Finally I'm going on a mission without my Master. I'm not saying that I don't like being on missions with my Master, but maybe with this mission I can prove myself to the Jedi Council.
I'm glad I got this assignment. I can be with Padme and at the same time, my Master is tracking that bounty hunter. I wonder how long it will take him? Hopefully not to quickly, I would like to spend time with Padme. I haven't seen her in ten years.
My Master says that I should trust the Council, but I find it difficult to. Somehow I get the feeling that my Master is just repeating what other Jedi have said. Why can't he reveal his own opinion instead of quoting other people? It's like saying, do or do not there is no try. When instead you can say, there is no middle ground in taking an action. You either do it or you don't.
I know that I tend to talk more then necessary about situations, but I just can't seem to help myself. My Master would say that I am acting as the person or people I'm talking to are children who must have things explained to them till they understand. I know that this is something I need to work on, and I'm grateful that my Master catches me when I start to go to far.
Palpatine tends to praise me more then my Master and I enjoy it, perhaps to much. My Master once told me during a mission that pride leads to arrogance and arrogance leads to mistakes. I like the feeling of being praised, but I see my Master's point. This is another thing that I need to work on. I need to learn to be humble, but can I be humble and enjoy praise from others at the same time?
When I won the podrace that won my freedom, I was really happy and everyone praised my accomplishment, except for Watto. I wasn't prideful then was I? I suppose there is line between being prideful and humble. I just need to find where that line is.
Could it be my pride that is keeping me from Knighthood? It is true that I think that I am better then other Jedi and in some areas, better then my Master. I will work on this, I will prove to the Council that they made the correct choice in letting me be trained.
On the subject about my Master being in love once. If I think about it, I can see my Master in love with someone. It must be painful for my Master to love someone while the Jedi code stands in his way. Whoever decided to say that attachments are forbidden need to have their brain examined.
The attachment rule is stupid. In fact, I believe we can be Jedi and have attachments. If my Master and I were not attached to each other then one or both of us would be dead by now. I can't begin to count how many times we both saved each other's skins. There was even the time when I got kidnapped, our second mission I believe, where our bond was cut off and it took Obi-Wan three months to track me down. He still looked for me regardless of the Council's orders.
I know about the Council's orders because my Master was not allowed to visit me in the Healer's ward afterwards. Another reason I dislike the Council.
My Master is as powerful as Mace Windu and as wise as Master Yoda. I told Padme this. I know that my Master does not like me praising him in front of people, but he deserves it. In fact, if I look back ten years from now, I see that I'm not the only one who has grown in so any ways. My Master has come far and both of us still have far to go.
I also told Padme about what I think about the Jedi Council, of course I had to complain about each of them individually. Perhaps complaining to Padme is not a good thing. Now I feel like I was acting like a child.
It's time to board our transport. After my Master speaks with Padme, he approaches me and puts something in my hand. Through our bond he tell, no, suggests to keep moving, off planet if necessary, just in case those who want to kill Padme have discovered where she is.
I am, surprise, shocked really. Not to long ago my Master had told me to stay on Naboo. He is concerned about me, I can sense it even though he tries to hide it. I am thankful that he has bent the boundaries on the Council's wishes, but I hope he doesn't get in trouble again.
We say the common parting greeting among Jedi and Padme and I board the ship. Looking down at what I hold in my hand, I see that it is a small recorder chip. I wonder what message may be on it and decide to save it for later. Right now, all I want to do I be with Padme and talk to her.
