The Ocarina of Time: Directors Cut
Ch 4.What!
Disclaimer: Look already...I don't own it, I never have owned it, and I won't own it until my cousins army of vampire ninja penguins are fully trained and mobilized, ok. So, don't think that I own anything in this story.
Kokiri forest, three days after Link goes to bed.
"ooooohhhhh!" bob said, his Kokiri senses were tingling like mad but, hey, it was chocolate. So it went that bob and the other Kokiri were led to a specific part of the forest, and they were led by a trail of Hershey Kisses.
"Greetings...Kokiri...type...people...things." said a man with black armor.(Guess Who?) "I have obtained the great Triforce! Of course, now that I have it your people are under my absolute control!" The Kokiri looked at one another, but just as one of them was about to speak up... "However, as a consolation for the loss of your free will, I have left a bag of Lolli-pops on that rock for you." As one the Kokoris faces lit up and they let out a chorus of "Yaaaaaaayyy, Candy!"
Meanwhile...
"...So Link, that is my life story." finished Rauru. Three days ago he had found Link and, being the old fart that he was, he had decided that he would tell Link his life story. If it wasn't for the fact that Rauru was old and a dumb ass, he may have realized that he was asleep. Oh well.
Goron City, one week after Link goes to bed.
"Darunia...
you would stand against me? Do you know who I am? I am GANONDORF,
ruler of the universe and time itself?" Ganondorf yelled. "I
don't care if you are a 7 eyed platypus, I will not surrender to your
Evil!" The two giant sources of male...ness glared at each
other. "Then there is no Choice...we must
FIGHT!"
declared the Gerudo King. "One...Two...Three!" they yelled
in unison and their fist flew towards there opponent!
"Hahahahahahahahahaha! Paper beats rock! I win!" yelled
Ganondorf. Darunia's head began to slump in submission...What!
All this drama, all the tension I've been building up and rock,
paper, scissors is the best you got? NYURF! Cut to Rauru &
Link.
The Chamber of the Sages...
" damn it Link, I KNOW that you're cheating. This is the sixth game straight that you've beaten me!" Rauru exclaimed in frustration. Link was snoring very loudly and laid in front of his sleeping body was a hand of cards. Wow. Rauru is the most idiotic person I have ever seen... Ok.
Zora's domain, 10 days after Link goes to bed.
There is a sign posted on the wall of the cave leading into the Zora's Domain which reads," FUTURE HOME OF THE GREAT GANONDORF'S AIR CONDITONER. DO NOT TRESPASS, IF YOU ZORAS READING THIS DONT COMPLY, BAD STUFF WILL HAPPEN." of course, being that king zora is the only person in hyrule even close to as stupid as Rauru, he resisted.
"NEVER! yelled King Zora. "well then..." said Ganondorf as he snapped his fingers. Suddenly in stepped two moblins holding fishes and a sushi chef. "King Zora, meet Mr. Ishikawa, my personal sushi Chef. The first fish was promptly turned into wasabi. "Surrender or the other trout gets it!" proclaimed Ganondorf." At that moment something happened that could only be spawned out of the mind of someone twisted enough to write a fanfiction."FOR THE LAST TIME, I AM A HERRING!" That's right folks, the fish is complaining. "okay, I surrender!
Back with sleepy and dopey...
"your sure he said he wanted an earring?" Zelda asked skeptically as she looked at Link, still asleep and now beginning to drool. "Of course I am!" said Rauru. Zelda shrugged and pulled out a very sharp, red-hot poker.
Impa's house, 2 weeks after Link went to bed.
"But...the pen is blue?" said Impa in a slightly uncertain voice. "No it isn't, you only think that it's blue." replied Ganondorf. "But...?" she asked, "Does that mean it is red?" Ganondorf shook his head. "No, it's not red and it's not blue, your not really seeing a pen." Naturally, Impa became doubly confused. "If it's not a pen then what is it!" she asked. "In all reality it is actually an orange frog."
The great truth of this makes Impa so distressed that she jumps down the well. So, that is how the Sheikah got in the temple. "Really?" she asked. YES, really, get with the program would ya.
Rauru and Link
"You know what link, you are really a quiet guy aren't you?" asked Rauru. Naturally Link doesn't answer being that he is asleep. "Why aren't you talking to me? Did I do something to upset you? TALK TO ME! FINE, I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE...WHY AREN'T YOU SAYING ANYTHING!" Wow, that was really weird.
Spirit Temple, 1 month after Link goes to bed.
"NO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!" yelled Nabooru. Being that Ganondorf is the king of the Gerudo, he makes them all work at a new line of Taco/Mexican reatraunts. "Yup."
A/N: uuummmm...Ok, I kind of rushed through the end but its wasn't that bad. Thanks to anyone who is actually reading this thing. Now I would like to thank all of you reviewers...
Ibble Ibble: Thanks much. I'll keep your suggestion in mind.
So, all of you people please review. I will be accepting reviews from anonymous readers as well. Oh, and I don't mean to offend anyone other than Platypus Enthusiast. As for them...GET A LIFE!
