Disclaimer: Still not mine. Grrr.
CHAPTER TEN
DOINK-DOINK
Munch arrived very early the next morning, still half-asleep. He had spent most of his evening going between working on Maria Sedivi's case and worrying about Caroline before falling asleep at his kitchen table and waking with a terrible crick in his neck. Cragen was already there, drinking his way through what was probably his third coffee that morning.
"Morning," said Cragen as Munch approached.
Instantly, Munch felt guilt wash over him as he thought of what his captain would say if he knew he'd been eavesdropped on. All the same, Munch weighed his emotions and decided that worry about his colleague outranked worry about a slap on the wrist.
"Captain, can we talk for a minute?"
Cragen nodded and showed Munch into his office, then closed the door.
"What's this about?" he asked.
"It's about Schmidt," said Munch. "I overheard – well, I heard on purpose, actually – you two talking last night. I know I shouldn't have and I apologize, but I was worried about her. And now I'm even more worried."
Cragen sighed, but did not look angry. Instead, he sat down on his desk and crossed his arms.
"She'll be okay," said Cragen.
"Yeah, but what is she going to do? You saw how she was riding a desk for two weeks. A few months is going to drive her crazy."
"I'd rather her be a little crazy and safe than totally sane and making her condition worse."
"I agree."
"Why are you so focused on her, John?" asked Cragen. "Would you be acting like this if it were Fin who was sick?"
Munch though the use of the word "sick" was a strange way to refer to a pregnancy, and thought it even stranger that Cragen decided to refer to Fin rather than Olivia or someone who could actually be pregnant, but he disregarded it and turned his attention to being annoyed at Cragen's question.
"Of course I would," he said firmly. Cragen eyed him, so he went on. "Look, I know everyone here seems to think I have a raging crush on her, but that's not it. Yeah, we're close, but it's because we were those 'instant best friend' types, you know? The kind of people who just get along pretty easily and are automatically comfortable with each other. But I can say truthfully that if it were anyone in this unit who was…in her position…I would be just as concerned."
"Okay," said Cragen, and he seemed satisfied. "I know you care about her a lot and that she'll tell you anyway, so here's the deal. She's going to keep working for a while, but once she starts chemo, she'll be on a desk until she's done with it. She'll be too weak –"
"Chemo?" Munch interrupted, his heart skipping a beat.
"Yeah. What did you think she was going to do?"
"I…I thought she was pregnant," said Munch sheepishly. "I misunderstood what I overheard."
"No, John," said Cragen, as though he didn't think it odd at all that Munch had assumed Caroline was pregnant. "She has cervical cancer, but they caught it pretty early, and…"
As Cragen told Munch about Caroline's plans, his head began reeling. So she wasn't pregnant after all. Caroline had cancer. That explained everything, including her sister moving out to live with her. It wasn't so someone could help care for a baby, it was so someone could help care for her. While he was pleased to hear that she wouldn't be hearing the pitter-patter anytime soon, especially considering how pro-abstinence she was, he felt a terrible sinking in his stomach knowing how ill his fellow detective was.
A moment later, Cragen's door opened and, speak of the devil, there stood Caroline. Her long hair was pulled back in its usual braid and she wore her typical feminine blouse and tailored slacks with her heavy boots. No makeup graced her face, but she remained cute without it. All of these very usual things suddenly seemed terribly unusual because of the circles under her eyes, the slight swell of her bottom lip as though she had been biting it a lot lately, the paleness of her cheeks, and the very old look on her very young face.
"Hey, Captain," she said in a would-be casual voice. "Hey, John."
"Morning," said Cragen.
"Come in," said Munch.
"Actually, no offense, but I was hoping to talk to Cragen alone, if that's okay…"
"I know what it's about, Caroline," said Munch, and Caroline's eyes widened slightly.
"How did you find out?" she asked, closing the door behind her and speaking in a forced calm manner.
"I eavesdropped last night. I'm so sorry," said Munch as Caroline's mouth dropped open in indignation. "I was worried. You wouldn't tell me what was going on."
"Because I wasn't going to tell anyone except the captain until I was positive that was what was happening!" she said slightly more shrilly. "You had no right to listen in on that conversation, John!"
"I know, and I'm sorry, but –"
"But nothing! How dare you do something like that? I would never do that to you!"
"I already apologized. What more do you want?"
"Look," said Cragen, stepping in before the hair-pulling and eye-poking began. "Can we put that aside for now? Schmidt, what's going on? What do you need?"
"I just wanted to let you know that my surgery's been moved to the sixteenth," she said, pointedly not looking at Munch. "So I have a few more days than I thought to be in the field."
"I don't want you overexerting yourself," said Cragen.
"I won't," said Caroline. "I'll be careful not to. And I guess I'll have to learn to keep my voice down from now on."
Caroline turned on her heel and marched out of the office, leaving the door open behind her. Both Munch and Cragen sighed and looked at each other.
"Well, that went well," said Munch.
