Disclaimers: See the first chapter.
Snippets From the Potterverse
Chapter 35 - Mmm...Slanty
It was a well-known fact that Sirius Black loved tilting his chair. It never mattered if he was pleased, happy, or annoyed - he'd just tilt his chair. He used to put his feet up on the table, too, but Remus and Molly frowned down on this severely. He had been beaten (almost literally) out of the habit by his lycanthropic lover.
Anyone could see who was running that relationship. (See Order of the Phoenix', page 90, and you'll see that Sirius is totally whipped.)
Anyway. Sirius liked to tilt his chair.
He was getting annoyed glances from everyone in the kitchen at the moment, because his chair was squeaky. Dumbledore was trying to give a speech concerning the latest activities of the Death Eaters, but Sirius' squeaky, tilty chair was quite distracting.
And Lucius Malfoy has -
SQUEAK.
I said, Lucius Malfoy has -
SQUEAK.
AS I WAS SAYING! Dumbledore roared, and Sirius' chair dropped back onto four legs with a bang. Thank you.... Now, Lucius Malfoy has escaped from Azkaban.... but since the dementors are no longer under Ministry control, he could just walk out the door.... Kingsley, I believe you acquired those reports on the escape for us?....
Yes, sir. Kingsley pulled a roll of parchment from his robes and unrolled it. It stretched almost the entire length of the table. Everyone leaned forward for a look.
SQUEAK.
Heads swiveled. Sirius giggled nervously and sweatdropped, one hand behind his head.
As you can see, Fudge has had some of the parts omitted from the papers...
Sirius shifted. SQUEAK.
Collective glare.
Well, we knew Fudge wouldn't want the Ministry to look completely incompetent, Bill sighed.
Sirius snorted derisively and tilted his chair back. SQUEAK.
Crunkled-up balls of parchment hit him in the head.
Stop tilting your chair! Molly hissed.
I can't help it. I'm comfy....
Shut up.
SQUEAK.
It wasn't me! Sirius quailed as the rest of the Order glared at him. He stood up and looked under his chair. Ah, I see...
He pulled something out. It was Crookshanks' squeaky rubber mouse. Sirius put it on the table and smiled. See? I must have been rocking on that. I've solved the mystery! And to celebrate, I'm going to tilt my chair. Mmm, slanty. He sat down and tilted his chair.
SQUEAK.
Moody's magical eye clonked him on the head and knocked him unconscious.
