Top of Form

The Ocarina of time: Directors Cut

Ch 2. What? Spray paint?

Disclaimer: Ya, more Italics! I love italics. Oh, I don't own any of the characters in this chapter of the story. Now back to the insanity that is my mind.

A/N: So what did you guys think of the first chapter. I would appreciate some feedback but I'm not saying ya got to cough cough review coughcoughahem. Sorry bout that... Bad cold...Ya know how it is. Now, Fic, full speed ahead!

"Hey Saria" Link said to his best friend who had been sniffing Cheerios. She walked kind of crooked and was obviously high. (How? no one will ever know.) "Uhm, you ok?" Link asked.

"Sure am" Saria said. "Yo dude, why are ya makin' everything spin, it's making me dizzy. " said a confused Saria who started giggling insanely. Link shook his head and started "Tsk" ing.

"Saria, nothing is spinning, you're just as high as them birds up in the sky. You're just as high as Mido's cholesterol (Mido got really fat, really fast...By the product called...da da da duuuummmmm! Fast Fat. Own it today. Not sold in any store, anywhere!)" Link said leading his friend to the part of the forest that held her house. "Now go in there and sleep for about 6 hours," Link said as he opened the door and left the forest. "So Navi, what do we do now?" Link asked.

"Lets go to Lon Lon ranch and tip the cows," suggested Navi. By now it was about noon but it took them 6 days to reach the ranch because Nintendo programmed the game that way (I think it's dumb but you know how those programmer guys are, everything has to be as realistic as possibly. No such thing as speed for them. Just coffee, girls and booze). "Here we are Lon Lon ranch" Navi said as they arrived with spray cans and many rolls of toilet paper.

"I'll take the barn, you start tipping cows" ordered Navi. Soon every cow was on the ground and Navi had written, Lost woods or bust on the barn. Next, the two went over to the chicken coop...

"DIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE" Link yelled as he attacked the chickens. As if a horrible omen, 1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 (copy and paste is so much fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun... okay, got that out of my system.)Chickens came to attack the two. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Screamed Link. They ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, (energizer bunny, no?) And ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran, and ran...

(12 hours later) and ran, and ran, and ran. "I think they became to old to fly Link," said the guardian fairy, her light growing dimmer and dimmer and dimmer and...okay I'll stop. The two found themselves on a huge cliff. All of the sudden an elephant fell on the cliff and a large cracking noise was heard. (REPUBLICANS!)

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Yelled the adventurers, as the cliff, them, and the elephant fell to the canyon below (to make what is now called the Grand Cannon.

And so, everyone took a break, drank coffee, and watched MTV before going back to the show. (Of course our hero was getting snacks in his secret stash while Saria was still getting high on Cheerios)

"So, Navi what now?" Link asked. The two of them thought for a while as all sort of ideas popped up into their heads. Within 15 minutes Navi had an answer.

"Whatever the author writes," Navi said. And so they turned to the author for advice. "Well, what do we do author" Navi asked. Go to Death Mountain. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha... okay I'm over that now. Whew...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAhAHAHAHHAHAha; HAAHHAHAhahahqAhAHAhHA... oops. Did I do that? Oh, well...in a remote village that the author happens to reside in at the moment (he got kicked out of the last one) GIANT MUTANT COCKROACHES ATTACK! (BUMBUMBUUUM!) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (one finger words rock!)

Quick cockroach quote" World domination will be...READ AND REVIEW!"Continued in the next chapter... sinister voice that sounds like a dead guy (though I don't know how that sounds) "Until then, kiddies! Bwahahahahaha!"(HOW CAN DEAD GUYS TALK?)

If

If that

If that is

If that is ok

If that is ok with

If that is ok with you

If that is ok with you Reviewing

If that is ok with you Reviewing type

If that is ok with you Reviewing type reader

If that is Ok with you Reviewing type reader People!

Review and stop reading this chapter already! People do move on ya know!

Top of Form