Author's Note: The quote below will be continued in subsequent chapters, kk? (WARNING! Slight lemon in this chapter!)
(17) New Moon
"I know you; I walked with you once upon a dream . . ." — song from "Sleeping Beauty" (which is Disney, I think)
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It wasn't until a few hours subsequent to his already late arrival that Ralph finally found Jack. Sounds ridiculously impossible, right?
Wrong!
And why? Well . . .
Number one. Not only did Ralph not recall what Jack's costume looked like, he also forgot what the latter's friends were wearing.
Number two. It was a fairly large gymnasium, so even if he did know what Jack was wearing, finding said teen would be quite difficult.
Number three. The gym was full of so many people, making it much more crowded than it would be during a typical gym lesson.
Number four. Since the swarms were composed of people instead of stationary coconut bras, it meant that they were in constant motion. The people would not stay in one place for more than ten minutes at a time.
Number five. Ralph's rising temper was clouding his mind somewhat.
And that's that.
Glancing at the clock on the wall, Ralph realized that he had only about an hour left to make his presence known to Jack. Having finally found the other teen filled him with hope . . . then anxiety . . . then fear . . . then hesitance. What was he supposed to do?
Ralph weighed his options.
He could go up to Jack, pretend that he was a stranger, and befriend said teen. Then he would reveal himself at midnight.
Or he could go up to Jack, pretend that he was a stranger, and seduce said teen. Then he would reveal himself at midnight.
Or he could avoid Jack completely and confront him at 11:59 p.m. Then he would reveal himself at midnight.
Or he could just content himself with loving Jack at a distance and not reveal himself at midnight.
Ralph sighed and watched his lover from afar. He was far enough to keep a low profile; thus, not attracting any attention from Jack and his group of friends, but close enough to be able to hear his musical voice and see his wonderful smile.
"That's the limit, of course," Ralph thought bitterly, "since that stupid mask is in the way."
"Still, he has good taste."
". . . It is a nice mask."
"What is it, though?"
"I don't know, a rabbit?"
"No, those are horns, not ears."
"A demon then?"
"Yup, that sounds about right?"
'So when are you going to go talk to him?'
Ralph jumped in shock.
'Shit, Eddy, don't sneak up on me like that,' the teen said. 'And how the hell did you know it was me?'
'Who else would look at Jack that way?'
'What way?' Ralph asked, trying to sound indifferent. 'You can't even see my eyes, so how do you know that I'm looking at him in a certain way?'
'I don't have to see your eyes. You wear your heart on your sleeve, as the saying goes,' Eddy said seriously. 'So you had better protect that sleeve.'
'Right. I'll do that,' Ralph said, rolling his eyes.
'So . . . I know that I don't compare to Jack, but would you care for a dance?'
Ralph hesitated and glanced back at Jack, whom was laughing merrily at a joke that Lee had told.
"Every time I see you smile, I fall in love all over again," the teen thought wistfully.
'Sure,' he said to Eddy, trying to push his thoughts of love away. 'I would love to dance.'
'Great! Let's go, muffin!'
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'Oy, look over there!' John exclaimed.
Jack turned to see where his friend was pointing.
'That's Eddy, isn't it?' Fred asked.
'Yeah,' John replied, 'and it looks like he finally found his date.'
The group laughed, for they had seen Eddy walk by earlier, sans his supposed date. They had vaguely wondered if the two had gotten into a fight, but it looked as if it had been resolved now.
'I wonder what the bloke looks like,' Lee said, although it didn't really sound as if he cared.
'Well, you'll just have to find out at midnight, mate,' Terry said.
'Why bother?' Jack asked, watching the dancing pair disappear into the crowd. 'Anyone who would go out with Eddy must be ugly.'
There was a resounded "ooh" from the group.
'Seriously, though,' Jack laughed. 'Eddy's ego is so big that it makes me wonder if anyone can look at him as adoringly as his reflection does.'
'OOH!'
'That was a good burn, man,' Lee complimented him.
'Yeah!' the others agreed simultaneously.
'Am I interrupting something?'
Jack froze and slowly turned around.
'Shit, Cristóbal, I thought that you were Eddy!' He looked at the other teen, as if seeing him in a new light.
'What?' Cristóbal asked curiously.
'Shit, you're wearing the same costume as that guy!' Jack exclaimed, indicating Eddy's dancing partner. 'What were the chances of that happening!'
Cristóbal laughed.
'You're strange, Jack, but I like that.' He held out his hand. 'Are you ready to dance with me now?'
'Well . . .'
'You can't say that you're tired, because I saw you dancing with other guys earlier . . . so will you dance with me? One dance is all I'm asking, and I'm not taking "no" for an answer.'
'Then you pretty much decided my answer for me,' Jack said, feigning irritation. 'On one condition . . .'
'What?'
'Go get me some punch . . .'
'What?' Cristóbal repeated.
'Go get me some punch, please.' Jack sighed dramatically. 'I'm parched, Cristóbal. When you get back, then we'll talk about the whole dancing thing.'
Cristóbal grinned and tapped the other teen lightly on the nose.
'You . . . you . . . you drive me mad! I don't know why, but I plan on using the rest of the night to find out.' And he left to get the drink without another word.
"Ha, I've still got it," Jack thought satisfactorily, stretching his arms behind his head. Then he closed his eyes and leaned back against the bleacher behind him. After all, the refreshment stand was on the other side of the gymnasium. Since Cristóbal had to wind through so many people, he wouldn't be returning for a while.
'He's back!' John exclaimed, surprised.
'Yeah, and without your drink, Jack,' Lee said.
Jack opened his eyes to see that Cristóbal, indeed, was approaching him without his ordered drink.
'Back already?' Jack inquired, sitting up to properly look down at the teen. 'I thought that I said we'd talk after you got me some punch.'
Instead of a snappy comeback, Cristóbal simply didn't say anything. Rather, he held out his hand to Jack.
'So, you still want to dance, eh?' he asked, sounding a lot more confident than he felt.
It was true. He was hesitant to dance with Cristóbal, because he was afraid of what would happen. Twice now, he had found himself in intimate situations with the other teen . . . and twice now, they had been welcomed, even yearned for.
It was a frightening thought, especially since he was still in love with Ralph.
But Cristóbal didn't know that. Presently, he held out his hand more insistently, as if demanding Jack to dance with him.
'Aw, give the guy a break, Jack,' Wendy said.
'He's certainly persistent,' John added.
Jack rolled his eyes; some friends they were.
'Think of it this way, Jack,' Lee muttered into his ear. 'If you dance with the dude, he'll have to leave you alone. He said that it's only one dance, right?'
'Right,' Jack whispered back. Then he turned to Cristóbal. 'Well, seeing as it's near the end of the masque, I suppose that I will have to concede.' He placed his hand in the other teen's. 'Let's go. Or, as you Spanish people said, "Vamos".'
The pair made their way to the dance floor . . . just as a slow song came on.
"Of all the rotten luck," Jack thought. "At least for a faster dance, I could have danced so erratically that he couldn't come near me." He let out an evil laugh.
His companion looked at him strangely, but didn't say anything.
"Okay, let's get this over with," Jack thought when they had arrived at the dance floor. He wrapped his arms around the other teen.
Cristóbal seemed shocked, but still, he said nothing.
"This isn't too bad," Jack thought. "As long as Cristóbal doesn't try anything, I'll be okay."
Time went in slow motion, and for a while, Jack felt as if they were the only two people there.
"I guess that I was nervous for nothing," he said inwardly, and he rested his head on his partner's shoulder. "This isn't bad, not bad at all."
The two spun slowly on the dance floor, and Cristóbal pressed his lips lightly to Jack's neck . . . but stopped there.
"Whew, for a minute there, I thought that he was going to go 'further'."
All too soon, the dance was over and the pair separated once more.
'One dance,' Jack said, having a slight feeling of regret. 'That's all you asked for.'
In reply, Cristóbal took Jack's hand and lifted it to his lips.
'Er . . . Thanks for the dance,' Jack said awkwardly, a bit off-balance from the sudden display of sweetness.
The other teen smiled and bowed gallantly; a chain necklace that was clasped around his neck slipped out from beneath his costume.
Just then, a glint of gold caught Jack's eye.
'What's that?' he asked his companion reaching for the small gold ring that hung from the chain.
The latter hastily stuffed the ring back into his costume.
In the semi-darkness, Jack was unsure, but he could swear that the other teen had mouthed "I love you" before disappearing into the crowd.
"That ring looked familiar," Jack thought as he dazedly made his way back to his friends. "I must have hallucinated back there, because it simply couldn't be . . . could it?"
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A mere four paces away, although separated by a swarm of teenagers, Ralph touched his lips with the tips of his fingers. He couldn't believe that he had just done that. Not only had he approached Jack, but he had also danced with him, had also kissed him. Okay, so not on the lips, but the affection was there.
Ralph decided that the only part that absolutely sucked about their dance was that Jack thought that he was somebody else. Cristóbal, whoever the hell that guy was. The former assumed that it was the same teen whom he had seen speaking with Jack earlier, for he was wearing the same costume that Ralph was.
What were the chances of that happening?
Yes, chance seemed to play a large role in Ralph's life of late. He took a chance when he came to London to see Jack. He took a chance when he danced with Jack. He took a chance when he kissed Jack. He had already taken so many chances, but the sequence was not over yet . . . He was going to take a chance when he revealed himself to Jack.
"It's been so long since I've kissed Jack," Ralph realized, not for the first time. "Seeing him after so many months . . . I just couldn't help myself . . . Jack . . . My Jack . . . Do you still love me? Could you?"
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'Here's your drink.'
Jack looked up to see Cristóbal holding some punch in his hand.
'Sorry it took so long,' the latter apologized.
'Um . . . Thanks,' Jack replied, taking the paper cup drink and sipping it gratefully.
'I guess you owe me that dance now,' the other said with a grin.
Jack stopped drinking and looked at his companion strangely.
'I already did.'
'No, you didn't.'
'Yes, I did.'
'No, you didn't!' Cristóbal repeated.
'Yes, he did,' Lee stepped in. 'We all saw it.'
The others nodded in response and the Spaniard scratched his head in confusion.
'Oh, wait!' John exclaimed gleefully, as if he had just solved the secret of life. 'I know what you're doing. You're telling Jack over here that he didn't give you a dance yet, when—in reality—he did, so as to get another one! Not so sly, man. I figured out your intentions!'
'Huh?' Cristóbal muttered. 'What the hell are you talking about?'
'Whatever,' Jack said, recalling Cristóbal's earlier sweetness. 'I'll dance with him again.' He brushed his hand along the latter's arm. 'You just never give it up, do you?'
Cristóbal shrugged off his confusion and followed Jack onto the dance floor.
And they danced . . .
. . . at least, they started out that way.
Before long, Cristóbal was grinding his hips against Jack's buttocks and as they gyrating sexually to the beat of the music.
"This is certainly different from before," Jack thought, feeling the other's hot breath on his neck. "But I like it!"
His eyes were half-closed as he lost himself to the music (amongst other things, hehe). Despite his hazy gaze, he was able to make out another "dancing" couple. The pair was pressed so tightly together that if they were to move any closer, they'd be behind each other.
"That's hot," Jack thought breathlessly.
The two teens were so lost in each other that one even had his hand down the other's trousers, doubtlessly stroking him to completion. The latter was breathing heavily and his eyes were closed; not a minute later, he gasped with ecstasy. His partner was quick to capture his lips at that very moment in a burning kiss.
'Do you wish to be like them?' Cristóbal murmured into his ear, just loud enough to be heard over the music. 'We could be like them, Jack.' And he licked the sensitive area just behind Jack's ear.
The latter shivered with delight.
'Do you wish to be like them?' Cristóbal said once more.
He brought his hand up under Jack's arm and allowed it to gently cup the latter's face. Then he trailed it downwards . . . He caressed Jack's hard collarbone . . . He tweaked his nipples under the costume . . . He softly stroked his abs . . . And the hand went still lower . . . Then it stopped just at the waistband of Jack's pants.
'Watch them,' Cristóbal demanded softly.
Jack forced his eyes to open entirely. As he watched the others, he imagined that it was he stroking such a lovely, submissive body. Then he imagined himself entering another with all the passion that he possessed. And he imagined them riding out their climax together.
He imagined love.
He hadn't felt this way since Ralph . . .
'Can you feel their passion?' Cristóbal questioned, slipping his hand into Jack's boxers.
The other teen gasped as familiar emotions swept through him.
He didn't want to feel this way with anyone but Ralph . . .
'Can you feel their desire?' The Spaniard gently stroked the other, all the while pushing his own hardness against Jack's buttocks.
. . . but he did.
As if miming the two other teens, Cristóbal kissed his companion just as the latter gave into his climax, and Jack would have become a crumpled heap on the floor if Cristóbal had not caught him.
"I guess that just about completes the almost-sex trilogy," Jack thought. "First, there was the classroom. Then, there was the men's room. Now, the dance floor." And he sighed.
'Come on,' the latter said, apparently assuming that the other teen's sigh was from his weakness. 'Let's get you some air.' Still supporting Jack (although it was probably unnecessary by now), Cristóbal made his way to the nearest exit.
All the while, the pair was unaware that a tearful set of eyes surveyed them as they went. Not long after, the "watcher" followed them.
Cristóbal led the way out of the gymnasium and back into the entrance foyer. It may not have been the fresh air of the outdoors, but it would have to do. Besides, it was close to midnight and he would loathe missing the big "unveiling".
'How are you feeling?' the Spaniard asked his companion with a smile.
'Okay,' Jack replied.
'Good enough to talk?' Cristóbal pulled off his mask to reveal his handsome—although somewhat sweaty—features.
'Don't you know the rules?' Jack teased. 'You're not supposed to take your mask off until midnight.'
'I know,' Cristóbal said seriously, 'but this is important.'
The other teen immediately lost his joking manner.
'What's up?'
Cristóbal shyly looked at the ground.
'Well . . . it's kind of difficult to just come out and say it . . .'
'Just spit it out!' Jack exclaimed. 'You're just postponing it.'
Cristóbal sighed.
'I guess that you're right . . . but, you know, it would help if you lost the mask for a bit.'
Jack laughed.
'Okay, fine.' As he pulled off his mask, he heard a sharp intake of breath. 'What?' he asked. 'Do I look that hideous without the mask?'
'Quite the contrary,' the Spaniard said. 'You're lovely.'
Jack blushed timidly.
'So . . . is that all?'
'No . . . but . . . I . . . it's just . . .' Cristóbal stammered uncomfortably.
'Forget it,' Jack said impatiently, pulling his mask back on. 'If you can't say whatever it is that you want to say, then I'm out of here.' He turned to re-enter the gym.
'Did you like it?' Cristóbal finally blurted out.
Jack spun on his heel to face the other teen.
'What?'
'Did you like it?' Cristóbal repeated. He took a step closer to Jack.
Jack stepped back automatically.
Cristóbal took another step.
So did Jack . . . only to realize that he was pressed up against a wall.
The Spaniard took one last step, closing off any remaining space between them.
'Did you like it?' he said once again. 'Do you like it when I . . . kiss you?' He dipped his head lower to capture Jack's lips in a quick kiss.
'What the fucking hell is this?' Jack demanded softly, almost dangerously. 'Sometimes, I have to force you to keep your hands off of me. Other times, you fool me with your chaste kisses,' he continued, recalling the sweet side that Cristóbal had revealed earlier that night. 'And then there are the times that you tease me! Over and over again, you bring me to the brink, only to abandon me! Tell me what you want, Cristóbal! I'm fucking tired of your games!' His voice had raised a notch or two . . . or three . . . or eighty billion.
'Maybe this isn't a game,' Cristóbal whispered. 'Maybe this is just the way that I am.'
'What?'
'I don't know how I'm supposed to feel around you, Jack."
"We all but had sex on the dance floor and now he decides to tell me how he feels!"
Then the Spaniard interrupted his thoughts.
'How should I act when I'm with you? Sometimes, I want to hurt you. Other times, I just want to hold you.' Cristóbal gently pulled off Jack's mask and leaned in closer so that his lips hovered above Jack's. 'Sometimes, I want to caress your body. Other times, I want to fuck you, claim you, make you mine!'
But he did not kiss him.
After making his little speech, Cristóbal pulled away, as if—despite his other wishes—he did not want to pressure Jack into a decision.
'I don't know how I'm supposed to feel around you, Jack Merridew . . . But,' the Spaniard continued, interrupting Jack's thoughts, 'I always want you.'
So Jack kissed him.
The teen had listened intently to his companion's heartfelt words and gave into his desire.
He kissed him.
Cristóbal wanted him, and Jack wanted him, too. The latter slipped his hands around Cristóbal's neck to pull him closer, but then he suddenly froze halfway through his movement.
The Spaniard pulled away slightly.
'What's wrong?' he murmured hotly against Jack's lips.
As if suddenly coming out of a reverie, Jack pushed him away.
Cristóbal, having been caught off-guard, stumbled and fell to the ground.
'Bloody hell, Jack! Let's have a little flashback here! You are the one whom kissed me, so don't go getting mad at me for it!' Cristóbal stopped his rave when he saw the wet streaks on Jack's cheeks. 'Jack?'
'I'm sorry, Cristóbal,' the latter said tearfully. 'But I . . . I can't do this. I want you, but I . . . I can't. I can't have you.'
'I'm giving myself to you—accept it.'
'I CAN'T!' Jack repeated desperately. 'This . . . this is wrong. I can't do this.'
Without even bothering to take his mask back, he ran away.
Jack ran and he ran, not stopping until he reached the nearest restroom.
Then he puked.
He puked away his shock and his pain . . . his suffering . . .
The Spaniard's words rang through his head once more.
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'I don't know how I'm supposed to feel around you, Jack. How should I act when I'm with you? Sometimes, I want to hurt you. Other times, I just want to hold you. Sometimes, I want to caress your body. But other times, I want to fuck you, claim you, make you mine!'
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Jack wiped away a stray tear.
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'I don't know how I'm supposed to feel around you, Jack Merridew . . . But I always want you.'
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Want . . .
That's what Cristóbal had said . . . "want". He didn't say "love", or even "like". Just . . . "WANT"!
'I am a fool,' Jack muttered. "How could I have mistakened lust for love?" He crumpled to the ground; bringing his knees up to his chest, he protectively wrapped his arms around them in a tight embrace.
"I almost fell in love with him," the teen realized. "But . . . how could I ever bear to expose my heart to someone with such . . . base desires?"
A memory came to him then, one of another person.
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Soft lips affectionately pressed to Jack's neck . . .
A ring of gold . . .
A mouthed "I love you" . . .
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"Those lips," Jack thought, unconsciously bringing a hand up to his neck. "They felt different from Cristóbal's just now . . . That chain, Cristóbal didn't have a chain . . . The "I love you", Cristóbal only said that he wanted me."
'Who was that?' the teen asked himself aloud. 'He looked so much like Cristóbal with that costume.'
In the distance, he suddenly heard a bout of cheering.
"No doubt coming from the gym," he realized. "It must be midnight; I guess that the masquerade is over now. I missed the unmasking . . . Oh well . . . Cristóbal . . . Ralph . . .'
He remembered a letter that Ralph had written to him only a few weeks ago.
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My dearest Jack,
It feels so strange to think. I haven't seen you for over a week!
I've seen the new moon . . . but not you. I've seen sunsets and sunrises, but nothing that compares of your beauty. I miss you like the sun misses the flower in the very depths of winter. The pieces of my broken heart are so small that they could be passed through the eye of a needle!
However, hope guides me. If I were unable to embrace that hope and hold it close to my heart, then I would have nothing. It is hope that gets me through the day and especially the night, the hope that after you had gone from my sight, it would not be the last time I set my eyes upon you.
I miss you, Jack, and I love you dearly.
With all the love that I possess, I remain forever yours,
Your Ralph
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'Ralph, do you still love me? Ralph . . .' He closed his hands into tight fists, not knowing how he should feel. What he did know was that he missed Ralph; he missed Ralph now more than ever. He needed him in his life . . .
Ralph had given him everything, had opened up his very soul to Jack . . . and Jack had repaid him by putting him through so much pain.
More tears streamed down Jack's subdued face.
