A/N: Most profound thanks to Gamlain Gabriel Chere, a dear friend of Jikkan-chan's, for his gracious and well-timed help with just about every aspect of this story—and most especially for the very best review Jikkan-chan has ever been given (Arashi-chan turned so red she glowed! ).

kyoukan—sympathy; empathy; response.

Ai to seigi no seerafuku bishojou senshi—literally, 'love and justice's sailor-suited beautiful soldier'. A mainstay of Sailormoon's entry speech in battle.


Aika no Tsuki

A Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon fanstory by Arashinobara Jikkankakyoku

II—Kyoukan


Somewhere far away, a young woman jerked awake as her blue eyes, still heavy with sleep, registered pain and shock and abandonment.

"Hime… Serenity-hime…" she murmured, suddenly awake. The pain rippled through her again, an air of sadness to it even as the blonde scrabbled out from under the covers and kicked a white cat awake. Unapologetic, she weathered his indignant sputters as she looked out of her window to see the dark London sky.

"The moon's face is hidden," she spoke quietly, silencing the hissing cat. "Artemis, Serenity is in pain."

"She is Sailormoon; she must get into scrapes every once in a while—" the white feline reassured her, his confident tone belying the faint worry in his eyes.

"No, Arty, she's in pain." She pressed her right hand to her breast, trying to alleviate the echo of her mistress' feelings. If she, thousands of miles away from her princess, felt this—and through a half-forgotten bond at that—she couldn't even begin to imagine what Serenity was currently experiencing.

She shoved herself forcibly away from the window, eyes determined. Grabbing things at random, she slipped them into her sub-space pocket despite Artemis' protests. "Her soul is practically screaming—she needs me and I need to make sure she feels better!"

Artemis paused mid-scold before sighing and doing what he could to help. "She has Luna," he offered half-heartedly even as he dragged his charge's favourite orange shirt toward her before running to retrieve a short denim skirt.

She accepted both with a slight smile. "Artemis, as much as I loved and love Luna, she is still a cat. She cannot soothe Serenity with a hug and rock her to sleep, nor can she understand my Princess's agony like I do, as their bond still sleeps." She resumed tossing things at random through the portal and into the sac of space. "I can get to the jet and get Jeffries to fly me over to Tokyo and use the bond to track Serenity down."

"If he is a responsible adult, this 'Jeffries' will never agree to it. Even if he does, what about your parents? You'll need money to navigate around Tokyo, a place to stay…"

"I'm the one who writes out his pay check," she told the cat acidly. "The shooting for this latest Sailor V movie is over, and a quick phone message to the producer and my lawyer will ensue that royalties and salaries will stop going into my parents' pockets and into my bank account, the way they should."

Artemis opened his mouth as if to argue further before shutting it with an audible click of teeth. He bowed his head in acquiescence and as she finally finished her 'packing', he nudged her henshin wand to her with the tip of his nose, receiving a gratified smile in response before she held it aloft.

"Venus Power, Make-up!"


Usagi yawned behind her hand and rummaged dutifully for her clean school uniform. Rei and Makoto had eventually rousted them out of the freezing shower and herded both cat and mistress to bed, whereupon Luna had promptly curled up on the listless bunny's chest and refused to move. She'd stayed there all night, her cool little nose tucked under Usagi's chin, and purred as hard as she could, warm and soothing.

It'd been very kind of her kitty to do that. She'd never realised just how long and lonely the night could be when you couldn't—didn't dare?—sleep.

Such a long, long time until the dawn.

Socks, under things, skirt, blouse… she reached for her brooch on the nightstand—

"Ah!"

—snatched her hand back, and wondered if it really had burnt under her touch, or if she'd just imagined it.

She reached for it again, slowly, warily, and wondered half-hysterically if it would grow fangs and bite her.

Her fingers wrapped around it.

Murderer.

It was cold as ice.

She swallowed hard, and gripped it so tightly her knuckles went white.

'It's the truth. Why deny the truth?'

She pinned the brooch on with shaking fingers.

Soldier. Do your duty.

"Hai," she said softly, and went downstairs to fetch her shoes.


She was halfway to the garden gate when Luna cornered her.

"And just where do you think you're going?" her guardian demanded, half-annoyed, half-gentle.

"…school," Usagi said softly.

"Not today, you aren't," the black cat informed her. "Today you're turning right around and getting back in bed."

"…but I've never played hooky before —"

"—and you aren't now. I've already called your school, and they are aware that your guardian while your parents and little brother are away has decided you are too ill to attend lessons and that it would be better if you missed this half-day."

Usagi's mouth worked soundlessly for a moment. Under any other circumstances, she would've been ecstatic to miss school, but after last night…she needed a distraction from her guilt, her failure, her grief.

Luna regarded her with a kind but determined eye. Yet again, she would not be moved.

The schoolgirl slumped in acquiescence and trudged back into the house.

She was too tired to argue.


Luna followed the trail of abandoned clothing up the stairs and into Usagi's room, where she found her charge curled into foetal position, staring blankly out the window, something clutched in one hand.

The Tsukino Neko leapt softly onto the bed. "What's that, Usagi-chan?" She patted the white-knuckled fist gently with one paw.

Usagi's fingers uncurled to show the brooch, stained red with blood from the cuts in her palms she had inflicted with her nails.

Luna wanted to cry. "Oh, Usagi-chan…" She nudged the brooch out of the way and bent to lick the wounds clean, purring reassuringly. 'My poor little kitten.' "Please, Usagi-chan, nobody blames you. It wasn't your fault. Please…"

"It told the truth, Luna," Usagi said softly.

Luna took a bit of one of the sheets in her teeth and pulled it over Usagi's hand, lying down over Usagi's palm and the sheet to blot the cuts. "What did it say, kit?"

"It said I was a murderer." Her voice was soft, childlike. Luna shuddered and fluffed her fur to ward off the chill.

"Then it lied, kitten," she said gently, firmly, and licked Usagi's cheek.

"But it didn't lie. It said I was a soldier. Aren't I a soldier? Ai to seigi no…"

"…Seerafuku bishoujo senshi," Luna finished softly. "You fight for Love and Justice, and no liege-lord could be prouder."

"Why would they be proud of me? I killed that poor old man…"

"He was already dead, little moonbeam. He'd been dying for a long, long time."

"…but I was the one who made it happen…"

"Shhh," Luna hushed her charge. "You stopped him from becoming a murderer himself, Usa-chan. No-one could have done anything more. He was dead from the instant Zoicite turned him into a monster—all you did was free him from his darkness and his pain."

"I should've been able to fix him…. That's what—that's what the Moon Stick is for, to make it all better but I wasn't good enough…"

"Hush now," Luna said firmly. "I have never asked you for miracles, Usagi-chan, and I never will. It would only break your heart, and mine. The Moon Stick is for that, true, but it's nothing without the Ginzuishou, and the Maboroshi no Ginzuishou will work for no-one but the Moon Princess. Only the Princess could have saved that man, and it would have been at the cost of her own life."

Usagi was silent.

Luna sighed deeply and began to wrestle with the sheet again, somehow managing to pull it up to her kit's naked shoulders. "Sleep now, Usa-chan," she whispered, curling into a warm ball against Usagi's throat, under her chin. "Not sleeping only makes you feel worse."

Lulled by Luna's melodic purr, Usagi at last allowed herself sleep.


"Absolutely not!" Luna spat. "She needs her rest!"

The guardian cat sat back on her haunches, red eyes narrowed and long tail lashing powerfully. She faced three stubborn-looking girls, her—for lack of a better term—lesser charges. Rei stepped forward first, chin tilted defiantly. "A little bit of normality will go a long way, I think. The arcade—and some Motoki—will be a huge help!"

Luna bared her teeth and the crescent moon on her forehead glowed eerily, causing the Senshi of Mars to take a step back in alarm. "And what if a certain bakayarou decides to step in and ruin everything!" she snapped rhetorically. "I hardly call Chiba Mamoru the kind of normality she needs!"

Ami knelt so she could look the feline properly in the eye. "Luna-san," the bluenette stated, tagging on the formal address to indicate she understood that the cat had seniority above them all, "Mamoru-san is really not that bad. He is a good person—it's just that he and Usagi 'got off on the wrong foot'. I'm sure if we explain that she's going through a hard time that he'll stop picking on her. If Mamoru-san can get her to think that he doesn't blame her for…well, existing, then Usagi will realise that even her so-called worst enemy is on her side."

Luna faltered for a moment, and Makoto seized the opportunity to add her two bits in. "Besides, if anyone so much as looks at her the wrong way, I'll pummel 'em, pummel 'em some more, zap them and then—"

"I get the point, Makoto-chan," Luna sighed. Rei jumped in again.

"Mamoru might not even be there, Luna-san," she soothed the cat. "Onegai, onegai, let Usagi-chan come with us to the arcade!"

Luna let out a vicious hiss, her back arching angrily, before stalking back indoors through the cat flap to wake her slumbering charge. "Very well, but I willcome along, and should anyone even think of hurting her, I'll claw—his—eyes—out!"

The three schoolgirls fidgeted anxiously on the doorstep. "Do you think we should just stay here, or go over to the Hikawa Jinja?" Rei asked, uncharacteristically nervous. "I brought my manga over, just in case…"

"I took notes for her in class," Ami offered, pulling out a set of photocopied sheets covered with her neat, easily legible hand.

"I brought some snacks along, even though we can just order food," Makoto finished. "I don't know, though…admit it, we never even considered Mamoru."

"Mamoru-kun is okay," Rei said with a toss of her black hair, violet eyes glinting. Her next sentence was nearly inaudible to her fellow senshi's ears. "He better be…"

Makoto cracked her knuckles with anticipation. "I hear he's a black belt in karate and can beat his sensei!" she almost cackled. "It should be a good fight!"

"Mamoru-san wouldn't hit a girl," Ami scolded her companions. "And I think you are missing the point. We are thinking of Usagi, not picking fights with her, ah, nemesis." She sighed. "That said, I agree with you completely. If he so much as puts a toe out of line…my mother is a doctor, and she teaches me a few things." The normally gentle-tempered senshi of ice smiled grimly. "Those who know how to stitch you together also know how to tear you apart!"

Rei and Makoto blinked warily at a suddenly dangerous-looking Ami. "H-hai," they chorused.

"Minna-chan?" Usagi appeared at the door in a knee-length black skirt and slightly wrinkled white blouse, swaying faintly. "What are you doing here?"

"Usagi-chan!" they heard Luna bawl. "You forgot your coat!" The cat appeared in the hallway, tugging a light, pink windbreaker behind her.

Usagi scooped up her guardian and hugged her tightly, pausing the cat's fussing for a moment. "Arigatou, Luna-chan," she murmured. "But where am I going?"

"To the arcade!" Makoto grinned cheerfully, masking her shock at Usagi's appearance. The petite blonde's hair was mussed and tangled; she had obviously slept with it up in the 'odango' style. Dark bruises marred the skin under dulled cerulean eyes, but they began to twinkle faintly as she saw her friends and their show of support.

"Arigatou," she repeated, "but why?"

"You need to get some fresh air," Ami told her best friend briskly, also trying to conceal her worry at how Usagi looked. "It'll do you good."

"I'm not sick," Usagi told them flatly. "I'm perfectly fine." She paused, biting her lip until she drew blood. "I'm perfectly fine," she insisted, the sparkle dying once more. Everyone knew what she was thinking.

But Ensei-san isn't.

Luna twined herself around Usagi's legs, purring gently. "Usagi-chan, you're fine, ne? Then go out, enjoy yourself."

Usagi opened her mouth to say something, something black and ugly flashing across her face before it vanished, leaving her looking more worn and unhappy than ever. "Okay," she muttered, trudging into a pair of sandals.

Rei stopped her for a moment and undid Usagi's buns gently. Reaching a little guiltily into her sub-space pocket (and shooting an embarrassed glance at Luna as she did so), the dark-haired miko withdrew a hairbrush and tidied her friend's hair swiftly. Usagi nodded to her in absent thanks as the last knot became untangled, and they steered her out the door.


Having run ahead of the girls, the black cat panted, tongue lolling briefly before she realised that she looked like a common mutt off the streets. Reasserting her usual dignified demeanour, Luna looked around carefully to make sure no one was watching. As she did so, she crept behind the Sailor V game and pressed a hidden button.

A tile on the floor flickered and she put a single paw on it. "Identification code, please," a mechanical voice whispered breathily.

"Kitty-catnips-mouse," she stated clearly, inwardly cringing at the horrible pun.

"Voice key; correct. Identification mark; correct. Identification code; correct. Agent one recognised."

Stepping fully onto the panel, Luna felt the fur on her body stand on end as the tile glowed a dim silver and she bounded to the chair in the middle, working the console hastily.

"Central," she snapped, trembling. "Come in, Central."

There was no answer.

Shocked and frightened, Luna buried her face in her paws before trying again. "Central, come in Central, this is Luna, come in." As the silence stretched, she typed in another code before speaking again, desperation evident in her tone. "Agent Two; Artemis, this is Agent One; Luna. Come in, Artemis, come in." She wasn't even sure if he had even been awakened, but it was a definite possibility. Her voice cracked as she tried one last time. "Agent Two; Artemis, this is Agent One; Luna. Come in, Agent Two, come in."

She slumped against the console as static met her ears. "No one there," she whispered despairingly. "No one there… however shall they help my kit?"

Her head snapped up and she exited the Sailor V game, praising the fact that due to the time distortion inside it, only a few seconds had passed outside, and no civilians had seen a small cat's strange behaviour. Pluto's doing, she was sure. Nevertheless, she should get back to her kit and accompany her for the rest of the way to the arcade. Pausing to inhale deeply, she caught sight of a shock of black hair at the counter.

Chiba Mamoru.

Her red eyes narrowed menacingly. 'If you hurt her, I swear by Selene's name you will regret it with all your heart, mind and soul.' She turned to leave the arcade, lithe body breaking into a sprint so that she would not be separated from Usagi any longer. 'And the sad thing is, I will not even need to hurt you. You will have lost her all on your own, and that, my Terran fiend, is the worst punishment of all.'


Mamoru tugged his coat closer around him, feeling chilled and miserable despite the warmth and cheer of the brightly lit arcade. Motoki set another cup of unsweetened coffee in front of his best friend, gold-green eyes concerned as he stared blatantly at the faint shadows under the dark-haired junior's eyes. Mamoru lifted his dark blue eyes, eyelids drooping even as he glared at the arcade manager. "Take a picture," he bit out, eagerly grabbing the coffee to inhale deeply before taking a sip.

"You'd know I'd never waste camera film on your ugly face," Motoki teased, even as he drizzled chocolate syrup over someone's double fudge sundae. He handed it to the boy, who looked to be about ten or so, and rummaged about the cashier for some change.

Mamoru couldn't help but smirk at Motoki despite his tiredness, and the blond man coloured faintly before sighing. "And yes, that's in spite of the deluded mobs of girls who have formed fan clubs in your name."

"Speaking of which, has the Odango been in earlier?" Mamoru knew she couldn't have—he didn't have any classes on Saturday, and so had waited at the street corner where the blonde girl would usually crash into him for nearly an hour before returning to his apartment to grab his psychology text—a convenient excuse for staking out the arcade. Motoki gave him a funny look, and Mamoru took another sip of his coffee to hide his warm cheeks.

"Iie, she hasn't," Motoki seemed ready to continue, but an impatient ring of the service bell had him scurrying to see what the greying woman wanted.

Mamoru sighed, his good mood swiftly fading. He stared moodily at his hands, turning them over and over. These hands had conjured many a rose, saved many a life, thrown many a punch and warded off many a blow, especially in his 'career' as Tuxedo Kamen… but these hands could not ease a stricken girl's grief. They could not wipe away her tears, nor could they reverse his death.

He watched with detached interest as the tan hands balled into fists, veins standing out starkly, before relaxing and curling back around the coffee mug. Mamoru was an intern in the hospital that had been attacked yesterday and Ensei Yamu, the victim, had been a good friend of his. Yamu's last family member had died years ago, and he was alone. Being an orphan, Mamoru could sympathise with the somewhat gruff-spoken man.

Still, the depth of pain Mamoru felt at Yamu's death was surprising. The dark-haired intern had often been called in to assist and calm the older man down when he had suffered one of his numerous heart attacks, as emphysema patients were wont to do. Mamoru had often seen how Yamu had given up, and when about to sleep for the final time, was somehow brought back from the brink.

"I just want to rest," Yamu had told Mamoru while recovering from a particularly bad episode. "I want to see my wife and my sons again. I want to get out of this sterile hellhole that keeps me in a world where I am just so much waste of space."

Yamu would have been glad to die, and die a blessed death as the evil in his soul was cleansed. Mamoru reached into his coat pocket, fingering the cold crystal he found. Yamu's last gift to him…whoever would have thought that Ensei Yamu, who had been one of Tokyo General Hospital's long-term residents for over six years, could have been a nijizuishou carrier?

Mamoru took another swig of his coffee as the muddle of grief and numb sadness sitting like a dead weight in his chest gave a particularly unhappy twinge. He was spoiling for a fight, and who better to fight than the Odango Atama? His heart lifted slightly as he thought of the bubbly blonde, and a genuine smile spread across his face. "Yes," he murmured aloud, the sound of his own voice startling him a little. Tsukino Usagi could be just what he needed to distract himself from this horrible choking feeling inside him. Mamoru ignored the guilt pooling in his stomach as he rubbed his eyes wearily.

Motoki plopped down on a stool next to him even as he waved for his sister, Furuhata Unazuki, to take over at the counter and cashier for him. Mamoru closed his eyes as he felt a hand clap him roughly on the shoulder. "Mamoru-kun, daijoubu?" the concerned blond asked.

"Daijoubu," he replied firmly, deciding that now would be about the right time to take out his psychology text again. Motoki could be relentless in questioning and mothering Mamoru, and the seventeen-year-old wanted to avoid triggering 'Motoki-kaasan syndrome' for as long as possible. The arcade doors slid open, bells jingling cheerfully as he dropped the heavy book onto the counter. The corners of his lips turned up in a sardonic smile as he read the chapter heading. "Common Responses to Death, eh?" he muttered. His eyes hardened. "They can shove those 'Common Responses' up their a—"

"Usagi-chan!" Motoki sang, swivelling on the stool next to him. Mamoru bit back the obscenity he had been about to use and resisted the urge to throw his hands up in jubilation. She was here! Now, he could get some Odango-therapy. He always felt better after some good-natured bickering.

"Kon'wa, Motoki-niichan," a soft voice mumbled. Oh, so the Odango'd had a bad day, now? All the better, her blood was always up after she'd failed a test—

"Usagi-chan!" Motoki shot up off the stool and grabbed the startled-looking girl, ignoring the threatening hiss of the black cat sprawled over her right shoulder. He brushed the angry feline off, poking and prodding the tiny blonde to make sure she wasn't injured before dragging her over to the counter and signalling to Unazuki that his break was going to take a little longer than anticipated. The cat looked about to savage Motoki right there and then, but was halted mid-leap by a casual grab courtesy of Makoto.

"Ano… we'll just get a booth first and try to calm her down, ne?" the Amazon laughed slightly. Rei and Ami signalled that they'd go with her and get drinks from Unazuki, respectively, and Motoki waved absently as he fired question after question at an emotionless-looking Usagi.

"What happened, why are you sad, did someone say something mean, did someone die, do you want something to eat?" Motoki inhaled deeply before lifting her bodily and plunking her on the stool next to Mamoru's. "Don't bother answering that last, because you're eating anyway, you're too pale…" he hovered anxiously. "What do you want? Should I get you a bit of everything?"

Usagi, who had stiffened at Motoki's barrage of questions, relaxed minutely. "Iie, Motoki-niichan," she murmured, folding her arms on the counter and laying her head on them. "I'm fine."

"You certainly don't look fine, Odango," Mamoru interjected bluntly, unable to pass up the opportunity to needle his worst enemy. 'Come on, fight back, Odango! I went easy on you with that one; surely you can come up with better?'

Usagi lifted her head to look at Mamoru, and he felt that niggling bit of guilt again before pushing it forcibly to the back of his mind. His sapphire eyes lit with anticipation for the first time that day, but faltered slightly as they met blank, almost opaque-looking turquoise. 'Where have I seen that before?' The little blonde's emotions were almost always embarrassingly easy to read in her eyes, but now…. Desperate to goad some kind of reaction out of her, he pressed on, ignoring the slow burn igniting slowly in his chest. "What's wrong? You've never been this upset about failing a test before." 'Respond, damn you!' he wanted to shout, even as the churning in his gut intensified. Suddenly sick at his words and actions, he closed his eyes, rubbing them unhappily.

That was when Motoki's voice spoke up, sounding upset and a little irritated. "Really, Mamoru-kun, give it a rest for today, won't you? Usagi-chan's obviously—"

"I'm still here, you know," she said quietly, looking back down at her palms. Usagi felt a little bit of her old self flare into being before the fire dissipated almost immediately. Mamoru didn't even consider the fact that something worse than failing a test or getting detention could be happening in her life. Numb again, she felt an all-too-familiar pinching sensation at the bridge of her nose. She felt like crying. She felt like screaming. She felt like taking that Mamoru-bakayarou's face and—

– her fingers stilled abruptly, eyes stirring to life with some newfound horror.

'Goddess, Selene, no'

That horrible feeling welling up inside her…

…Selene damn her, she had felt—still felt—like hurting the sneering junior.

Hurting was one step below killing. Just one step. She'd experienced this feeling before, but only now, after blood stained her hands, could she fully understand its darkness.

She felt cold metal beneath her fingers and wondered dumbly when she had reached up to grasp her brooch. It didn't matter now, because it was right. It was right, and Luna and her sisters were wrong.

'I'm a murderer. I can murder again. What if…?'

Mamoru's eyes softened perceptibly. There was no point in taking out his problems on someone as carefree as Odango… even if she didn't look very carefree at the moment. He reached out instinctively, tucking an errant curl behind her ear. "Odang—Usagi," he began gently, hastily correcting himself—no point setting her off while he was trying to make amends, after all. "You know that if something's really wrong, you can come to talk to m—us," his cheeks tinged the slightest bit pink. "I promise I won't pick any fights. What I said earlier was uncalled for, I know, and unnecessary." Deciding that he had exhausted his store of sensitivity for the day, he tried to break the ice with a joke. "Just promise you won't kill me if I slip up or something, okay?"

That was enough. Usagi stood abruptly, silvery tears splashing angrily down her colourless cheeks as she exited the arcade with a fluttering heart, her fingers clenching and unclenching uselessly at her sides before she broke into a run.

It didn't matter that Mamoru hadn't meant the words to come out the way she took them. All that mattered was that she had killed someone already, and she didn't want to see that strange, earnest emotion his dark blue eyes had held as he tried, awkwardly, to comfort her.

She ignored the call of her sisters, the cry of her guardian. She ignored Motoki's plea, Unazuki's concerned inquiry. She ignored all but her flight, and the way the wind whispered spitefully in her ears.

Murderer, it seemed to sneer. Murderer, it accused.

Usagi closed her eyes as her frenzied flight dried her tears on her cheeks. They snapped open again as she heard the sound of a car horn alarmingly close to her.

I know, she told it, not sure if she actually said the words out loud. I know.

The screech of brakes and a panicked shout drowned out the wind's reply.