The real villain of hyrule

Chapter 1

It was a cold wet night in hyrule, the ground was damp and the sky was black and misty. Link and Navi where running over too hyrule castle to meet princess Zelda after being told too by the deku tree.

" Link, Link!" Navi yelled. "It's getting dark and the castle bridge closes at night." "SHUT UP NAVI! If I didn't know that I wouldn't be running, and on top of you going HEY, HEY every two damn seconds I need to go a wee."

" Can't you go up a tree. "

" I would but that bloody pervert of an owl keeps looking at me." Link gets to the bridge, just as it closed. Link stopped running and turned too look at Navi.

" If you had just shut up and didn't distracted me I would be in hyrule castle by now. Now I have to wait till morning till I can piss, and it's all your fault!" Link grabs Navi and dunks her in the moat. Then link hears a voice behind him.

" If you need a wee hoo, hoo just go up this tree." Link turns around to see the owl on top of a tree.

" THAT'S IT!" Link gets out his slingshot and shoots the owl in the head.

" HOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo!" Screamed the owl as he fell to the ground.

"Nice shot." Said Navi as she floated down the stream.

"Nice shot?" Replied Link as he slowly picked her up by her wings." NICE SHOT! It wasn't a nice shot. IT WAS BRILLIANT YOU THICK FARIY! DON'T UNDERESTIMAIT ME AGAIN!" Then he threw her against the tree. " Why did that tree send that fairy. I should have burned that tree when he summoned me."

The sun slowly came up and the bridge came down.

"Come on Navi are you coming or are you goanna be lazy and sit there doing nothing but cry over the splinter from the tree, the owl trying too eat you and that your wet from the moat?"

" I'm coming Link." Groaned Navi. Link and Navi didn't notice it but there was a squirrel watching them as they walked into the gate. Then it followed them.

" Wow look at this place I fell like I'm in the town with no worry's. But…"

" But what Link?" Link paused for a moment then shouted.

" WHY ISN'T THE FOREST LIKE THIS! I wasted most of my life in that dump and they didn't bother to tell me about this place until now! And here's a but for you don't but in miss know it all or I'll kick you right up your but!" The entire town looked at Link, Link turned around to look at the town. And as he turned around the squirrel jumped at Navi and grabbed her and took her in a hole under one of the houses.

" Get off me you flea bag I'll get disease!" Then before Navi could even blink a small machine strapped her down. "What's going on, let me out I'll shave your fur off you rat with a fluffy tail."

" Oh I believe it is I who will shaving and plucking." Replied the squirrel

" You can talk? Wow I've never… Wait did you say plucking?" The squirrel grinned as the machine came down and pulled off her wings.

" Don't worry you can move still ones I make a few modifications." Navi hears a chicken cluck.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Back with Link looking for Navi

" NAVI GET YOUR BUT OUT HERE NOW, I need too kick it." The squirrel comes out with a motor on his back and deku sticks attached to his arms with feathers stuck onto make them look like wings.

" Here I am oh mighty hero." The squirrel said in a high-pitched voice. Link grabbed the squirrel by the neck

" I've been waiting for you, you stupid fairy I… you look different. OH MY GOD! You're, You're. Taking my advice and growing hair. And you said it was impossible."

"Errrr Yeah that's it" so they both headed too Hyrule castle.

End of Chapter one