Disclaimers: See the first chapter.

Snippets From the Potterverse

Chapter 66 - Crookshanks The Prince

Ginny had been reading too many faerie tales these days. They had been giving her scary ideas.

For instance, one morning at breakfast she produced a glass slipper and demanded that Remus put it on Sirius' foot to see if Sirius was truly his princess. Sirius had retaliated by throwing the slipper out the window, where it hit a Muggle in the head. The Muggle immediately sold the slipper on Ebay for two million dollars.

Another time, she forced Ron to eat a strangely-coloured mushroom, claiming it would make him shrink. Ron had to be rushed to St. Mungo's with severe toadstool poisoning.

Ginny had also claimed that Snape lived in a gingerbread house and ate children; Hagrid lived in a house on top of the clouds, where he hid an enormous fortune; and Harry had been abandoned in the jungle as a child, where he was raised by wolves and made friends with singing, dancing bears.

It was all quite ridiculous. Mrs. Weasley was quite worried by now. She had never known that Muggle faerie tales could be so mind-altering.

But the strangest thing happened when Ginny swore that Crookshanks was really a prince.

"He is ," she insisted to the bemused population of Grimmauld Place, eyeing the grumpy cat which sat in Hermione's lap. "He's under a spell from a wicked witch, and we have to change him back."

"And just how do we do that?" Ron asked sarcastically.

"It's easy! Hermione needs to kiss him!" Ginny said proudly.

"Ew, no!" Hermione protested. "In the story, the frog was kissed by a princess that he loved! Crookshanks is always way more affectionate with Sirius than he is with me!" She dumped the cat in Sirius' lap.

"But I'm not a princess," Sirius replied quickly, dumping the cat back on Hermione. "I'm all man, okay?"

"I can attest to that," Remus said, snuggling up to his lover. The others twitched, then looked back at Crookshanks. The cat mewed and looked up at Hermione.

"See! He wants you to kiss him!" Ginny said triumphantly.

"Well, okay," Hermione said, and kissed he cat on the lips.

POOF! Crookshanks disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to be replaced by a sexy, sultry prince dressed in tight leather trousers and a silk shirt. He had gingery hair the color of Crookshanks' fur, which fell gracefully into his golden eyes, and long, sexy legs. He smiled, revealing perfect teeth, and every knee in the house turned to water. Even Harry found himself questioning his sexuality at the sight of this gorgeous god.

"You're all mine, my dear," the prince murmured, bending down to kiss Hermione passionately.

"AAAAUUUGHHH!" Ron screamed. He sat up, fighting against his blankets. He looked around wildly. Strange. He wasn't in Grimmauld Place. He was at St. Mungo's.

"Oh, darling, are you okay?" his mother asked anxiously. She and Mr. Weasley were sitting beside their son's bed.

"Yeah... I just had a really weird dream..." Ron muttered.

"Poor dear. It must have been a hallucination brought on by that poisonous toadstool Ginny gave you."