Author's Note: I don't know recall mentioning this recently, but I do not know Ralph's last name. So in my fics, he is now "Ralph Macpherson". I haven't read the books in a while, and I don't remember if it even mentioned it. I only remember Jack's. Hehe, I love his last name. "Merridew".

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(19) Closing the Door

". . . Yes, I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem . . ." — song from "Sleeping Beauty"

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There he was.

There Jack was.

After having traded his ticket for an earlier one, he was on a train to Surrey early the following morning, on his way to meet his destiny.

He sighed and leaned his head back against his seat, unconsciously tightening his hold on his jacket, which he brought just in case the weather grew cold.

"I never looked at his eyes," he realized, recalling the night before when he had danced with the other teen. "Never. Not once. I didn't recognize him. I couldn't recognize him. I'm such a sorry sod." And he desolately buried his face in his hands.

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Knock.

Ralph tiredly buried his face further into his pillow, which was still damp from his recent tears. (Needless to say, it had been a restless night. He hadn't returned until early that morning and vaguely hoped that his parents hadn't realized how late he had been out. Oh well.)

Knock.

The teen rolled over to lie on his back in exasperation. Rubbing at his eyes, he forced himself raise his head and groggily call out, 'Come in.'

His mother entered.

'Did you have a good night, Ralph?' she asked sweetly.

'Yeah. It was a blast,' he replied, forcing himself to sound happy.

'That's good. It's good to see that you're going out with your friends again. How are Samneric and everybody, anyway?'

'. . . Great,' Ralph said after a moment of hesitation. He almost forgot that he had never told his mother that he went to London. He had lied and told her that he was going out somewhere with the twins and his other friends.

'That's good to hear.' She leaned down and kissed him gently on his forehead. 'I am going out for a bit, dear. I'm going to go visit your Aunt Liv.'

'Mm-hm,' Ralph mumbled indifferently, vaguely recalling his mother mentioning earlier that week that his Aunt Liv was ill.

'If you get hungry, there is some food for you in the fridge.'

'Yeah.'

'And if you feel like going out later, you are free to do so . . . But leave a note for me so that I know where you are, just in case I get home before you do.' She smiled.

'Right.'

'Oh, and I won't be back until late tonight,' she said, having suddenly remembered. 'There is a list of numbers where you can reach me in case of an emergency—they're on the kitchen table. Your father's business numbers are in the usual place,' she added.

'Okay. Thanks, mum.'

She patted his arm affectionately. Then, before she left, she opened his bedroom window, muttering something about letting some fresh air circulate around the room.

'Have a good time,' Ralph called out to her as she departed, '. . . wherever you're going,' he finished stupidly as the door closed.

"Where does Aunt Liv live, anyway?" he wondered. "Meh, not that it matters, so long as Mum is gone."

At least he was going to be alone that day. His mother was going to be at Aunt Liv's all day and his father was away on another business trip of his, in North America or Asia or something (it was so difficult to remember these days). It was a blessing, really. Ralph didn't think that he would be able to force himself to appear as if nothing was wrong for the entire day, especially to his parents. While his father may not notice, his mother would definitely see that something was amiss. Call it motherly instincts.

'Call it annoying,' Ralph muttered before attempting to find sleep once more.

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Ding dong.

"What now?" Ralph wondered irritably, prying his eyes open. Glancing at his clock, he realized that he had only been asleep for a couple of hours.

Ding dong.

The doorbell had rung again.

'Go away,' he mumbled, knowing full well that whoever it was wouldn't be able to hear him.

A pause, then . . .

Ding dong.

"This guy never gives up!"

Ralph flatly refused to give up, however, and stayed in bed.

Ding dong.

"This is getting so fucking annoying."

Ding dong.

Without even realizing what he was doing, Ralph reached his hand over the side of the bed. Encountering his sneaker, he picked it up and threw it at the window, hoping to bang it loud enough to scare away the damn doorbell-ringer.

Only . . . he forgot that it was open.

The shoe flew straight out the open window and landed somewhere outside. A moment later, a resounding curse was heard.

Ralph chuckled.

"Got him. It was a mistake, but I got him. I may as well make the most out of my victory."

And he did.

Closing his eyes, he tried to get back to sleep.

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Two stories below, Jack rubbed at his aching head.

"What the hell? Had that been a shoe?" He picked up the offending item. "Yep."

Emotionally hurt that Ralph had deliberately thrown a shoe at him, Jack cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, 'RALPH! RALPH MACPHERSON!'

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Ralph froze, having head his name being called. Fully alert now, he jumped out of bed and looked out the window.

'Jack!' he exclaimed in disbelief, seeing the teen standing there with a ratty jacket tied around his waist. He rubbed at his eyes to clear his vision; surely he had been mistaken.

But he wasn't. Jack Merridew was standing below his bedroom window. Even from afar, he noticed that the other teen's eyes had softened with Ralph's emergence.

'Please, Ralph,' Jack called out. 'Please, come down. We need to talk.'

"Yes, Jack Merridew, we do need to talk," Ralph thought darkly, "but our conversation will be on my terms."

After hastily pulling on a pair of faded blue jeans over his boxers, Ralph made his way downstairs to open the door . . . where Jack was waiting.

'Ralph—' Jack began, but he was immediately cut off by a sound punch to his jaw. He stumbled in response, only barely managing to stay standing on the front steps.

'Go home, Jack,' Ralph said coldly, unconsciously wiping his hand on his old, white t-shirt. 'You don't belong here.'

Jack's eyes filled with tears, but Ralph did not know if it was from his punch or from his words.

'Ralph,' Jack said again.

'Don't say a word, Jack,' Ralph warned.

'But I—'

'Nothing you can say will change anything,' the teen cut in. 'None of it would matter! You'd only leave me again,' he said brokenly. 'I don't want to be your whore anymore, Jack! I don't just want to be someone who you can return to whenever your other relationships fall apart!'

'But there never was anyone else!' Jack interjected.

'Wasn't there?' Ralph challenged, his gaze sharpening. 'Don't lie to me, Jack. I'm not an idiot. I saw you last night! You and your fucking lover!' His hands were tightly closed fists at his sides (but he restrained himself from striking Jack again). His lips unwillingly pursed together as he desperately tried not to cry; he didn't want to cry, not in front of Jack. It would show the other teen just how much he still cared for him. 'What happened?' Ralph taunted. 'Did you get into a fight? Did you have a lover's quarrel?'

'Nothing happened!' Jack defended himself.

'Oh, really? Then why are you here if not to take me back? If not to screw around with my heart until someone else's interests you again?'

'You mean more than that to me!' Jack almost screamed. 'You mean more to me and you know it!'

'Do I?'

Jack sighed angrily.

'Look, I did come here to take you back, but only a small part of it has to do with Cristóbal.'

'Cristóbal?' Ralph repeated. 'Is that the name of your new toy?'

'He made me realize,' Jack continued, apparently ignoring Ralph's taunts, 'that no one can compare to you!' He took a step closer to the latter. 'I should never have let you go, Ralph, I admit that. But I cannot change what happened! I did it for you,' his voice softened and he reached up to cup the other teen's face. 'All of it was for you, Ralph. For us. I love you, Ralph.'

And captured Ralph's lips in a sweet kiss.

Wham!

Ralph punched his companion again and this time, Jack stumbled down the steps entirely, landing in a heap on the narrow walkway.

'Fine. Whatever. I'm just sorry that it took something like this for you to realize it!' he said angrily, gritting his teeth to keep back his tears. 'Why is it that you had to be with someone else before you realized it! Why the fuck did it have to take this!' The teen kicked fiercely at the doorframe to help vent his frustration, which, luckily, it did not splinter under the force of his foot. 'Why the fucking, bloody hell did I have to fall in love with someone like you, someone with such a cold heart?'

Jack blanched noticeably but he refused to give up.

'You love me, Ralph, and I love you,' he said. 'That's all we have to know! That's all we need to know to get back together!'

'You think that we're going to get back together after all this?' Ralph mocked. 'We can't, you fool. It isn't that simple! You broke up with me and I still waited for you. Against my better judgment, I hoped that you would call me up one day and we would be back together like that!' He snapped his fingers to emphasize his point.

Jack flinched at the sound.

'But . . . you didn't,' Ralph said. 'Yet, I continued to wait.' Despite his efforts, the tears streamed down his cheeks. 'I waited and waited . . . I waited for you, Merridew, and now I'm tired of waiting.'

'But—' Jack started, but the other teen interrupted.

'No "buts", Jack. Those are the facts.' Then Ralph touched his lips, just as he did after having kissed the other during the masque. 'When we kiss, Jack Merridew,' he whispered, 'I don't want to have to wonder if it's me you see . . . or him.' His eyes hardened.

'Ralph . . .' But Jack trailed off there, realizing that the other wasn't finished yet.

'You know,' Ralph said with a bitter smile, looking at the ground, 'I once told Samneric that even if you didn't love me back, it would be enough for me to just give you my love.' Then he looked Jack in the eye. 'But it's not. I don't want to bear my heart to such pain again, Jack, not when I have no way of knowing if you'll close the door on me—on us—again.' He sighed sadly. 'No, this time, I'm going to be the one to close the door on you.'

And that's just what he did.

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Shocked, Jack looked at the closed door with wide eyes . . . and he wept.

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Inside the house, Ralph was leaning against the door and battling with his own tears. It was over. It was officially over. His heart had never felt so broken. He needed someone to help him get rid of his pain, if only for a while.

And he knew just the person.

Picking up the phone, he dialed the twins' telephone number.

Ring . . .

Ring . . .

Ring . . .

After the third ring, someone finally picked up.

'Hello?'

'Hi . . . Sam?' Ralph inquired.

'No, Ralph, this is Eric.'

'Oh, sorry.'

'Don't worry about it,' the twins said. 'What's up?'

'Can you give me Jacques' phone number?'

'Yeah. Just a sec.'

Ralph heard some random shuffling of papers and a loud bang that sounded as if the receiver had dropped. Then Eric finally picked up the phone once more.

'Okay here it is . . .' And he recited the number.

'Thanks, Eric,' Ralph said.

'No problem.' There was a slight giggle. 'By the way, Ralph, I really am Sam. I am Sam and I like green eggs and ham (1).'

And he hung up.

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So, that was that.

Ralph put down the phone, after having made his second call of the day. He had called Jacques to see if the other teen was available that night. He knew that it wasn't very much notice and that Jacques probably already had plans for the Saturday night, but it was worth a try.

Then Jacques had surprised him by saying that he had nothing planned and that he would love to go out with Ralph. Either that or he had decided to cancel his other plans for Ralph. The latter thought held both a flattering and rather frightening appeal to the teen.

Anyway, the pair decided to catch a movie that night for 8 o'clock. Meaning that Ralph had a lot of time to kill before then.

'Homework it is then,' he decided blandly.

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Jack decided to wait on Ralph's step. He didn't come all this way just to lose the other teen before he even had him! Unfortunately, it had been a couple of hours since his encounter with Ralph and Jack was now bored out of his fucking mind! He hadn't brought anything to do, not even his stupid homework.

What he did have with him was a scrap sheet of paper and a broken pencil, which he had found in his jacket pocket. Having an idea, he scrawled down Ralph's name vertically on the page. Then he began to make an acrostic poem out of it.

'"R",' he muttered to himself. '"Romantic". "A".' He thought about this for a moment. '"Awesome".' The teen smiled. '"L".' He bit his lip to keep away the pain as he wrote down "loving".

And so he continued in that fashion. Some of the words he wrote were serious, while others were not.

This was his finished product:

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Romantic

Awesome

Loving

Pleasing

Hysterical

Mocking

Athletic

Clever

Prince

Handsome

Emotional

Remarkable

Stubborn

Original

Noble

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Jack looked over his list once more.

'"M" . . . "Mine".' He crossed out "mocking" and replaced it with the new word. Then he folded the paper and slipped it into Ralph's mail slot.

'I'm sorry, Ralph,' he murmured. 'You have no idea how sorry I am for what I did . . . but do we both have to suffer for it?'

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(1) Mini-Disclaimer: "Green Eggs and Ham", Dr. Seuss (Cool kids book!)