Yes, I'm alive. Thank you guys so much for the support and the emails of concern. The storm gave a turn at last minute and hit us DIRECTLY. I went out when the eye of the hurricane passed over us. It was beautifully scary... took pictures and everything; a red sky. I know someone that if he only existed, would have loved that :D. I cried in happiness at such magnificent display of power. I still have no electricity; I am doing this from a friend's house. It's a bit frustrating because I have no food in my fridge and stuff but hey, life goes on. It hasn't been my best month but I'm up and alive and that only makes me feel better about myself. I'm learning.
Ok, that was the lesson for today kids MUAHUAHUA.
Ahem.
On with the thing...
What the hell is Seras doing?
I walked toward the police girl with a frown on my face. She didn't feel me coming closer to her because she wouldn't stop what she was doing. The Draculina was standing in front of a wall, softly banging her forehead against it, over and over again.
Ok, is dementia a side effect of being undead? Jeez...
"You know..." I began, standing beside her with arms crossed, my side against the cement wall. "I tried that; it just made me dumber..."
"I'm frustrated." she mumbled, not stopping.
"I can see—just curious; you are doing this because..."
She's still doing it.
"I'm trying to faze through the bloody wall..."
"Yes, you sound frustrated."
"I should be walking through it by now! I'm so bloody useless!"
"Ok, hold on... too early for the auto-flagellation routine—." I said looking at my watch.
"Maybe you don't understand—."
"Hey call me crazy but I've tried it." I shrugged. She finally stopped and looked at me.
A lot.
"You have tried... what exactly?" Seras finally asked.
"To faze through the wall." yes, she is staring at me. "... look when I'm not with you, I'm with your Master... sometimes I have to keep my humanity in check..."
She's still staring at me.
You know... thinking about it... I'm kind of nuts.
Damn, it's contagious.
"Still curious—according to whom you should be trespassing walls?"
"Master."
"Why..."
"He says that if he can do it, I can."
"But he's like ten million years old or something! I thought there was some kind of Vampire Association giving you crap about this—." she's still banging her head against the wall. "--stop it! You're making my forehead throb with nonexistent pain!"
She finally stopped.
"So I see you have talked to your Master." I stated with a sigh.
"Not after what happened with you two and Sir Integra."
I frowned.
"Wait, that was three days ago, Seras."
"Is he ok? I was getting worried—."
"Girl, I came to ask you the same thing."
Silence. We looked at each other with a frown.
"He never came back to tell me how it went with her." I finally said.
"I haven't seen him even before that, I think... thanks to you he doesn't bother me anymore—."
"--god, I hope he's ok..." I almost whispered.
"Well, you're still on duty; I don't think he got punished that bad..."
Yes, she doesn't know the details of the meeting.
"Seras, what's the worse that can happen—worst punishment he can go through?"
She shrugged.
She saw my worry because her face became darker.
"Why are you so worried?"
"Seras... I... didn't tell you something kind of important from the meeting with Hellsing."
"Well?"
Silence.
"He... intervened... so she couldn't fire me."
"Intervened?"
Silence.
"He blamed himself."
Silence.
"But that makes no sense!—it was you and him—."
"Rape."
She almost gasped. Her hand went to her mouth. Her eyes were the size of donuts.
"He... told Hellsing he mentally forced me."
Her eyes were not getting smaller.
"He said he did that to you?"
"Yes."
"And she believed it?"
"Well, I'm still here."
She looked away, her eyes still wide.
"Technically, she should know this is not possible." she said softly. "... the seals wouldn't allow him to do this..." my frown disappeared as I began to get her point. "... if she believed him—."
"--She might think they are not working anymore..."
Silence.
"Seras, again, what is the worst thing that can happen—."
"--what if he gets—oh no..." she whispered.
"Get what?"
Silence. Nothing from her.
"Seras... get what..."
Her lips parted but nothing came out.
"Seras..." I was demanding an answer.
She grabbed my hand and pulled me to walk beside her.
"Now it's my turn to make you promise to not tell a soul what I will tell you."
"Girl, you're scaring me."
"Well, it is something to be scared about." she said with a nervous chuckle.
"I promise, please tell me."
Silence.
"I overheard a conversation once..." she began, her tone a whisper. "... between Walter and Master..." she went silent as someone walked by us. "... I understood he was... locked up before meeting Sir Integra."
I stopped in front of her.
"Locked up?"
"Yes."
"What do you mean locked up?"
"I am not sure... he was punished—locked up, I heard."
"Why?" Silence. "... tell me everything you know..."
"This is all I know, I swear it."
"Damn it—for how long—how long ago was this!" A shrug from her. "... why did he get locked up, Seras..."
Silence.
"Seras!"
"I don't want to worry you if I am wrong—."
"Tell me!--I haven't been sleeping anyways, damn it!--true or false at least is something!" I sighed, trying to control myself. "... what did you hear..."
"I think... it was because he became... restless..."
Silence.
Out of control? Oh no...
"God, Seras... what if she thinks—."
"Yes, this is why I remembered the conversation."
"What the hell did he get himself into—I'll kill him!"
Silence. I am not liking this. Not one bit.
"Please, girl I can't look for him... try and find him and if you do, let me know ok?..."
"Ok, I'll go now."
She walked closer to me and gave me a hug. I watched her jog away into the mansion.
This vampire will be the end of me.
I opened my eyes, the mild darkness of my room telling me I was already late. My sleep was not getting any better. Still nothing from the vampire; not a word or thought. Just silence... and lots of nightmares. Since I left Hellsing's office after that damn scolding, I hadn't seen him. I rested on my side, not wanting to get up.
"Alucard?.." I whispered into the empty room.
Silence.
"Please answer..."
More silence.
"Just tell me if you're ok... that's all I need..."
Nothing.
A tickle from the corner of my eye, traveling down to the bed, announced another tear being shed for him. I sniffled unconsciously. Then another sniffle.
"Aw, how sweet... she cries for the corpse..."
I sat up in one second with a gasp, recognizing the playful purr. He was sitting beside me, like I have seen him do many times before; legs crossed at the ankles, hands intertwined on his lap.
My reaction; a glare.
"I told you to tell me how it went!" Yes, I'm yelling.
"I wanted you to miss me..."
"You are—." I punched him a few times on his chest and arm. "--I hate you..."
"Everyone is getting so worked up for the vampire... hmm..."
"Seras is also worried!" I kicked him.
"And you milady?"
"What do you think!"
"What a dear..."
"Shit..." I whispered, still not believing the scare he gave me. "... so what did she do to you?"
"Well... I'm being starved again."
"Oh, man... thank you god..."
"Well... it is not fun to be hungry—."
"It's better than being—." I stopped. Damn me and my big mouth.
Silence.
"How well informed are we, hm?"
"Please... I wasn't supposed to tell you—don't say anything to her."
"I know..." a neutral tone in his voice.
Silence.
"You scared me Alucard..." I whispered sweetly. I felt his nose rubbing against my neck, smelling my concern for him. I smiled a little, and in one movement, I brought him down to rest on the bed; his face stuck to my skin, his body over mine. I tugged at his coat, his answer always the same; a click of his tongue mocking me, and his extra clothes disappearing. That feathering always felt so nice.
"Did she really believe the rape thing?..." I whispered.
"Of course not... but she had nothing to prove the contrary..."
"I don't care what's in her head; you're safe and I'm here..."
"I can assure you... worse things have happened here, that go against her god..."
"Don't tell me... this place scares me sometimes... too many secrets..." Silence. "... damn she was pissed at you... she's so scary..." he chuckled at this. "... I don't care how many people you've impaled... that will never win against her glare..." we chuckled some more. "... I bet you taught her that too..."
"No, I will give her complete credit for that..."
"Well, I guess she had to develop the 'icy glare' to go against that 'hot stuff glare' of yours..."
"Oh... good to know it still works."
I kicked him playfully.
"I wonder then... why am I still here..." I asked in a whisper still. "... if she knew about what we did; if she thinks I'm so crazy out there, why am I still here... with a squad of my own..?"
"Hm..."
"Are you doing this?"
"No..."
"Then?"
He shifted his position to rest on his back, beside me. Silence. I wasn't sure if there would be an answer, but it didn't hurt to wait.
"Integra's strength is not paperwork, my dear..." he purred playfully. "... but, it is something that has to be done; came with the job..."
Silence.
"She comes from a lineage of hunters; the chase, the thirst for battle is in her... but then again, she sits at her desk every night and does mountains of paperwork... while you, draga mea, go to battle."
His eyes were on me now. I turned to him. Is this an answer?
"... my routine reports became somewhat centered on your doings, not because of me—well it is normal at first when soldiers are new to the job—but time passed... I remember saying something about it..." he sighed. "... she almost threw her letter opener at me, so I learned my lesson..."
"... your point is..."
"The police girl is... the police girl; no one she could relate to in battle—not because Integra thinks badly of her, before milady says anything—."
"How well you know me corpse, go on..."
He chuckled. He came closer to my ear.
"You two are more similar than you think..." he whispered. "... you disobey failed orders in battle, trusting your judgment. I have seen her do the same in her battlefield... against bureaucracy and the such..." I felt him smirk against my ear. "... but then again she wants to join the men out there—or even you... and you my dear, judging by our conversations, would like to sit at that round table and give them a piece of your mind..."
So this is it?
"Envy, is not the word for either of you; she wishes silently, deep within her, for your freedom... and you, for her power and influence..."
Silence.
"Two almost opposite roles; so opposite that could complement one another. Two roles that could be successfully executed by either of you, because there is enough strength in you and in her to do so..." he finished with a half grin.
Silence. I kind of wasn't expecting this.
How crazy am I to think that maybe, just maybe, she would've wanted to be in that library with him?
"She breaks molds... just as you do... only she has her way and you have your own..."
Silence. I looked at him sadly again.
"Again, that thing in your eyes when you speak of her..." I whispered.
He half smirked.
"Not long ago I heard the same from her lips... while speaking of you..."
Thump in my stomach.
"Do not forget now I have been speaking about both of you, milady..."
Silence.
My hand slid under his hair, my fingers tangling with it. I kissed his forehead, my lips lingering on his cool flesh. He brought my legs over his, pulling me closer to him. Again, one of those moments we have; he's not a cuddling teddy bear or anything even close to it, so I savor moments like these; especially when there is no real reason behind it.
Anger touched my heart. In that moment, I felt... that if he had been locked up... I would've brought this whole manor down. His nose came back to my neck, inhaling my anger mixed with concern. I felt his face rub against me like a feline, a soft purr coming from his throat... and then his hoarse whisper...
"When you smell like this... I can't help but want to make love to you..."
Thump number two.
Make... love...? He used this term almost figuratively once... but never again after that.
His body shifted, coming over mine, his lips kissing his way to meet my lips. It took a bit of me to kiss him back. This is the man or... whatever, I just felt I would bring this place down for, if he was hurt... who wants to make love to me...
But then… why do I fear that word coming out of his lips?
Next chappy: the official last chap. After that, an Afterword will come. So it is technically 2 more chaps. DON"T KILL MEEEE PLSSS!
Again, cookies are a girl's best friend :D
