Chapter Three More chopsticks, Cursed Veggie Man, and Dolls

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh.

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Sitting on one of those odd shaped couches therapist have, Duke hummed to himself as the therapist took a seat in her chair.

"My name is Dr. Finklemeyer. How about I start by showing you ink blots? Tell me what you see when you look at them."

Duke nodded with vigor.

Dr. Finklemeyer showed him the first ink blot.

"Chopsticks!"

Dr. Finklemeyer looked at the blot and blinked. "… Okay …" she said at last, showing him the next ink block.

"Chopsticks." Duke said again.

She showed him a third, fourth and fifth ink block, in all of which he saw chopsticks. "...I believe time to try a different test" she told him, forcing a smile.

Duke pouted " But that game was fun."

"I'm going to read you words off a list, and you tell me what word pops into your head."

"OK!" Duke said, happy to be playing a new game.

"Hot." she read off.

"Chopsticks." Duke responded.

"Cold."

"Chopsticks."

"Sun."

"Chopsticks."

"STOP SAYING CHOPSTICKS!" Dr. Finklemeyer screamed.

"But you told me to say what word pops into my head, and chopsticks popped into my head every time." Duke said. "I love chopsticks!" He murmured, stroking a random chopstick he pulled out of his pocket.

"Do you like anything else beside chopsticks?"

"Yup. Chap stick and Chinese food!"

"Why do you like chap stick?" she asked him, sighing with forced patience.

"Because, chap stick rhymes with chopstick, and I like Chinese food because you eat it with chopsticks" Duke explained.

"DO YOU CARE ABOUT ANYTHING BESIDES CHOPSTICKS?"

"No." Duke said, in a tone that showed he clearly wondered what else is there to care about.

"Do you realize you are obsessed with chopsticks?" she asked.

"Of course." Duke bobbed his head.

"Good... recognition is the first step to solving the problem."

"It's not a problem." Duke defended. "If you were obsessed with chopsticks too, you'd be much happier!"

She started banging her head on her desk.

"That looks like fun!" Duke said, and started banging his head on the desk as well.

At the Kaiba Mansion:
Kaiba struggled against handcuffs as Mokuba successfully locked them around Kaiba's wrist.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Kaiba demanded.

"Because, you have to eat your vegetables." Mokuba told him.

"NEVER!" Kaiba yelled.

"Come on, Seto." Mokuba said, holding out a bowl of peas. "You never know, you might like them, and I have more in case you do." Mokuba added, pointing to a bag of frozen peas.

"You can not make me eat those peas of destruction! Gasp! I know who you are! You're the Cursed Veggie Man!" Kaiba screamed dramatically.

"Well, you won't get any other food until you eat your vegetables." Mokuba answered in final tones.

"I will never give in to you, Cursed Veggie Man! I'll starve before I eat your stinkin' peas."

Mokuba simply shook his head and left, but as he did, he accidently dropped the key to his brother's handcuffs. Kaiba, however, didn't notice.

Kaiba rocked back and fourth slowly, starting to sing to pass the time. He sang the Weird Al version of American Pie; The Saga Begins.

"My, my this here Anakin guy may be Vader someday later, now he's just a small fry. He left his home and kissed his mommy good-bye saying soon I'm gonna be a Jedi... soon I'm gonna be a Jedi... Did you know this junkyard slave isn't even old enough to shave? But he can use the force they say… Did you see him hitting on the queen, though he's just 9 and she's 14? Yeah he's probably gonna marry her someday…"

Suddenly, Kaiba stopped his singing as something shiny caught his attention (the way something shiny always does) It's a key he realized but to what?

Kaiba picked it up, saying to himself "Hey, I bet I can pick the lock on the handcuffs with this!" Successfully unlocking the handcuffs, he grinned with pleasure. "Ha, I'm a genus! I took a useless key and used it to set me free!"

Taking a handful of peas (for bait to catch the Cursed Veggie Man, of course) and started to run.

Kaiba ran out of the house, pausing in the middle of the road to loudly proclaim "Just try and catch me now Cursed Veggie Man!"

A police car came to a halt next Kaiba, "Stop!" the cop called.

In his shock, Kaiba did.

"Do you have any idea how dangerous it is to be in the middle of the road?"

"Not as dangerous by being caught by..." Kaiba paused a moment, to add dramatic effect "…the Cursed Veggie Man!"

"The … Cursed Veggie Man?" The police man asked in a disbelieving tone.

"Yes!" Kaiba said.

"I think you should come with me." the cop said offhandedly.

"Why?" Kaiba asked.

"I believe you might be in need of a mental home." the police man said.

"But I already have a home." Kaiba replied as he was forced in the car.

At the mall:
"Why are we here again, Joey?" Yami asked.

"I need ta get a birthday gift for Serenity" Joey explained

"I don't mean to sound rude, but why do you need us here for that?" Bakura asked.

"Well, I wanna get her somethin' good, so I was hopin' you guys could help."

They had looked in several of the stores when, quite suddenly, Mokuba dashed through the door, gasping for air and talking very, very fast. "Hi. Listen, Seto never eat his vegetables, and today I tried to make Seto eat vegetables, and I had to handcuffed him, but he still wouldn't eat them, and he called me the Cursed Veggie Man!"

Mokuba paused quickly to take a breath "and not he's gone! You have to help me", he could be anywhere!" he finished, looking at Bakura in particular.

They all stared back blankly, needing time to figure out what Mokuba said.

"So...why did you come to Bakura?" Joey asked.

"Cause Bakura will help." Mokuba answered simply.

"Why does Mokuba think he will-" Tristan began to ask Joey quietly, but stopped as he watched Mokuba pull out a good amount of money and handed it to Bakura.

"That's why." Joey said.

"That dude's smart." Tristan muttered, watching Bakura following Mokuba. They left the store, continuing shopping.

Joey finally decided on getting his sister a pretty music box that played her favorite song. They were about to head out of the mall when they heard someone the toy store snarl "What do they mean? That looks nothing like me!"

Doubling back, they discovered Alister, clutching a box of cherry Popsicles, staring at a Darth Vader action figure.

"Got that right... That doll has a shirt." Yami pointed out dryly, as Alister's shirt looked a lot more like a sports bra than a real shirt.

Joey sniggered.

"It isn't a doll! It's an action figure!" Alister corrected hotly. "And it's an action figure of me!" Alister grabbed a cherry Popsicle from the box. "I have a light saber and I'm not afraid to use it!" he said, and started running, completely ignoring Yami's remark of "Dude, that's a Popsicle, not a light saber."

Alister ran towards the dude in a Darth Vader costume (there was a sale on Star War toys) and tackled him. "How dare you try to impostor me!" Alister yelled, yanking the costume off the poor emplyee and running yet again.

Alister quickly put the costume on outside the mall, running down the street in a very giddy way.

The same cop that was driving Kaiba then stopped Alister. "Why are you in a Darth Vader costume?" the police man asked

"Because, I am Darth Vader" Alister explained, brandishing his cherry Popsicle for effect. "Now move before I hurt you with my light saber-" but he had his 'light saber' for so long it had melted almost entirely and fell off the stick.

"Uh..." Alister lost no time in pulling a second out of the box, but that was melted too. He attempted to run into the near by ice cream shop to get another cherry Popsicle, but the police man had already gotten out of the car and grabbed Alister's arms.

The cop forced Alister into the car along with Kaiba "The two of you are going to a mental home!" the cop sad forcefully.