Dear Nene,
Keiko's gone. She's lost inside me.
I was running with a kite a few days ago, and I transformed, but when I closed my solid mind and opened up my ghost, she was taken in, and now I can't find her.
Everyone's furious with me. And I just feel so bad.
I know that I really didn't know her that much, but she was nice to me. She didn't make little, rude jokes like Yuusuke does about me, and she doesn't—didn't avoid me.
But, none of the others can beat me up as much as I can about it.
Hiei's searched my mind with his Jagan, but it hasn't worked yet, and I've used up all my aspirin.
I just feel plain miserable.
We told Shiori, because she doesn't know about the Reikai Tantei thing, that Keiko got a call on her cell phone and had to take off to Hiroshima to attend to her grandmother. Yet another lie I have to maintain in the eyes of that poor woman.
Even Kurama seems disappointed, like a parent would. Yuusuke gave me a black eye the first night, and knocked me out with a punch to the gut (Kurama seemed disappointed in him too), Kuwabara looked like he wanted to do the same, Kurama just showed his extreme disappointment in me, Genkai won't talk to me, Botan keeps bursting out in sobs. I think Hiei was the only one who didn't express an emotion, but I could tell he felt something about this thing.
I've meditated and had to surpass my level of consciousness' power so I can search for Keiko, but I can never find her.
I can't eat, I barely speak anymore, and if I had been able to sleep in the first place, I'm sure as hell I wouldn't be able to now.
Have I said how bad I feel?
But Shiori notices something. She knows Kurama and I have been awfully quiet, and that I don't eat. She sees how much aspirin I've been taking after Hiei searches me.
I so want to come clean. I don't want to lie any longer. But I'm afraid I have to. I'm too afraid of everything.
Sayonara,
Kawa
Kawa pulled her knees to her chest and rested her cheek on the wall, willing herself not to cry. If no one else could find Keiko, it was up to her. But where was she supposed to go? When could this kind of thing happened before, and if it had, where could information like this be archived?
"Why couldn't I have just died?" she found herself asking aloud. She averted her gaze to the pale, thin scars on her arms, the only remainder from a life she had tried to destroy, but had backfired. She hated these feelings in her stomach and still having breath to keep words trapped in her throat and die on her tongue, to be buried by her mind as topics not worthy of discussions.
"Kawatta?" someone called out, and she let her knees go so her legs lay out in front of her.
"Go away, Kurama. You might as well pull a Genkai and stop attempting to speak to me," she cried sadly, closing her eyes.
"Stop that pouting; I'm not going to give my shoulder out to cry on," the someone snapped, and she opened her eyes.
"Hiei?" she asked, and the shadows through the window shifted so she could see the demon sitting in the sill, as dark as the braches of the tree outside so very much that he blended in.
"I as well as killed someone," she said in protest to his silent demand for her to stop.
"And a little blood on anyone's hands destroyed their reason. I see what you're so concerned about," the apparition rolled his eyes, sarcasm dripping from his words.
"Bastard," she muttered.
"Baka onna," he retorted.
"I am no where near stupid! The move I made was foolish, I'll admit, but my intelligence plays no part in this, Hiei!" she snarled.
"If you put as much energy into finding Yukimura as you do arguing with me, you might be able to find her," he said, as though his advice was as important as gold.
"And what of you? You weren't able to find her, Mr.All-Mighty-and-Powerful," she rolled her eyes.
"I never said that my abilities were greater than anyone else's, I'm just stronger than you."
"I don't have to listen to this," Kawa said loudly, and stood up, walking off.
"Try to sleep tonight is my only advice," Hiei muttered just loud enough for her to hear, just as she slammed her door. Whether she heard or listened was not his problem.
