Disclaimers: See the first chapter.

Snippets From the Potterverse

Chapter 16 - The Attic, Part 1 - The Glittery, Gay Past

Grimmauld Place was indeed a boring place.

Countless hours of scrubbing, unpleasantly reminiscent of last summer, had bored Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny to tears. Even worse, with Fred and George off every day to the joke shop, they had to do the twins' share of work as well. Sometimes the adults helped, but not very often. Mundungus was prone to hiding or running away when he saw the cleaning implements removed from their cupboard, and Sirius and Remus always made the excuse of house-hunting'. But after months of house-hunting', they were still living at Grimmauld Place, so Harry suspected they did less house-hunting than they did renting out hotel rooms for a quick shag.

It wouldn't have bothered him as much if they would just help with the cleaning.

But for once, the two men were actually helping out. It had finally come time to clean the attic, Kreacher's favourite haunt. Oblivious to Hermione's protests, Sirius locked Kreacher in a broom cupboard with no food or water.

He helped try to kill me, was his only explanation.

So that was why Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, found himself knee-deep in dust, dead spiders, and boxes of Lord-Knows-What. He sifted vainly through box after box of old Chocolate Frog cards, some of which were very old, all of which featured only Dark wizards. Ron and Sirius were having fun throwing all kinds of china things into the rubbish sacks; Remus had stumbled upon a mountain of old books and was now apparently trying to read them all in under an hour; and Hermione and Ginny were involved in one section of the attic which seemed to be nothing but clothes that belonged to Sirius' older female relatives.

Harry tossed a pile of cards featuring Herpo the Foul into the wastebasket. As he did, Remus pulled a sixth book out of the mountain, opened it, and cried, Siri! It's your old photo album!

Sirius exclaimed, abandoning the china and clambering over boxes to get to Remus. Harry, come look! I bet I've got pictures of your mum and dad in here!

Curious, Harry and his friends joined the ex-convict and the werewolf to peer at the photographs.

They blanched. Harry felt faint.

The first picture was of Sirius and James, dressed entirely in form-fitting leather and satin, their faces smeared with spangly makeup.

And they were kissing.

Ummmm... ewww, Ron managed. Harry clung to a low beam to stay upright.

It's not that bad, Sirius chuckled. It was an April Fools joke.

He turned the page. This time, his younger self was dressed in black leather and leopard prints. James was wearing a truly awful combination of blue and green, and he had Lily sitting on his lap. They all tried not to look at her horrid skirt, which was electric pink and so short you could catch a peek at her panties.

The third picture was truly disturbing - Peter Pettigrew in tight, purple, spandex pants.

The fourth was a picture of Sirius and Remus, wearing white silk and feather boas. Kissing.

I thought you said it was an April Fools joke! Harry yelled at his godfather.

Me and Jim kissing was. We used to dress like this all the time, Sirius said fondly, running a finger along the edge of the photo. My Moony was the epitome of gorgeous in silver eyeliner.

Harry fainted.