Disclaimers: See the first chapter.

Snippets From the Potterverse

Chapter 75 - Remus' Fan Club

Remus sat at the table, calmly eating his porridge.

Well, it seemed like he was calm. But inside, he was seething with anger and jealousy.

Why, why, was everyone as strongly attracted to Sirius as he was? It just wasn't fair. Remus loved Sirius and hated for other people to look at him. And yet, he was jealous of Sirius. Why didn't anyone ever fall in love with him?

Well, Sirius had fallen in love with him, and still loved him. But Remus couldn't pretend he wouldn't mind some attention from others every once in awhile. Unfortunately, his lycanthropy turned most people off.

Sirius wandered into the room, fresh out of bed. It was eleven-thirty. "G'morning, love," he yawned.

"Have you been sleeping late?" Remus demanded.

"Of course not, darling," Sirius lied, pulling his hair over his face to hide the sleep creases.

Remus rolled his eyes as he got up to put his bowl in the sink. As he passed his lover, Sirius grabbed him by the waist and pulled him close. "I love you," he said, kissing Remus' forehead.

"I love you too," Remus said, bemused. Sirius was never this affectionate or romantic in the mornings. He was either asleep or randy.

Tonks bounced in. "Wotcher, lads!" She sidled up to them and touched Remus' sleeve. "Good morning, Remus. You're looking so cute today!"

"Er - thanks?" Remus ducked as Sirius made to hit Tonks.

"Step away from the werewolf!"

"Aww, but he's so cute," she protested.

"Stop arguing," Mrs. Weasley had entered the kitchen. "Remus is attractive, but he wouldn't want you, Tonks. A motherly woman is more for him." She smiled sweetly at Remus. Sirius ground his teeth.

"Molly, I'm warning you -!"

"Shut up, Black," snapped Snape, sweeping through the door clutching a small cauldron. "Your Wolfsbane potion, Mr. Sexy," he purred, sidling up to Remus, who began to sweat as he backed away.

"Get out of here, Snivellus!" Sirius roared, hurling a saucepan at Snape's head and missing by inches.

"I could sell you a black-market sex toy, Lupin," Mundungus contributed. "Like... me, perhaps!"

"Dung... d'you have a death wish!" Sirius yelled, flinging a mayonnaise jar at Mundungus' head.

"Siri, calm down," Remus said, alarmed.

"Oh, Remus," said Bill, appearing out of nowhere, "You're looking awfully hot today. Can I help you remove some of those clothes?"

"ARRRGH!" Sirius hurled a handful of silverware at Remus' admirers, scattering them. He tightened his grip around Remus' waist and glared at his opponents. "Remus is MINE, and I'll prove it, even if I have to take him right here, in front of you all!"

"Please do!" cried Tonks.

"AAARGH!" Remus woke up with a scream. Sirius stirred beside him and mumbled sleepily, "Wha's it, love?"

"I think Ron's toadstool dreams are contagious," Remus gasped.