Disclaimers: See the first chapter.
Snippets From the Potterverse
Chapter 88 - Fetch, Oooboo, Fetch
Remus wasn't the only one trying to find a job. Bellatrix was searching for a job as well. It had all been Voldemort's idea.
"All my Death Eaters, you must go out into the Muggle world and get Muggle jobs!" he had announced at the latest Death Eater meeting. "This way, we can infiltrate the Muggles, see how they work, see what makes them tick, and use our superior knowledge to KILL them all!"
It was a good plan, at least in Bellatrix's mind. So, she was searching for a job.
While wandering around Wiltshire one day, she happened upon a building with a HELP WANTED sign in the window. She looked up. "Willie's Driving Range", the sign read.
Bellatrix went inside. A Scottish man with a flaming-red beard and moustache and a gleaming bald head was sitting behind a desk, punching numbers into a strange machine. A nameplate on his desk read simply: WILLIE.
"Excuse me," she said.
"Ach! Lassie!" The man's eye wandered over her. "What can I be helpin' yeh with?"
"I noticed a HELP WANTED sign in your window," Bellatrix said.
"Ach! Lassie! Yeh be the answer to m'prayers!" Willie stood up and crossed over to her. He seized her hand and pumped it wildly. He was wearing a red-and-green kilt which exposed his bony, hairy knees to the world. Bellatrix forced a smile.
"When can I start?"
"Right now!" he trumpeted, handing her a pair of tan trousers and a green golf shirt. "Just go in me loo and change!"
She did as she was told. When she emerged, Willie beamed and handed her a bucket. "Come with me, lassie! Ach!"
Bellatrix followed Willie out a back door. She found herself gazing out at a large green field. Huge signs marked white lines painted on the grass, proclaiming how many yards away each line was. Several Muggle men in clothes similar to Bellatrix's were hitting golf balls across the field.
"Ach, lassie! Yeh job's to go out there and pick up all the balls!" Willie said, gesturing towards the field. "Think yeh can do it?"
"O-of course," Bellatrix said, her smile faltering. This hadn't been exactly what she had had in mind when she had decided to look for a job. But this place seemed popular with Muggles, so she started to head out onto the field.
"Wait lassie!" Willie handed her a helmet. "Yeh should wear this! Danger of hittin' yeh head, there is!"
"Um, okay." Bellatrix strapped on the helmet. She felt ridiculous. She headed out onto the field.
She saw a ball right away. She picked it up and dropped it in the bucket.
"This is easy," she said to herself.
She saw another ball and picked it up. This was beginning to feel like an Easter egg hunt, only the eggs had been hidden by a group of mentally challenged trolls. She picked up another ball.
Bellatrix didn't realise that she was drawing closer and closer to the men with the golf clubs. Suddenly she heard a shout. "There's the ball kid!"
And suddenly, a barrage of golf balls flew straight towards her!
"Auuuughhhh!" Bellatrix was pelted with ball after ball. She was being hit so often that she couldn't even pick up the balls after she was hit by them!
"Waargh!" Bellatrix dropped her bucket and fled. The men kept hitting balls at her, until she reached the safety of Willie's office. She slammed the door behind her and let out a shuddery sigh.
"Ach! Lassie! Ready fer yeh break?"
"I QUIT!" Bellatrix yelled at him. "CRUCIO!"
