Disclaimers: See the first chapter.
Snippets From the Potterverse
Chapter 89 - Intense Rivals
Sirius was glaring.
He was glaring at Trent Reznor.
More accurately, he was glaring at a picture of Trent Reznor which was in the copy of Rolling Stone clutched in his hand. It was a mighty glare, Sirius' eyes narrowed to slits and a fierce scowl twisting his face into an ugly mask. If he could have, Sirius would have burned holes through the magazine with his eyes. If looks could kill, and if glaring at magazines acted as some sort of voodoo curse, then Trent Reznor would have almost certainly dropped dead wherever he was currently standing.
Tonks had been watching this for several minutes. Finally, she decided to speak up.
"Er... Sirius... you've been glaring at that magazine for twenty minutes. What's wrong?"
"This," he said brusquely, shoving the magazine in her face.
Tonks pried his fingers off it and moved it far enough away that it didn't just look like a black blob to her. She drooled. "There's nothing wrong with Trent Reznor. Nothing at all."
"What are you, insane?"
"Are you?" she countered. "You like men - how can you not say he's gorgeous?"
"I like Remus," he corrected her, his jaw sticking out stubbornly. "That guy's a - a - goblin!"
"Er - yeah," Tonks mumbled. "What brought this on, might I ask?"
Sirius scowled harder and swiped his hair out of his eyes. "He's a jerk, that's what."
"You've never even met him!"
"So?"
Tonks glanced back down at the photo. She looked back at Sirius. "What makes him a jerk? It can't be his money, you have plenty of that. It can't be his fame. You're just as famous - or infamous - as he is. It can't be the girls he must get - you don't like girls. It can't be his looks - you've got those, too. So why the need to call him a jerk?"
Sirius refused to answer. Tonks waited, looking from her cousin to the photo and back. Then, quite suddenly, it hit her. "It's the beard stubble!" she gasped, leaping to her feet. "That's it, isn't it? You're mad because he's nearly as stubbly as you, right? I'm right, aren't I?"
He gritted his teeth. "And if I am?"
Tonks began to laugh. She laughed so hard she had to drop the magazine and hold her stomach. Tears streamed from her eyes, making her glittery purple eyeliner run. "Oh, come on! Sirius, you are just too stupid sometimes!" she choked out, bent nearly double. "Jealous of someone just because they're as stubbly as you are! Wait until I tell Remus!"
"No way! Remus will want to see a picture - and dammit, he'll fall in love with that nerd!"
"I wouldn't blame him," Tonks replied saucily. "Trent Reznor's probably a lot smarter - and a lot less concerned with who's as stubbly as him - than you are!"
"Shut up," Sirius grumbled, tossing the magazine into the wastebasket and striding out of the kitchen.
Tonks waited until a door slammed upstairs before taking the magazine out of the garbage. She rolled it up and stuck it in the pocket of her jeans, then skipped out of the kitchen. She opened a door and Trent Reznor stepped out, looking disgruntled.
"What a jerk," he muttered.
"Pay him no mind. Now, where shall we go for dinner?..."
