Chapter 15

Another Step

Kagura walked up the stairs, strangely aware of Sesshomaru just at her elbow. It had been a wonderful evening…. They had dined together, though not saying much at all. And now it was like he was taking his date back from the prom. They had to figure out what would happen then. "Ahem." Kagura said as she reached her door. "Well, thanks for walking me home."

Sesshomaru smiled. The girl humored him. "My pleasure."

They stood there awkwardly, both leaning in for a kiss. But as soon as they did, there was no more uncertainty. A second later, they were entwined in the other's arms, and they had no plans to untangle themselves. Sesshomaru's breathing was ragged as he looked her in the eye. "Are you sure about this?" Kagura didn't even bother to answer him, just pulled him into her room, shutting the door quickly behind her.


"Sessh, I really think you should get soundproof walls." Inu Yasha said the next morning. Sesshomaru and Kagura paled quickly. Shit.

And now what? Kagura wanted to ask Sesshomaru. There was no doubt, they were "together"… But how she have let things go so fast? It was just one moment of temptation, and voila! It wasn't as if she could take it all back, and she didn't particularly want to. Still things were so strange. She knew that he was wondering what had happened, because he was normally so in control. He had lost that control, and he knew it. And the worst part to her was that he hadn't really confessed his feelings. She had just slept with him, after only one date, not even a single "I love you". What if she was just a one-night stand? Kagura felt a twinge in her heart when her mind came around that thought.

Inu Yasha chuckled at their expressions, amazed at how things could change after just one night. Well, he wouldn't want to be intruding for much longer now… "Sessh, bro, it's been good around here. But I think I should, you know, bow out and let you two have your fun without disturbance." Kagura blushd bright red. "Thanks and all. I'm gonna go pack." He walked out of the room without hesitation. It was only then that Kagura turned to look at Sesshomaru…

"So how come you weren't in bed this morning?" She asked him coldly. That was always a bad sign.

"I had important matters to attend to." Sesshomaru answered stiffly. Indeed, a call had come from Kohaku's company… and he found himself thankful for it. Had he not left, they would be having this conversation much sooner. And soon enough –

"Do you love me?" Kagura asked him boldly.

"You never were afraid to speak your mind, were you?" Sesshomaru returned. The truth was, he didn't even know. He had succumbed to a strong urge yesterday night, but he didn't know if it was just lust, or something much deeper. What would become of himself and Kagura now? These were such strange circumstances… living together, spending time every day, and now this. He was never the kind to be mushy, outright with his feelings. Sesshomaru was more withdrawn, and that had probably proven to be a problem with Kagura, who was just the opposite.

"Cut to the chase. Do you love me, or was that just some one night stand for you?"

Sesshomaru felt insulted. How dare this girl accuse him like this. "You think I'm that kind of person?" What if it had been a one night stand for her? "I don't know if I love you, but I will never be the one to pick up someone then drop them the day after!" Before he knew what he was saying, the words had fallen out of his mouth.

"So you don't love me." Kagura said softly. Sudden tears stung at the corners of her eyes, and she had to turn away to conceal them. Shoulders shaking lightly, she ran away. How could he be like this? Why didn't he love her back?

"Kagura!" Sesshomaru shouted after her. "I never meant it like-"But did he? She was close to him, but he just wasn't certain. It was just that he was so estranged to these feelings, he didn't know what to do! Kagura was so unique and beautiful and wonderful and delicate and a million other things. He had promised to protect her, but at that time, he had thought of her as a sister. So many strange things had happened since then.

Then he remembered his mother's words, "Picture your world without them. If you cannot bear the sorrow, then that is love."

And then it was all clear to him. Sesshomaru believed in everything his mother had ever said, for she had been so wise beyond her years. And he knew, if Kagura left his world, he'd be devastated. It hurt to think about it. So now, he had his answer. He did love her.

And from above him, he swore he could hear his mother's laugh, and there was a faint scent of lavender.


Kagura wept openly, sitting at the beautiful gazebo in Sesshomaru's garden. Even the beautiful flowers around her couldn't make her happy today. She knew she loved him, sure as anything. But if he didn't love her back, what was the point? It was practically the same thing as a one-night stand. Sesshomaru, with his cold, calm essence, he was just so unnerving. She had never met anyone like him, and she doubted that she ever would. If only they could be something more! Kagura cried louder. What's the point in me staying here? Time dims the pain, but I have no contact with the outside world! I feel so caged in. This is even worse than when I was with Naraku!

Thinking of her father made her think of those times, so long ago it seemed. When she first met Sesshomaru, for instance. How different things were now.

Perhaps I can ask him to leave, Kagura thought to herself. Yes, that'd be better, for now at least. I need to leave this place, move on. I never did like staying in one place too long, especially with nothing to do. I must ask him.

Footsteps coming her way.

Kagura turned around, wiping her eyes as quickly as she could. "Sesshomaru, I have something to ask you."

Sesshomaru cocked an eyebrow like he always did. "Well, I have something to tell you too, but you go ahead." He was sure that telling her he loved her would make her gloriously happy, but he might as well let her go first. He wondered whatever she could possibly want. He'd do anything to make her happy, but they'd have a long time to make happy memories. Or so he thought.

"Sesshomaru, I want to leave this place."

Sesshomaru couldn't believe his ears. She wanted to leave him? For how long? Why? Would she come back? Was it his fault? A million questions raced through his head. If she loved him, why would she want this? Suddenly, doubt and hesitation filled him. "What do you mean?" He truly didn't understand…

"I mean that I just want to go somewhere. This place is great and all, but I miss being free." Why was it that when she told him this, there was sorrow in his eyes?

"Will you be coming back? Where will you go?"

"I… I don't know. As for where, I suppose just anywhere. I know it's probably too much to ask, and I'd be taking money from you and everything, but…" Kagura hesitated. She felt so awkward, asking him about this. "I'd really like it."

"You wouldn't be coming back?"

"I…" Her uncertainty answered the question for her. She didn't want to come back, but she would if he forced her to. And of course, he didn't want to do that. He wanted her to feel at ease. Sesshomaru felt cold disappointment in his heart. He thought for sure that his mother would guide them together, but it seemed like she was against this. But why? I was going to tell her I loved her…

"Well." Sesshomaru didn't know what to say. He wanted her to be happy, but what if they could work things out? What if he regretted letting her go for the rest of his life? Sesshomaru looked up at the heavens. I want to be selfish…

But I can't.

How ironic. "Picture your world without them. If you cannot bear the sorrow, then that is love." He had just figured out that he could never live without Kagura, but now he might have to.

"Kagura…"


yay fun eh? i guess this is a mini cliff hanger, but not quite. btw, there r only lik 5 chappies left. i didnt want 2 drag everything out 4 2 long, but if you don't like the ending, i suppose i can write for longer... n e wyz, thx so much 4 ur reviews guys, they totally help tons. i hope u keep reading :P