Navi whisted. CRACK!

"Youch!' Link yelled as a huge red bumb apeared on his head. "What the (Censored) did you do that for." Link yelled in fury. "I was just minding my own business, having a nice peaceful nap and then you came around whacking me with that huge hammer!"

As Link scolded Navi further for some reason Navi could not understand a word he was saying, instead she was hearing something along the lines of...(Blah Blah Blah Yap Yap Dribble Dribble Dribble.) All of this bored Navi so much that she pulled out a yo-yo and started playing with it.

"YOU MORON, LITSEN TO ME!" Link screamed getting the faires attention again. Suddenly Navi had an extremly grave look on her face. Link didn't notice this...

"Did you just say, listen to me..." Navi asked. Link gave no response to the question of his new Guardian fairy. "I am the only one to say that...HEY LOOK LISTEN." Navi screamed at the top of her little lungs. "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" asked the infuriated fairy.

"uh-huh." Link said trying to hide from the glares his fairy emited. "let's go see the Great Deku Tree now" Link suggested. Pulling on his tunic, boots, and hat. Soon both were heading down the ladder conecting Links house to the forest floor. "On to the Great Deku Tree's meadow" Link said triumphantly. Soon the two came to the entrance where Mido stood.

"Where do you think your going, it's too dangerous without equipment like this..." Mido said holding up the Deku sheild & Kokiri sword. " So until you can find things Just like this you can't go and see the almighty Great Deku Tree. "

"Well in that case..." Link said before kicking Mido where the sun dosen't shine and taking the equipment. "Thanks a ton Mido, see ya later." Link said, leaving the groaning kokiri on the ground. With sword and shield in hand, Link went forward to the Deku Tree's meadow.

"So Navi, describe the Great Deku Tree" Link said as he walked down the winding path. When there was no reply he stopped to see what was wrong with Navi. To both his horror and amazement, Navi had a CD player and was listening to it, loudly.

"How did you get a CD player, Those aren't manufactured in Hyrule" Link said in amaze.

All of the sudden the musical device disapeared. "Great, you let the author know that nobody in Hyrule makes CD's, MP3 players, or DVD's" Navi said. Suddenly, along with the Cd player, Navi's MP3 player and her DVD player with DVD's disappeared. She stared in astonishment and shouted, "CRAP! I HAD TO OPEN MY STUPID MOUTH! UGH! I BLAME YOU LINK!!!!!! Anyways, The Great Deku Tree looks like a ..." Navi said but they had arived at the Great Deku Trees meadow. "Like That" Navi exclaimed pointing to a huge tree!

"GREETINGS LINK, I AM THE GREAT DEKU TREE, CREATOR OF ALL OF THE STUFF IN THE FOREST" boomed a great voice. "LAST NIGHT SOME DUDE CAME AND PUT A...A...UMMM....GRRR...LINE!" the Great Deku Tree said.

"The line is 'curse', sir" one of the stage hands said to the Great Deku Tree. "Were back on in 3...2...1..." he said before the cameras came on again.

"LAST NIGHT SOME DUDE CAME AND PUT A CURSE ON ME" the Great Deku Tree said to Link. "I WANT YOU TO GO INTO MY HEART AND DESTROY THE CURSE...DO YOU ACCEPT MY QUEST THING A MA JIGGER BOB...YEA THAT.." asked the Great Deku Tree.

"Yes, Great Deku Tree, I accept your quest...thing...ummm..ok." Link said raising his sword and shield. As the Great Deku Tree's mouth opened Link jumped into the big tree dude thing...yea, suuurrrrrrrrre. "It's so dark in here I can barely see my cue cards!" Link said. "I wish there was some way I could..." Link said, looking mischeviously at Navi.

"Yo Link, why are you looking at me like that...uhhhh...er...ummmm....ya, you know that faires can't be a flashlight right" Navi asked. As Link inched closer, and closer, and closer...he fell through that big hole in the center of the room. Worried, Link grabbed Navi in an attempt to fly...yea, it failed.

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"Link yelled as he fell, and fell, and fell, and fell...

(3 hours later)...and fell, and finaly hit the floor where he found...GHAMA! "Hey, I haven't found the sling shot yet" Link complained. Well your the star, improvise. "What do you mean improvise. That's too big of a word for my brain. AHHH!!! IT'S SMOKING!!! BLINDING !!! AHHHHH!!!" Link yelled. before the author could tell Link, Ghama charged. " uhm Navi ...Gahma said,"HEY!"

Link said as the fairy came out from under his extremly large hat.

"WHAT!"Navi yelled glaring at Ghama and retrieving a rather large axe out of nowhere. "DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE"the fairy screamed slicing Ghama into tiny little pieces. "No...One...Says...That...But...Meeeee!!!!!" said Navi. "come on Link, lets get out of here" said the woodland sprite throwing the axe away.

"Navi...HOW???" Link yelled. As he said that a big floating hand picked up Link and through him out of the tree. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" Yelled the kokiri as he flew through the sky. In about 5 minutes Link landed with a thud on his bum.

"HEY, YOU FORGOT MY SODA" Yelled the Great Deku Tree. " I CAN'T SURVIVE UNLESS I DRINK A SODA IN ABOUT 3 SECO...." the Great Deku Tree died on the spot and Link found The Kokiri Emerald. Once again Link was picked up by a floating hand and thrown back to his house.

A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! the end is near!!!!! Bwahahahahahahahaha!!! Well, not really. I just thought I would say that. Ya know, for kicks? R&E&A&D &&&&&& R&E&V&I&E&W& N&O&W& O&R& Y&O&U& W&I&L&L& H&A&V&E& T&O& F&A&C&E& M&Y& W&R&A&T&H&& (nOt ExAcTlY sUbLiMbItAl MeSsAgInG, bUt LeT's LeAvE aLl Of ThE cOmPlIcAtIoNs To mY oLdEr sIsTeR.) You say im crazy, but i say im nuts. hehehehehe. Later people....untill next time....BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!