Disclaimers: See the first chapter.
Snippets From the Potterverse
Chapter 60 - Sirius and Mrs. Weasley
Sirius Black would never be Molly Weasley's favourite relative. In fact, Mrs. Weasley could have died happily if she had never known that immature, whiny, crude, slightly hypocritical, scraggly-looking clod was a relative. It had come as a complete shock when she had taken up residence at 12 Grimmauld Place and caught a glimpse of Sirius' family tree only to see that she and Sirius had a few ancestors in common. She had often lain awake nights, wondering how this could be. Arthur didn't seem to mind; he and Sirius got on rather well - even to the point where Arthur sometimes jokingly referred to Sirius as Stubby', after seeing that ridiculous article in The Quibbler. But Mrs. Weasley supposed she'd have to live with it. The children and the rest of the Order (except Snape) liked Sirius, and Harry and Remus loved him deeply. And after all, every family had a member whom they'd like to forget.
But it was almost Christmas, and Mrs. Weasley tried to warm up to her cousin in lieu of the holiday spirit. He was, it was true, a lot more pleasant to be around after being freed, and a lot more pleasant to look at now that he had a comb and clean clothes at his disposal. So Molly was determined to stay in good spirits.
That was hard to do after she found out why her son, daughter, and the others had been missing for almost twenty-four hours. She couldn't contain her rage as she converged upon her rather frightened-looking cousin.
HOW COULD YOU GET LOST?! Mrs. Weasley roared. Pots and pans trembled on the walls. Several pieces of china fell from their shelves and smashed. Remus, Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley children were cowering in a corner. Sirius was standing before Molly, his eyes wide.
HOW COULD YOU END UP IN IRELAND?! HOW CLUELESS ARE YOU?Well, we ran out of money, you see, after buying petrol and doughnuts and using the pay toilets...WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST COME STRAIGHT HOME?! YOU DIDN'T NEED PETROL OR DOUGHNUTS OR PAY TOILETS!Well, there was a traffic jam, you see....BUT STILL! HOW DO YOU GET FROM WALES TO IRELAND WITHOUT REALISING YOU'RE GOING THE WRONG WAY?!I didn't mean to! It was getting dark, and everyone was whining about being hungry!WHAT ABOUT STREET SIGNS?! WOULD IT HAVE KILLED YOU TO READ ANY?!I told you, it was dark!
He was a frustrating, irritating man. Molly ground her teeth. He may have been thirty-six years old, but he acted more like he was still sixteen. Why did it take you so long to think of the Knight Bus? she inquired, trying to keep her voice under control. Surely even you aren't that stupid.
He also had a very bad temper, and she was pushing it. His eyes turned icy. I'm sure you didn't mean that, Molly.I'm sure I did. Honestly, Sirius, will you ever grow up and start acting like an adult? You're supposed to be Harry's role model, for heaven's sake!There you go again! You're always telling me what a terrible godfather I am! Well, excuse me if I didn't get much practise before I was wrongfully imprisoned in that hell!You never would have been sent to Azkaban if you hadn't gone off with the purpose of killing Pettigrew !-YOU EXPECT ME TO SIT ON MY ARSE AFTER MY BEST FRIENDS WERE MURDERED?! HARRY NEEDED ME, DAMMIT!YOU ALWAYS HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS, SIRIUS, BUT YOU NEVER ACT ON THEM!WELL, PARDON ME FOR HAVING GOOOOOD INTENTIONS!Now, Sirius. Remus had removed his fingers from his ears (all the shouting was particularly hard on his sensitive wolf hearing) and stepped between his lover and Mrs. Weasley. It was a simple mistake, Molly. Well, several mistakes. Well, more like a series of unfortunate events. It was partly my fault. I used Sirius' money to buy breakfast for the children. He smiled charmingly. Mrs. Weasley calmed down immediately, while Sirius' eyes turned darker than usual and a naughty smile appeared on his face. Harry didn't want to know what kind of lecherous thoughts his godfather was entertaining.
Come on, it's Christmas. Let's just sit down to eat. We have a lot of work ahead of us. Remus said soothingly.
It was okay. Decorating Grimmauld Place was a lot more fun than scrubbing Grimmauld Place. Everyone sat down to eat their supper, which had cooled considerably during Sirius and Mrs. Weasley's argument. The meal went uneventfully, for the most part. The main distraction was Mrs. Weasley, who was still grinding her teeth over her stew.
No doubt she had seen the ketchup stain on Ron's jumper.
