Disclaimer: I do not own LotR.
Warnings: I decided not to have slash. I wasn't goin' to before and I even had it sayin' that before I posted it. I uploaded it again, though, and must have forgot to change it. It really would not be right to have it be like that after what Legolas goes through, especially since Aragorn is a human… Sorry to those of you who wanted it. Rated R for rape.
Sorry if there were any misunderstandings. There won't be a sequel for this one (not that I'm planning anyway), but for my other LotR fic. Sorry if I confused anyone. I hadn't realized I worded it like that.
Wow, you guys, thanks so much for all the reviews! This is the most amount of reviews I've received for a first chapter; possibly even just a chapter. n.n Glad you're all enjoying this fic. Kinda odd, though, how I get the most when it's about this… You guys worry me… (I'm all the one writing it… -.- ) But anyway, I hope you all continue to enjoy this and review… n.n
Review responses below.
Unforgivable Pain
Chapter Two:Breakdown
He was screaming now. Screaming for hope, for help, for anything that could get him out of his situation.
Legolas nearly jumped out of his skin when someone touched his shoulder. It was then that he realized he had been screaming aloud as well. Someone must have heard him and went for help since they were unable to do anything.
Oh, Valar, it's Estel... he thought, looking at him quickly, then looking back down at his hands that were now draped over his legs submerged in the water; against his chest. It's alright. Just calm down and act normal. He took a deep breath.
"Are you alright, mellon-nin? You were screaming…" the human asked concerned. "You did not fall asleep, did you?" If the elf had then that could account for the screaming by a nightmare.
Elrond stood behindhis son,thinking it best for him to watch over this in case the blonde elf panicked again. The twins were left back in the other room, their father not wanting to crowd Legolas. That definitely wouldn't help!
"N-nay," he stuttered, his voice unsteady. Where were his new clothes? Where was the cloth? He knew something had to be put out for him. There was always something. He needed something to cover him up. He felt vulnerable and… scared. He then realized his mistake by saying he didn't fall asleep. He just confessed it was something other than a nightmare that had bothered him – and greatly at that.
Aragorn and Elrond frowned. It wasn't a nightmare, so what was it?
"Then, why were you screaming?" the human asked. Why couldn't his best friend, that he had known from birth, just tell him what was wrong? It frustrated them all to no end. They knew it had been terrible. It was causing the elf to act like this after all. Also, by now, the blonde would have just told them. He was stubborn, but not this stubborn about most things.
Elrond noticed the elf was looking around for something frantically.
"Where are my clothes?" the blonde asked, avoiding the human's question. He needed his clothes, though.
Aragorn knew Legolas was avoiding his question, but if he wanted his clothes he should give them to him. He seemed too frightened to even get up without them.
Elrond looked around and found the nightclothes that had been set out for Legolas. He picked them up and handed them to Aragorn.
The human nodded his head in thanks. He slowly went to the elf, remembering how he had reacted to him last time.
Legolas froze up as he saw the ranger walk over to him, but just told himself that he was a friend over and over again, holding onto his resolve of acting normal. It worked for the most part and Aragorn handed him the clothes, which he quickly grabbed.
Legolas eyed the two while in the water. He didn't want them to see the injuries that adorned his body.
Elrond and Aragorn got the hint and turned around so they weren't facing him; giving him his privacy.
The blonde got out of the water, dried himself off very quickly with the cloth that had been given to him. Then he put his clothes on. All the while keeping his eyes on the two, especially Aragorn.
Legolas told them he was done and they turned around. Elrond frowned when he noticed how pale and unsteady the elf was. He also found the herbs and bandages on the side of the bath.
"Legolas, you really need to have those wounds treated," the elf-lord said. Why is he being so stubborn this time?
The blonde looked back down at his hands that were in front of him. Couldn't they just leave him alone? "I am tired and wish to sleep," Legolas said hoarsely. This, of course, was just an excuse to get away from them, like the bath had been, though he really needed the bath. He couldn't sleep, however. The images haunted him… even when awake! He desperately needed to sleep.
The two frowned. They could plainly see he needed to sleep, but it was obvious that he was avoiding talking about anything to do with himself.
The prince saw the displeased looks they were giving him and he sighed. "I shall treat them myself in my room before I sleep," he said, hoping they would agree. They couldn't blame him for not doing it this time, for they had interrupted. If they hadn't, though, more memories could have surfaced.
Both healers inspected Legolas, knowing it would be best for them to treat the wounds, but also knew that it would be impossible. The elf would never allow it, especially not right now. They saw the blank stare the elf all of a sudden got and were worried.
"Legolas," Aragorn said gently.
The blonde's head snapped up in surprise. He had spaced out again. Act normal, he reminded himself again. It really was not working, though and he knew it.
"Go sleep, penneth," the elder elf said. "Take the herbs and bandages with you, alright?"
Legolas nodded relieved. He knelt down next to the items to pick them up. However, a sharp pain shot through his stomach. He hissed in pain and almost fell, but caught himself with his hands just in time.
"Legolas!" the human shouted in shock and worry.
He ran up to the pained elf without thinking and tried to help him out. "Are you okay?" he asked placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"Do not touch me," the elf gasped and flinched from the contact.
Aragorn immediately removed his hand and took a small step back.
Legolas stood up despite the pain and stumbled to the doors. He opened them and continued along the wall.
Father and son would have grabbed the elf, but knew it would only hurt him more.
"Legolas!" Elladan and Elrohir shouted, surprised to see the elf stumbling along the wall. He seemed to be in a lot of pain as well.
When the blonde ignored them and continued along the walls. Elrohir went up to him and placed his hand on his.
The prince finally looked up at the dark-haired elf. All the twin saw was fear.
"L-let go," the archer whispered. First the human and now this?
Elrohir still help onto Legolas' hand, though. He didn't know where the blonde wanted to go or even what he wanted to do when he got there, and he was worried, especially given his condition.
Legolas struggled against the younger twin's grasp. "Let go! Please, let go," he begged, the fear only rising.
The twins were shocked when they found tears running down Legolas' face. He rarely cried and yet here he was; just because Elrohir wouldn't let go!
"Valar, Legolas…" Elrohir said quietly. He couldn't believe his eyes. Could this truly be real?
The younger twin let go of the prince when he sank to the floor in despair. He then curled into himself. "Don't hurt me… please," the blonde begged distraught.
This was crazy! It wasn't Legolas at all! It was as if Legolas didn't even recognize Elrohir by the blank look he had. It was as if he had gone somewhere else. Now they knew just how bad this situation really was. They had thought their father and brother were just exaggerating it. They knew just how wrong they had been now! This was probably even worse than Elrond or Estel even thought it was.
"Legolas, no one is going to hurt you," the dark-haired elf tried to bring him back to them. "I'm sorry, mellon-nin. I'm so sorry." He felt terrible for holding the young elf back now. He had no idea it would cause such a reaction.
The blonde looked up at Elrohir with tears still falling freely and fear showing clearly in his eyes.
When will that leave? Elladan thought about the fear he had been seeing constantly in Legolas' eyes.
"Please forgive me, Legolas," Elrohir said again. He didn't know if his friend would even trust him anymore. Did he even know it was him? Legolas definitely didn't seem to be in the right state of mind at the moment… to say the least.
Before anything else could be said Elrond and Aragorn rushed into the room. Both stopped when they saw Legolas cowering against the wall, his arms covering his face.
"Legolas," Aragorn said, not believing this. The elf hadn't gotten far at all.
Legolas looked up in tears at the voice of the human. "Please... no more," he whispered, fear in his eyes.
The ranger looked at the blonde with confusion. 'No more', what? he thought, having no idea what he was talking about. Then he did a double-take. Legolas was crying! That was rare indeed and definitely not a good sign.
This was worse than it had been before. Was it because of Aragorn that he was acting like this? It seemed like something else happened, though. Why else would be stop and breakdown like this?
"What happened here?" Elrond demanded of the twins.
"This is my fault," Elrohir said despairingly.
The elf-lord looked over at the younger twin in surprise. "Why would it be your fault?" he asked, trying to make sense of things.
"I was trying to stop him from leaving," Elrohir told his father.
"Worry not about this. We shall talk later," the elder elf told them. He wanted to know what had happened, but Legolas was more important at the moment.
The blonde was still against the wall, he had stopped his tears, though. He now had a blank look on his face, instead of the one of fear. Elrond wasn't sure which one he preferred, he did, however, know that he liked neither of them.
"Legolas, everything is alright. Snap out of it," Aragorn tried in a soothing voice. I was obvious the prince had retreated into his own mind where they couldn't reach him.
Legolas looked up at the human; a flash of fear showed through his mask for the briefest moment. Aragorn wasn't even sure if he had seen it to begin with.
"Are you with us, penneth?" Elrond asked concerned.
Legolas looked over again, this time to the elder elf. Then he closed his eyes and leaned back against the wall behind him.
Everyone was quiet, watching the elf. About a minute later,their mouths dropped in surprise when they realized the blonde had fallen asleep in the short amount of time.
"Should have expected that…" the human said dryly. The elf had moved around a lot, and fast; more than his weak body was able to.
"Well, should one of us carry him back to his chambers?" Elrohir asked. He wasn't sure if any of them should even touch the elf after what had just happened. He knew he definitely wasn't going to! Not for a while at least, that had scared him; he was still shaken even.
"Aye, it will put a strain of his injuries if he stays like that," Elrond said wisely. "Bring the herbs and bandages with." He wasn't sure if he'd actually put them on the elf while he was sleeping, though. He didn't want him to wake up and panic. With how fragile Legolas' condition was they were going to have to be extra cautious around him.
Elrond carefully picked up the blonde and carried him to his room. Aragorn had grabbed the needed supplies. The twins followed them, wondering what they could do – if anything – to help.
The elf-lord put Legolas onto his bed. Looking over he found that Aragorn had set the herbs and bandages down on a small table near the bed. After, he went to pull up a chair; the twins did as well.
"My sons," the elder elf started, "I will stay with him. We should give him space this time." It didn't matter how much they argued this time. Legolas just could not be by a lot of people and that was that. Usually they'd all stay in the room, but it just wasn't possible now.
"But Ada—" they started, still trying to win their case.
"Nay, you are to sleep in your own chambers," Elrond said calmly but in a tone that clearly showed his seriousness and that he wouldn't be dissuaded.
The human and the twins sighed heavily but didn't try anymore. They knew when their father got that tone not to argue anymore. It would do no good and only anger their father. He rarely got angry, but when he did… well, you didn't want to be around.
Elrond looked out of the balcony that was slightly open, for Legolas enjoyed feeling the breeze and, during the day, the sun that usually shone through. It was now night with the wind's caressing touch being chilled. The stars were clear and shinning brightly with the moon giving light to the garden below. He couldn't believe how fast the day had left them and let night take over.
The three saw their father stare out the window with a sad expression. That was unusual, for he'd hide it, so he wouldn't worry anyone. Then again, how could this situation not worry someone or not make them sad?
"Ada…" Elladan uncertainly said in a quiet voice.
The elder elf lifted his gaze from the balcony and stared at Legolas instead. "You should all get some rest. I'm sure you are all tired," he said never lifting his eyes off the blonde in front of him.
They knew there was no use in saying anything to allow them to stay and they knew why their father was so forlorn – as were they – so there was no point in inquiring.
The three left saying their goodnights and each went off to their own chambers, which were close to Legolas' anyway.
Elrond pulled up the chair that Aragorn had started to, and put it next to Legolas' bed, getting ready for a long night. He would be the one to watch over the young elf until he recovered. He wouldn't change nights with his sons as they usually did, for Legolas was in need of great help; a lot more than he had ever before.
Legolas' eyes snapped open from another nightmare. He looked around frightened, and was startled to see someone on his left.
He looked harder and sighed in relief. It was just Elrond, nothing to be afraid of. The elder elf was sleeping in a chair with his head in his arms that were on the bed. It was pretty unusual for the elf-lord to fall asleep while watching a patient, especially a close one. He probably thought I would not wake 'til morning, the blonde elf thought, looking out the balcony, the drapes were still pulled back so the moon shone in. With all the memories it was impossible to get a full night's sleep.
Legolas carefully slid from underneath his covers and set his feet on to the ground. Dizziness took over then, but luckily it didn't last long. He walked unsteadily over to his balcony. Stepping outside he closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of the nature around him deeply. He hadn't been able to just relax in a while now. It felt so good to be away from everyone and just enjoy the things around him.
He slowly opened his eyes and moved to the railing. He crossed his arms on it and looked about him. Seeing how the moon cast its glow on all the plants, water, and animals.
Elrond watched the blonde elf in content. He had woken up when Legolas had gotten out of bed and watched to see what he was doing. He was glad to see he had a tranquil look on his face, that he had been able to see when the elf had turned his head. It was the first time he had seen it since he had returned and it overjoyed his heart. He didn't want to disrupt the elf so he stayed where he was, watching for any signs of discomfort or pleasure. Preferably the pleasure.
It had been an hour since Legolas had gone onto the balcony and Elrond was starting to wonder if he'd even come back in. Did he feel safer outside?
He had seen the blonde sit down and lean against the wall. Curious as to if he fell asleep, the elf-lord stood up quietly and walked over to where he was.
He smiled when he saw that Legolas had indeed fallen asleep and actually had a peaceful look on his face, whereas both times before they were anything but. Should he bring him to his bed now? He didn't want to disturb his sleep, though. Maybe it was that he felt safer outside. It was obvious that he blonde needed sleep, too.
Elrond sighed heavily and went inside. Grabbing the blanket, he then went back to the sleeping elf and draped it over him, making sure to not wake him. As an elf, the cold didn't affect him, but it was more for comfort.
Legolas turned his head a little but, to Elrond's relief, didn't wake up. He decided that he'd move his position as well and stay out there with the elf. There were already chairs out there. His sons and Legolas, of course, liked to sit out and enjoy the days and just sit around and talk.
It was early the next morning when he was awoken by a scream. It startled him and he looked around at first.
Then he saw Legolas. He was fighting off the invisible force again. Telling it to stop, get away; begging it not to hurt him anymore. It tore Elrond's heart in two. He had hoped the young elf would have been able to get a full night's rest. Apparently that wasn't going to happen.
"Legolas," the elf-lord tried, not touching him for fear of a worse reaction. "Wake up, penneth. Tis only a nightmare."
This, however, had no response. Elrond truly hadn't expected it to either. He had hoped so, though.
Legolas' screams got louder and he struggled harder, more violent as well. The screams were a sound of complete anguish. Whatever they were doing to him in his nightmare was putting the elf in terrible pain, almost unbearable by the sounds of it; both emotionally and physically.
"Legolas! Come on, Legolas. Wake up!" the elder elf tried harder, and dared to touch the elf, slightly shaking his shoulder.
Surprisingly, it had the complete opposite reaction as before. The blonde actually woke up! Unexpected, but a very good thing indeed.
Legolas opened his eyes quickly and saw Elrond's worried face in front of his own. At first it startled him, but he recovered.
The elf-lord was shocked to see that he blonde had tears in his eyes.
"Thank the Valar," the prince whispered hoarsely. He had thought his nightmare had been real and that he hadn't escaped the humans. That his escape had all been a dream. However, here Elrond was. The tears that had built up during his nightmare had been so close to falling that they did now, from despair and relief. Remembering those terrible things; seeing them again refreshed his mind, even if he did not wish for them to and he hated it.
"Legolas…" the dark-haired elf said sadly. He brought the blonde close to him and gave him a hug without thinking. The elf he considered a son was crying! What else would he do?
Legolas immediately stiffened against the close contact and almost started to try to break free. Then he told himself that it was only Elrond, who was like his father. He could handle his touch. He could.
The hug now turned into comfort as his thoughts allowed him to accept it. He returned it and buried his head into Elrond's chest, sobbing uncontrollably, finally letting it all out.
The elf-lord held the golden head against his chest and rubbed his back with his other hand, trying to soothe the elf. He was crestfallen by this sight. Legolas had just broken down crying; last time he had done that was when he was an elfling, a couple millennia ago. He was, however, relieved that the sudden physical contact hadn't cause a reaction like before. Maybe this would help the young elf. Right now, though, the only thing he cared about was giving the comfort Legolas so desperately needed.
;-; So sad.
Hope you guys enjoyed it, though. Please tell me what you all think. I'm sure I had more to say but at the moment I can't think straight and am typing terribly! Eesh… sorry if there are extra typos!
Man, it took me forever to get a time when I could post this, so I'm doin' it at 3:30 AM. -.- -shrugs-
Review Responses
Jack Sparrow's Secret Lurrver – Poor Legolas indeed!
Lynx Yamato – Yeah, not goin' to be shounen ai… already explained about that ish. Thx for the review. n.n Did I actually put in good details? I've been trying to work on that little problem, since I'm bad at putting them in.
faceted-mind – Lol… yeah, that's my fav pairing… I'll read almost any, but… yeah. n.n Lol… don't worry, I will always finish my stories… unless I have no choice on the matter, of course… -.-
justso – Yes, I know they die from rape, but I just did a fic with him fading and I don't want them to be too close. Besides, it is called fanfiction for a reason, ya know?
Haldir's Heart and Soul – Yeah, it's goin' to be only friendship… don't worry. That's what I meant for it to be in the first place…
hello Dr. – Lol… gah, you're right. n.n Yeah, I know there's a lot with this story-line and whatnot, but… -shrugs- Thx so much! n.n
jen – Thank you! n.n
InsanePirate624 – There ya are! n.n Missed talkin' to you in the last fic. n.n;; Yeah, it's not goin' to be shounen ai, though. Sequel still will be! n.n Thx, btw.
DriggerWhiteTiger – Thank you and I hope you enjoyed it. n.n
Blue Eyed Angel2 – Yeah, it is! And so do I! Poor Legolas! I should give him a break in at least one of my fics… If that's possible… Hasn't happened yet! n.n;; He'll prob'ly be able to help him, but won't be his lover… in this one… n.n
kel – Yeah, poor Legolas! ;-;
Gemini969 – Thank you. Hope the update was soon enough. n.n
empath89 – Yeah, so do I, but it just won't work with this fic… too bad, though. Poor Legolas, indeed!
ulia – Thanks so much! n.n Glad ya liked it so much. n.n
Kiharu-sama – Ah... gah! That pairing scares me so freakin' much it's not even funny! Yeah, I'm all for the A/L, but it just won't work in this fic. Lol! Why'd ya read it then?
Anonymous – Yeah, exactly why I wasn't goin' to make it be slash in the first place. Already explained all that ish before so… yeah. And I don't believe in God, or that there are even any gods so it wouldn't really matter. Why is it so wrong to be gay/bi in the first place?
I'm so glad so much of you reviewed! It made me day! n.n Except for one of you peoples, but one out of seventeen isn't bad. Not bad at all! -grins- Thanks so much, you have no idea how much it means to me. I hope you all enjoyed this chapt as well!
Plz Review!
Ja ne
