Disclaimer: No already! Sheesh… I do not own LotR.
Warnings: Non-con, thus rated R… M… whatever else that might be…
Sorry 'bout all grammar and/or spelling mistakes.
Wow, sorry 'bout the long wait! My other fic was giving me trouble, but I was determined to write that chapter up. And finally did… after writing a one-shot for FFVIII. n.n;;; ..:shrugs:.. This chapter is… prob'ly the longest one I've written for this fic… and is also the last. ;-; I hope you all enjoy it.
I gotta hurry, man. Almost time for me to leave for practice. …I don't get why I always type this part last… When I first typed this up it was time… XD
Oh well… enjoy and don't forget to tell me what you think, 'kay? n.n
Unforgivable Pain
Chapter Twenty-five: Nervousness
"Estel?" Legolas suddenly questioned looking over at his human companion sitting next to him against a tree.
Aragorn locked his gaze with the elf's, wondering why he sounded so stern. "What is it, mellon-nin?"
"I… I have been thinking…" the blonde started; now sounding uncertain. "I want to know what happened when you, Elladan, and Elrohir went after S-Selaedir. I know not if he is even really dead, I just assumed so." His voice had begun to waver after the name. He swallowed thickly, trying to control himself. He had to know, if only for his piece of mind.
The ranger's eyes widened in surprise, for his friend hadn't spoken of the human since he had briefly explained his fear of Aragorn. That had been almost a week ago. He had known the archer wanted to know what had happened; he couldn't believe he had forgotten to tell him. He had just been overwhelmed with joy at the amount that Legolas had been recovering by. He had been focused only on helping the elf and nothing else.
"I'm sorry, Legolas," he said sincerely. However, the blonde just shook his head, showing it to be alright and that he just wanted the human to continue.
"Are you sure?" he asked in concern. He knew Legolas was ready, though. Why else would he have brought it up?
"Well, first we had to track him down, which, as you know, took a while," the ranger started without waiting for the elf's response. "We found him by… your tracks. No, I shall not say anything more on that," he added after seeing Legolas open his mouth to speak. He did not wish to tell him that they had followed his heavy footprints and even his blood. No, that would not do at all, and who knew how it would affect the scarred elf.
He continued on with the recollection, telling the elf exactly what had happened, though he did not tell him the things Selaedir had said about him. That certainly wouldn't have helped.
Aragorn watched his friend closely when he was done, unsure of what his reaction might be. To his surprise Legolas brought his gaze back to his and said, "Hannon le, mellon-nin," with a small smile.
However, the ranger noticed the way the blonde's body was shivering. "Are you alright?" he asked to make sure.
"Aye," the archer said quietly. "Would you like to resume our walk?"
Aragorn knew the elf was just trying to change the subject and he let him. He wasn't going to push the fragile elf.
Therefore, he nodded and stood up. He helped Legolas and, once again, felt the trembles wracking the thin frame. Deciding to not comment on it, he walked beside the elf, going where he wished. Fortunately, Aragorn's side had healed enough to where it didn't constantly pain him, in fact it was almost completely healed... he just had to be careful still.
The two friends walked mostly in silence, only speaking every once in a while since Legolas had a lot on his mind. He was relieved that Selaedir was dead and could never come after him again. He was also glad that they had freed the other captives. The sadistic human had even used them against him, for he had found out how much Legolas had hated to see the innocent suffer, and needlessly. Now, everyone was free of his torments… except for him. He would never forget what he had been put through, no matter how much he wished it.
"Estel, do you know where Elrond is?" he suddenly spoke up, startling the human from his thoughts.
Aragorn had to think for a moment before the question registered. He hadn't expected the elf to talk to him yet; certainly not about his father.
"I think he is in his study," he finally answered, briefly remembering his father mentioning it to him in case he should need help, though he hadn't recently. There had only been one time after a rather nasty nightmare the elf had had, but not since… Thank the Valar. That had not been a fun experience, to say the least.
"Why?" he asked curiously, it had been really random after all.
Legolas had changed their direction, turning back around, now heading towards the study.
It took a minute before he finally said, "…I wish to speak with him."
Aragorn said nothing in return and just watched the blonde. The elf was silent, his head lowered as if he wasn't too sure of what he was doing, but his voice alone had told him that. He wondered why Legolas was so unsure of speaking with his father. What was he going to say to him?
He let it go. He would find out soon enough.
Soon the two of them arrived at their destination, the wooden door the only thing separating them from their goal.
Legolas knocked on the door hesitantly, softly, almost too soft for the one inside to hear.
With the elf-lord's "come in" they opened the door and did just that.
"Legolas," Elrond said in surprise. It was usually only his sons that came to him in his study as of late or the elf king. The younger elf had only visited once before since his arrival. "What's wrong?" he asked, frowning in concern when he noticed the blonde's nervous behavior.
"Do you want me to get your father?" he tried again after getting no response as the archer continued to fidget and shift nervously in place.
"Nay, I… wish to speak with you," Legolas finally said. Why did he feel so agitated? There was no need. He merely wished to talk to him… no need at all.
"Alright," Elrond said slowly. "Have a seat." He gestured to a nearby chair. When Legolas sat down he took a chair and pulled it next to the younger elf, sitting across from him.
Aragorn sat down in a chair that was father away from them, not wanting to interfere; not wanting to leave.
Elrond waited patiently for Legolas to speak, letting him take his time. He didn't know what the archer had to say and didn't want to discourage him in any way.
"I really just wanted to thank you for everything, for putting up with my recent behavior, and helping me so much. I would not be here now if not for you," Legolas finally spoke up, looking directly into the elf-lord's eyes, showing his sincerity. "I honestly know not how you put up with my erratic attitude."
Aragorn and Elrond stared at the blonde in surprise. That was what he had been so nervous about?
"You should know that I shall do anything and everything possible to help you, penneth," the elder elf said caringly, quickly shaking himself away from his shock.
"I knew of nothing when I first came here." At the elf-lord's confused look he continued, "I thought that no one would accept me and that none of you would love me."
Elrond gaped at the younger elf, not believing his words (Aragorn had a similar expression of disbelief). "How… Why would you think such a thing?" he asked, though he knew, without a doubt, that it had been Selaedir who had implanted such a horrid thought in the vulnerable elf's mind. Because of this he didn't force Legolas to speak the sadist's name and comfortingly said, "I… We shall always love and support you no matter what, Legolas, especially after going through what you did."
Legolas gave a small smile at this assurance – a warm smile, even if small. No one had any idea just how helpful those words were; every time they were spoken, for he still greatly doubted himself and even the others at times. When he first woke it was the worst; then, when he saw one of his friends or father, including Elrond, he soaked up all the love he possibly could, needing every last bit.
"Thank you, you have no idea how much that means to me," he stated extremely grateful.
Elrond smiled broadly at the young elf, enjoying the way the elf's face lit up, even at the comment he used to have instilled so deeply into his mind, one that he used to have no doubts of. He was only glad to be able to help the elf, and would do so anytime he possibly could.
Aragorn also mirrored his father's expression, glad that Legolas was losing more of his self-doubt. He hoped they would continue to help the scarred elf.
"Have you been sleeping well?" the healer in Elrond suddenly asked. He had been continuing the sleeping herbs every night, but sometimes the blonde slipped into an exhausted sleep during the day or even fell asleep before he could take the herbs.
It took a thoughtful second before Legolas sourly replied, "As well as I possibly can."
The elf-lord frowned, but still nodded, knowing it to be the truth, unfortunately.
Silence won over as Legolas struggled over whether or not he should ask Elrond something. He was also unsure of how to go about it, for he didn't think the elder would approve.
"Can I practice with my bow?" he quickly asked, deciding to get it out already. It was obvious Elrond – and even Aragorn – had been expecting him to say something.
The elf-lord blinked in surprise. So, that's why he had been so nervous…
He had to think for a moment before the hastily asked question fully processed. Once it had, he did indeed disapprove. He couldn't very well allow Legolas to practice his archery after what he had just gone through, even if he was physically healed.
Seeing the look he had feared receiving, he lowered his gaze to his hands. He should have known not to get his hopes up. He knew the elf-lord would never allow such a thing.
Aragorn truly agreed with his father's obvious decision, however, the sight of his friend's forlorn appearance tore at his heart, and he was sure it did so to Elrond's as well, for it looked like he was beginning to relent.
"I shall go with and watch over him, Ada," he jumped at the opportunity, wanting to help Legolas, even if he was against the idea.
The golden head lifted and the blue orbs locked with Elrond's expectantly.
The elder elf let out a defeated sigh. "Alright, but you cannot strain or over-exert yourself. Is that clear?" he gave in. He knew that Aragorn would watch over the young elf and make sure he wasn't causing any harm to himself. He also knew the human would be more lenient with the elf, but he wouldn't let him go overboard with it.
Legolas grinned widely at this response. "Hannon le!" he said enthusiastically.
Standing up, he hesitated for a moment before he hugged Elrond. "Thank you for everything," he whispered earnestly, his eyes closed.
The elder elf returned the hug, touched by the blonde's actions. He knew it must have taken a lot of courage for him to be so close to someone after what he had gone through. "I am proud of you, penneth," he said softly, and that was an understatement. The archer had done what no other elf had ever done: survived a rape and a brutal one at that. Not only that, but he was now able to interact with others, even if still wary of the ones not close to him. He was still down-right scared of complete strangers, however. They were still extremely proud of him, though. When it had seemed like all was lost, he had bounced back, even if it had taken a while. It was still a miracle. It had been tough for everyone, most of all Legolas; it was still tough for him.
"Thank you," the archer repeated sounding choked up. Out of everything that had been said during their conversation, that had touched him the most. For someone to be proud of him for being so weak was beyond his comprehension, but he knew the elf-lord was completely serious and that he would never lie to him.
Legolas pulled back from the warm embrace when he could no longer suppress his need to back away from bodily contact. It had been longer than he had thought it would originally be, at least.
Elrond stood as Legolas pulled back. Placing his hands on the younger elf's shoulders, he looked directly into his eyes that were rapidly blinking, trying to keep the tears from falling. "Never lose the light within your heart, Legolas, and never lose sight of who you truly are. Never forget that we shall always love you, no matter what," the elder elf said lovingly, his voice strong, instilling these words forever in Legolas' mind, where he would always draw upon them during moments of insecurity.
This time, when tears started to trickle silently from the blonde's eyes, neither Elrond nor Aragorn grimaced or felt sad in any way. They knew they were tears of joy and relief.
The elf-lord patted the archer's shoulder caringly after minutes of comfortable silence. "Well, I'm sure your bow is screaming at your by now. You should not keep it waiting any longer," he said with a grin.
He gently wiped a tear from Legolas' face with his thumb, repressing a frown when the blonde started to shift back from the contact.
"Sorry," said elf muttered, ashamed of his reaction.
"Don't be. There is no need," Elrond said softly, comfortingly. "Now, stop all this self-blame nonsense and show Estel a thing or two about archery," he told the blonde with a wide smile, making sure the younger elf knew he wasn't trying to be rid of him. While the elf-lord did have a lot of work to do, Legolas was far more important; now more than ever.
Legolas smiled back, no more tears falling. With another "thank you" – which Elrond thought had been the hundredth time that conversation – the blonde left the study, glad that he had decided to talk to the elder elf. He would have to thank his father as well, but he'd do that after he got some archery done, for his bow had indeed been screaming at him for attention.
Aragorn hugged his father tightly before quickly joining his friend.
Elrond smiled and shook his head at his son's behavior. His smile only grew when the human hurried after the younger elf and when he realized just how well the traumatized elf was recovering. He definitely hadn't been lying when he said he was proud of him. It was unbelievable really, with how he had recovered in the first place.
He flopped back into the chair he had been sitting in previously with joy replacing the utter despair he had had over Legolas' condition.
"Thank the Valar," he whispered in appreciation that ran as deep as a river was long.
He grinned when he saw his door open again, knowing it to be only one person, since they were the only one that no longer knocked and hadn't for millennia.
"You are in a good mood," the tall blonde elf said with a smile of his own, Elrond's was just too contagious.
"I have some very good news," the elf-lord replied with excitement. He was sure Thranduil would appreciate Legolas' current condition just as much as he did.
"Oh?" the elf king inquired, raising his eyebrows.
Legolas carried his bow and a quiver to the training area, not wanting to push his luck. He had made his own arrows within the last few days after he had repaired his bow, with material provided by Aragorn, of course.
The quiver was borrowed, for he did not have time to make a new one as of yet. He had been too busy with the arrows and everything else that had been going on in his all too confusing life-style now.
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't nervous about this. He hadn't shot his bow in probably three months, much longer than he had ever gone without doing so since… well, since he had first practiced, learning how to aim, draw the string correctly, the placement of his fingers while holding the arrow steady, and everything that came with a bow.
Aragorn walked alongside his friend, not wanting to break the silence, for the elf was obviously thinking. He wanted to give him words of encouragement, however, at the moment he knew they would be of no use. Legolas needed to do this on his own.
When the elf stopped he made sure to stand back far enough so he wouldn't be in the blonde's way.
Legolas strapped the quiver onto his back. When he was sure it was secure, he drew in a deep breath to calm his nerves. He inspected the bow one more time to see that it truly was fixed, even though he knew this all too well, for he had checked too many times to count. He just couldn't believe it had been repairable or that he even had it back in the first place.
He held the bow before him, fine tremors wracking the elegant weapon as the elf's hands shook.
Legolas took another deep breath and let it out shakily, forcing his nerves to settle.
He drew an arrow and notched it, aiming at the target before him.
He closed his eyes for a moment, taking deep, even breaths, exhaling through his mouth. He forgot all about Aragorn's presence as he focused on the nature around him, the warm rays of the sun against his skin, the sound of the bird's songs, rushing water from a fountain of stone, the sound of the wind picking up the leaves and dancing with them as it caressed him, playing with his golden hair.
Opening his eyes, he was calm, all nervousness gone as he drew back the string, the feel of his bow back in his hands the only thing he cared about.
He released the string, not even aware of doing so… he just did what his fingers told him.
Aragorn found himself holding his breath when the elf let go of the string. He was amazed at how the archer had transformed from the nervous wreck into his former self: calm and composed; by just holding his bow. At first it tore at his heart the way Legolas had felt so unsure of himself, that was so rare of the wood-elf and the human never thought he would have seen it… then again he had been seeing a lot of things like that recently… He was beyond relieved at the archer's demeanor afterwards, though.
The green and gold fletched arrows hit the target with a loud thunk as it was embedded into the tree.
Legolas frowned slightly at the arrow's location. It had been really close. The arrow was mere centimeters from the intended target. He was disappointed in himself but not deterred or any less determined. It was his first time after how long now? Besides, he had been gravely injured before, too injured to even consider picking up his bow, physically as well as emotionally. That must have been the longest he had ever gone without even thinking of picking it up, though that had also been because he had thought it was gone forever.
Archery was the one thing that no one could take from him… not ever.
He took out another arrow – Aragorn silently applauding him for his courage – and notched it. This one would make it, even if he had lost confidence in everything else he knew he'd make this. Archery was his forte. No, he would not miss.
With these thoughts he released the arrow.
The green and gold blur raced to its target, the wind not able to take it off course as it hit dead on.
Aragorn smiled broadly at the sight. This had been what his friend had really been waiting for; this was what he had been looking forward to.
The human was immensely glad that the archer had had the chance to do this again. Valar, what would he have done if Legolas hadn't made it past his grief? He didn't even want to think about it. Instead, he watched as the elf practiced his unmatched skills, now hitting the target every time with ease.
The ranger was surprised when Elladan and Elrohir (who had also fully recovered) joined his side. The elder twin put his arm around his shoulders, a grin covering his face; the younger twin matching his expression.
He smiled back and then they all turned to watch the blonde.
Legolas' face was calm as he pulled back the string and released the arrow, hitting the target. What his body language didn't betray, was his inward excitement, his huge grin, his absolute relief.
Two elves stood on the balcony overlooking the archery training area, both had a smile plastered on their faces as they watched.
Both knew just how much fun the young elf was having, and how much he was enjoying himself.
"This is how it should be," the blonde one said softly, staring at his son below.
"Aye," Elrond agreed, smile growing as he watched yet another arrow hit its mark.
;-; And that's the last chapter. Sadness, man. ;-; Longer than usual, and I really hope you guys all enjoyed it. Let me know what you think please. You know you want to review… it's the last chapter. n.n I'm actually fairly pleased with it, and you all know how often that doesn't happen, especially with the chapters that are on the lighter side with less angst. n.n;;
Well, prob'ly everyone knows, but review responses are no longer allowed. So freakin' messed up! If you get the petition make sure you sign it! They shouldn't take away our ability to be able to talk to our reviewers! Because of this, I have written the responses on a different page; if you wish to view them please do. I love being able to respond to you guys. It's at http/ www . geocities . com / indeath666 / rr . html. Sorry 'bout the spaces and whatnot, but FF . net doesn't allow sites either… They're getting way too many rules, and incredibly stupid ones at that. You also need to put in the colon and the other slant thingie in the beginning. Sorry for the inconvenience.
I have also decided to start my own site for fics… any kind (except Mary-sues and self-insertions). Go to my profile page for more info. Please check it out. I need the support. n.n
Thank you everyone for your continued support on this fic! I was so unsure of starting this and am extremely glad of the responses I've been receiving. A special thanks to empath89. You always review for my LotR fics, hardly ever missing a chapter… if you even have, and it's greatly appreciated, you have no idea. So thank you; to everyone. Your support was really needed and I'm glad you gave it. n.n They were really encouraging.
I will be posting more LotR fics… already have one planned and started actually. In fact here's a little preview to it.
Bound
He laid there shivering as his exhausted mind tried to block out the pain. He laid there in a puddle of water, freezing water that they had dumped on him to shock him into awareness when he had drifted, drenching him throughout. He laid there, unable to think as wave after wave of agony crashed over him, leaving him gasping for breath around his groans of misery.
His blonde hair hung in front of him in bloody clumps, clinging to his face. His clothes tattered and useless, sticking to him, dried blood acting as an adhesive.
He knew he had to get up. He had to leave; find help. He had to survive. He had to get back to Aragorn. This he knew, but he was so tired. So very tired…
- - - -
So, there ya have it. Short? Yes, but that's all you're getting' for now. If you want more watch for it. It's goin' to be called Bound, btw. I'm not sure exactly when it's going to be up, but it prob'ly will be soon. Hope you're interested. n.n
Just to answer a couple of questions that have popped up. No, Bound will not be slash. As much as I'd love to make it slash, I think this fic would be easier to write if not. ..:shrugs:..Worry not, my fellow slash-lovers, I shall be writing more slash soon enough. In the meantime if you wish to read an LotR slash from me go read Heart's Truth. n.n I don't think there will be a sequel to this fic either. I'm happy with where it's at and that is rare for me so I do not wish to mess it up. Besides, I think this ending fits. n.n
Thanks again everyone for your encouraging words! n.n Hope to see you all soon.
And now, I'm off to volleyball practice… Well, when I first typed this up… XD
..:sighs:.. Now, I can't put a freakin' dash in the summary. A dash! ..:shakes head:..
Ja ne
