Disclaimer:I don't own the Harry Potter characters. I never will! Everyone belongs to J.K. Rowling, except for Peter's girlfriend Grace. I'm pleased to say I own her.


Glitter, Spice, and Everything Nice

Chapter 2 - The Cross-Dressing Chapter

Sirius yawned widely, treating the entire Gryffindor common room to an unobscured view of his tonsils. "I'm so bored."

Remus didn't even look up from his homework. "Why don't you work on that essay for Transfiguration, then?"

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, Remmie," Sirius said patiently. "I don't need to look at that rubbish. I know it all!"

"Funny, considering it's on all new topics we've discussed," Remus said irritably.

"Ease up, Moony." James grinned. "You know you'll only be having this lovers' quarrel in two days or so, when Siri is rushing to finish the work ten minutes before McGonagall's class."

"If he knows it as well as he says he does, ten minutes before McGonagall's class will be plenty of time," Remus mumbled. He was such a studious, diligent boy that others' refusals to take their studies seriously aggravated him to no end.

James ignored this last and turned to his best mate. "Oi. Siri, the Wanderers are playing the Bats next week."

Sirius sat up, suddenly all ears. The upcoming match between the Wigtown Wanderers, James' favoured Quidditch team, and the Ballycastle Bats, Sirius' most beloved team, was one of high anticipation among Quidditch fans. "Yeah, I know. What about it?"

"I thought we could make it a tad... interesting," James offered. "A gentlemanly wager, if you will."

Remus groaned inwardly. Sirius' eyes were already alight with the look his boyfriend associated with impending trouble. "A wager, eh? What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Not much." James toyed innocently with his quill. "I just thought... well, if I won, you'd have to dress in drag. For the entire day."

There was silence as Sirius and Remus gaped at him. Remus pleaded Sirius silently to decline. But it was too late. The familiar naughty, mischievous smile was creeping across his boyfriend's face. "Deal, Jim. But it goes both ways. If I win, you have to dress in drag for a day. And prance around in front of Evans."

"Then you have to prance around Remus," James said quickly, not to be outdone. "Deal?"

"Deal," Sirius grinned, and the two boys shook on it.

Remus buried his face in his hands and moaned.


The days preceding the Wanderers-Bats match were fraught with anticipation and nervousness. Most of the common room had heard about the wager between James and Sirius, and gossipy tongues had carried the tale throughout the school. Everyone was eager to see the outcome of the bet.

Sirius and James, however, seemed to be untouched by anxiety. Remus personally felt they were siphoning off their worries into him, because he felt worried enough for three people.

But why was he worried? he asked himself one night, staring up at the canopy of his bed. It wasn't as if he was averse to others seeing how stupid Sirius could be - because that was unavoidable, really - so why was he so apprehensive?

Maybe because you think you'll like it, his mind whispered deviously.

Remus rolled over and punched his pillow. Like it? What was there to like about a man in women's clothes? If he had wanted someone in women's clothes, he would have gone for a girl in the first place. Right?

Except that his feelings for Sirius had always been based purely on the wonderful person he was, on his character and his personality, and not his gender. Why does it have to be this way? he asked himself miserably. Why can't everyone see that I've chosen a sweet, loving, wonderful person to be with? Why should it matter if Sirius is a girl or a bloke?

But he was off the subject. He had been trying to figure out exactly why he didn't want the whole of Hogwarts to see Sirius in drag. If it came to that, that is.

His mind tried to present him a picture of Sirius in a pouffy white blouse and a short grey skirt like the one Lily Evans wore with her uniform, but he pushed it away. Squashed it into a ball. Locked the ball in a metal box, swallowed the key, wrapped the box in chains, dipped it in cement, buried the box in the ground, and rolled a boulder over it. That done, he rolled onto his side and fell asleep.

But that thought soon proved to be the Harry Houdini of all fantasies; it escaped its prison many times that night, only to appear in Remus' dreams. No wonder Remus felt distinctly unsettled as he arose the next morning. It took a little extra help from Sirius' makeup kit to cover the shadows under his eyes that day.


James' cousin was also an avid follower of the Wigtown Wanderers, and worked as a curse-breaker for Gringotts. He was on holiday for a while, and to James' immense jealousy, had gotten tickets for himself and his mates to see the match. The only thing James could do was to beg his cousin to owl him with the results of the match immediately afterwards.

Naturally, his cousin and his friends had gotten soused after the match, and the owl didn't arrive until the morning after the game, written in a shaky hand.

-Dear Jimmy - Wanderers won. Head hurts horribly. Mum and Dad say hello. Hope you're feeling better than I am. Best, Will.-

James whooped, and Remus' stomach lurched unpleasantly. "In your face, Black!" James cheered, thrusting the letter into his friend's hands. "Wanderers won! You lost the bet! Better get into your pantyhose and frilly knickers, m'lady!"

Sirius smiled over the top of the letter, before folding it and tossing it onto James' vacant chair. "So I have, Jim," he said pleasantly.

"You're taking this awfully well," Remus said suspiciously.

"I've always wondered what I might look like in a frock, love," Sirius said cheerfully. Then he lowered his voice and winked. "Besides, I'll pay Jim back for this." His voice raised to normal. "So, seeing as today is Saturday, I suppose I have much more of a choice on what to wear. But where shall I get these women's clothes, Jim?"

James smiled smugly. "Lily volunteered to help," he said, ruining Sirius' one escape. "She and her friend Karen are going to make you over."

As if on cue, Lily and Karen popped out of nowhere, their arms filled with clothes and shoes. "Come on," Lily said, dragging Sirius up the stairs to the boys' dorms. Sirius looked back at James, Remus, and Peter and shrugged before following.


"What d'you think they're doing to him?" Remus asked an hour later, as he and James were playing a game of wizard chess.

"Dunno. But I can't wait to see," James chuckled. Remus was frankly amazed that James didn't seem to mind that the girl he was crazy about was locked in a room with his best friend. Remus knew he himself was more than a little jealous at the thought of Lily Evans spending an hour with a nearly-nude Sirius.

"Done!" Lily's voice called. Remus' stomach twisted, and he turned to look as James, Peter, and the other Gryffindors did the same. Lily and Karen were flanking the stairs to the boys' dorms, looking immensely proud.

"This took a lot of work, and more charms than you can imagine," Lily said. "Enlarging the clothes and shoes to fit him... casting glamours on him... you'd better appreciate the results!" she said, glaring in James' direction.

James held up his hands. "Okay, I promise. Now, where is our princess?"

Karen poked her head up the stairs. "Sirius! You can come out now!"

A pause, then the sound of high heels on the stairs. Sirius came into view, and jaws dropped all around the common room.

Sirius was wearing a thigh-high, purple leather miniskirt that clung to him like a second skin. His legs looked amazing; Lily had cast a glamour on them so the hair didn't show. Or maybe Sirius had been talked into shaving his legs. Either was possible.

On Sirius' feet were a pair of glittering silver sandals with six-inch spike heels. His toenails were painted lavender to match the tight t-shirt he wore. Draped over his shoulders was a black feather boa streaked with glittery purple strands, and on his head Sirius bore a black hat with a wide brim, a giant bow, and an ostrich feather sticking up from the band. Purple eyeshadow was smeared on his eyelids, lipstick of a sexy dark red anointed his lips, and gobs of mascara stretched his eyelashes out so long they looked completely fake. Remus could have fainted, and nearly did when Sirius reached his side (walking in tiny, mincing steps that made his hips sway like a girl's) and planted a kiss on his cheek, leaving a smear of lipstick.

Laughter and applause broke out across the room. James was laughing so hard he was crying; Peter was blushing furiously. Lily and Karen looked very satisfied with their handiwork. Remus was heartily embarrassed, even moreso when his boyfriend seated himself on his knee and draped the end of the boa across his shoulders. Sirius looked like the mother - father? - of all prostitutes.

The amazement and incredulous stares continued throughout the day. The Great Hall fell into a stunned silence when Sirius sauntered into lunch as if his outfit were a everyday thing for him, and sat down at the Gryffindor table. Even the teachers couldn't find a word to say. Professor McGonagall looked as though she were on the verge of being ill, but to her credit, she made it throughout the meal without becoming sick.

Regulus, Sirius' younger brother, stormed over from the Slytherin table just as the Marauders were helping themselves to a delicious apple pie. He looked furious as he ran an appraising glance over his brother. When he spoke, his voice throbbed with rage. "You like being a freak, don't you?" he inquired, without so much as a preliminary hello.

"I enjoy it very much," Sirius said calmly.

"Do you even know how embarrassing this is for me? Now I'll be known as the brother of the 'Gryffindor cross-dresser'! God! Just wait until I tell Mum and Da. As if you weren't enough of an embarrassment in our family already -"

"I don't even live with you anymore," Sirius said indifferently. "I don't care what you tell Mum and Da. Tell them I've gotten a bloody sex change, if that's what you want. I don't give a damn what any of you think of me."

Regulus snorted and stomped off. James and Remus raised their eyebrows at Sirius (Peter, intent on his pie, hadn't even noticed an argument had taken place). Sirius just shook his head.

"I don't care," he insisted. "Just forget about him."

He polished off his pie and stood, tugging discreetly at the hem of his miniskirt, which had ridden most of the way up his thighs during the meal. Remus forced himself to look away. He suddenly felt hot, almost feverish. What was wrong with him? First he had been embarrassed, and he still was, but now a new feeling rose in him every time he looked at Sirius' suspiciously smooth legs - oh, Lord, could it possibly be arousal?

Meekly, he followed his friends upstairs.


The rest of the day was torture for the young werewolf. Though the Marauders spent their afternoon doing nothing more nefarious than their homework, Remus was constantly queasy. Every time he looked at Sirius, his eyes were drawn to his lover's legs, arse, lips - hell, even his painted toenails were sexy - and his stomach would do a lazy backflip, making him almost ill.

He stared, too. A lot. Every so often, he would glance up from his work and stare at whatever part of Sirius' body attracted his fancy, until either a snigger or a nudge from James would make him go back to his work. By the time supper rolled around, he felt so ill that he couldn't do much more than pick at his food. It was time to get away. He announced that he was feeling tired, and that he was going to retire early.

Sirius got to his feet, wobbling a little on his shoes. "Wait, Remmie. I'm ready to turn in too. Walking in these shoes all day is exceptionally tiring."

"Er - okay." Remus felt a flush spread across his cheeks as they retreated from the Great Hall. As soon as they were in the entrance hall, Sirius took his arm and smiled apologetically.

"Do you mind? I'm not going to make it up there without help. Damn bloody shoes feel like someone's driven a railroad spike into my leg."

"It's okay," Remus managed. He helped Sirius make his ungainly way to their dorm. When they reached it at last, Sirius collapsed onto his bed with a sigh and gave two large kicks, sending the offending shoes flying. Once they had crashed to the floor, he turned to smile at Remus.

"You know, you never said a word all day about me new look," he pouted, putting on his best Ringo Starr impersonation. Those sexy red lips pooched out. "Hurt my feelings, love."

"What am I supposed to say?" Remus looked away. "If I wanted a woman, I would have gotten one, right? So why would I want a man in women's clothes?"

Sirius pulled him down on the bed and nuzzled his neck. "Because it's sexy, and you know it. Don't deny it. I can tell." He chuckled as Remus, heartily embarrassed, pulled away from him and put a pillow in his lap.

"So what if I think it is?" Remus asked defensively.

"I'd do it more often if you did," Sirius teased, but patted his knee when Remus blanched. "I'm kidding, love."

Remus ran a finger down Sirius' leg, trying to think of a reply. But he realised something, and looked at Sirius accusingly. "This isn't a glamour! You did shave your legs, didn't you?"

"Correction, Remmie. Waxed them." Sirius winked. "No hair for at least two weeks. Evans promised."

Remus' mouth went dry. He tried to lick his lips, running his hand up Sirius' shin and over his thigh. His tongue felt like sandpaper. "You have gorgeous legs," he managed.

His boyfriend's smirk widened. "It's about time you noticed. Come here."

He grabbed the front of Remus' robes and pulled him down for a kiss. Remus' hands moved over the satiny skin of Sirius' thighs before disappearing under the skirt. He gasped.

"Sweet Merlin, Sirius! Are you really wearing girl's knickers!"

"And if I was?"

"How did Evans talk you into that?" Remus asked suspiciously, and another thought occurred to him. "Dear God! Are those EVANS' knickers!"

"Not in the least, I promise," Sirius said. "That would get me killed."

"Then whose are they?"

"My own, if you must know," Sirius said, reddening. "I was... experimenting."

"Experimenting?" Remus asked warily.

"Well, you know... I always kind of wondered what women's underwear was like..." His boyfriend was an apoplectic red by now.

Remus leaned over and nipped at his earlobe. "That's hot, love," he said breathlessly.

"It is?" Sirius said weakly. That had been the last thing he had expected Remus to say.

"Mmm."

"Then you wouldn't mind if I ... took off the rest?"

Remus hit him with a pillow. "Get changed," he said, suddenly businesslike. "James and Peter are coming." His sensitive wolf hearing had picked up the sound of their friends saying goodnight to Lily in the common room.

Sirius whined as Remus changed into his pyjamas and climbed into his own bed. "I thought you liked it!"

"I do," Remus said. "But now is not the time to discuss it." He dropped a rather roguish wink at his mate. "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight," Sirius said, dazed, as Remus' curtains swung shut. He changed into his own pyjamas and climbed into bed. A sudden thought occurred to him just as he was falling asleep.

"I wonder what Remmie would look like in drag..."

To Be Continued.


(A/N: Yeah, I know. I'm going to receive a lot of backlash for putting Sirius in girls' knickers. For dressing him in drag, even! I guess it's not everyone's kink. But dammit, I stand by it! And anyway, Sirius in frilly yellow panties would look a million times better than any cross-dressing old hillbilly man on the Jerry Springer Show. (Whatever happened to that show? I used to watch it every day, and then it disappeared!) Y'know, I just might draw Sirius as he looked in this chapter. Hehehe.

Well, I'm pleased to announce that I've finally gotten a DeviantArt account, so if I DO draw that Sirius, you can see him! As it is, I already have a different cross-dressing Sirius in my gallery. I'd be really thrilled if you could take a look.

r y u - n o - j o o u . d e v i a n t a r t . c o m /

Obviously, you have to take out the spaces after you copy and paste, or it won't work. Why won't let us put up links to web addresses anymore?)