Disclaimers: See the first chapter.
Snippets From the Potterverse
Chapter 17 - The Attic, Part 3 - Mystery Box
After restoring Sirius' lovely hair to normal, the cleaning of the attic was resumed. The pile of rubbish sacks was growing, and Harry could just imagine Kreacher, several floors below, fighting to get out of the cupboard to put a stop to it all.
The cleaning took three days. Everyone avoided putting on clothes or opening picture albums. Remus cried and clung to Sirius' leg until his lover promised not to throw away any reading material; Ron was reduced to hiding behind a large, stuffed hippogriff head as Harry squashed a spider which had jumped out at him; Hermione and Ginny soon became engaged in a furious fight with an ugly, mustard-yellow leisure suit which refused to leave its wardrobe. Finally, everything had been cleared out and scrubbed as clean as an attic could be.
They thought everything undesirable had been cleaned out; the windows at either end of the attic shone; the dust, bugs, spiders, and random creatures infesting the place were gone; and the attic had been successfully converted into a reading room of sorts, with bookcases and wardrobes holding books and several chairs and cushions scattered around to sit on.
It looks great, Harry said, wiping his forehead on his arm. I can't believe it only took us three days.
Well, who's up for baths before supper? Sirius asked cheerfully.
Everybody chorused, moving towards the trapdoor.
Hey, look at this, Remus said.
He was holding a box. It was sealed shut with Spellotape, and it wasn't labeled. The others crowded around.
It's a mystery box! Ginny said, awed.
I wonder what's inside? Harry asked as Remus shook the box carefully. Something slid back and forth inside.
It's not labeled, Hermione observed.
Remus handed it to Sirius, who slit the Spellotape with his wand. He opened the flaps carefully, as if he expected something to explode or jump out and bite his nose.
Nothing happened. They all peered inside.
It was a rock. A pain, ordinary rock.
It's just a rock, Harry said, disappointed. He had been hoping for something interesting or even the teensiest bit dangerous.
Huh. I wonder why this is here? Sirius shrugged.
Good evening. I'm a talking rock, the rock said. But the rocks around here don't talk very much, it added, as they all stared at it in disbelief.
You know, not many rocks talk, the rock mused, as they stared at it, dumbfounded. Most of them choose to stay silent. I wonder why that is? Say, it was really nice of you to open this box for me. It was getting pretty stuffy. After ten years of being stuck in an attic, it really gets stuffy, you know? Say, you look familiar, he addressed Sirius. You must be a relative of the person who owned this house, am I right? Grumpy bloke, he was. All he did was yell. Didn't like me much. Had kids. Hated one of em, said he was a good-for-nothing, boy-shagging, makeup-wearing idiot (Sirius turned bright red), but he loved the other one... wonder what happened to him? I think he died... his wife stuck me up here... ten years I've been up here, with no one to talk to....
THREE HOURS LATER
Grimmauld Place was not silent that night. No one could sleep, because the rock kept talking.
...And then this bloke comes to visit, ugly thing, reminded me of a rhino... he says, he says, Hey! Where'd this troll leg umbrella stand come from? And he tried to buy it... but we weren't selling... and one time... the shingles were rotting off the roof... so I tried to give advice on how to repair them... but everybody told me to shut up! How do you like that? I thought it was awfully rude, you know? I mean, everybody has the right to their own opinion, even talking rocks, and I told them, I said, I deserve to go to the Ministry and tell them what I think!' So....
Harry moaned. He and Ron had tried putting their pillows over their heads, but nothing worked. The rock was too loud.
The Minister sent a letter back saying he didn't believe talking rocks existed....
Sirius groaned and got out of bed. He put on his jeans and went downstairs. The rock seemed pleased when he approached. Hey, what's up? Sirius scooped up the rock without answering, and stuck it in the pocket of his leather jacket. He grabbed his keys and left the house, then mounted his motorcycle.
Where are we going? A ride? This sounds like fun! the rock said happily. It chatted busily for twenty minutes as Sirius drove to a nearby waterfront.
I love the ocean, the rock babbled as Sirius got off the bike and took it out of his pocket. The waves... the smell... hey, what are you dooooooiiiinggg???
Sirius pitched the rock as far out to sea as he could. There was a faint splash as the rock fell into the water. Smiling, Sirius mounted his bike once more and headed for home.
At the bottom of the sea, the rock sighed. Why doesn't anybody like me?
