Title: St Bartleby's School For Young Gentlemen

Disclaimer: I don't own Artemis Fowl... although I wish I did...

Summery: This is my first Arty story so, be kind ppl! We've ALL seen Artemis doing what he does best! Being a brilliant criminal master mind :) But, have you ever wondered what his SCHOOL life is like? R&R!

Author's Note: Well, hello! This is my very first Artemis Fowl fic! I've been wanting to write one for some time, but never had the guts to do so :) I had a hard time coming up with a plot... so just bare with me people! I have NO IDEA if this has already been done, because I've never read any Arty fics... Oh yes and this is a betaed version! So if everything else is nice and right and this opening isn't... well that's because I have copied this from my first draft (which is when I had no beta) so shut up if it's all wrong.

&&&&&& - These are for when I jump ahead or change to someone else's POV (Sorry, but it's the only thing they let me use)

Chapter 1: I have no time for girls!

"Come on darling, you're going to be late! What are you doing up there?" called Angeline, standing at the bottom of the grand staircase in the entrance to Fowl Manor.

She was waiting for her son to come down; he had been up in his room all morning, and she knew he wasn't packing since that had already been done the day before, so what on earth could the boy be doing?

"Artemis! If you don't hurry up, you'll be late for you're train!" she yelled again, growing quite impatient. (AN: I have no idea how far Wicklow is from Dublin, so I'm just guessing that Arty goes on a train to get to his school)

At the sound of a door slamming, Mrs Fowl raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow as Artemis Fowl Jr came running down the stairs. This was a rare sight for anyone who knew the family, seeing as though young Artemis never showed any kind of emotion, and hardly ever ran.

He stopped short a few feet in front of his mother and straightened his school blazer.

Angeline smiled, reaching forward and fixing her son's tie, which was draped around the boy's neck, un-done.

"Sweety, what have you been doing? And why aren't you dressed properly?" she asked, watching as the normally immaculate 13-year-old tucked in his shirt.

"Sorry, Mother, I was in a hurry, had a few last minute things to do," Artemis said, running a slender hand through his dark hair.

Angeline narrowed her eyes.

Last minute things, huh? Artemis' "last minute things" always involved some small piece of technology the boy used for... well she had no idea what for, all she knew was that for whatever purpose, it wasn't legal.

Being a mother, she wanted to know what her genius son was up too, but Artemis didn't look as though he would be sharing anything anytime soon, and they where running late, so she let it pass.

"Well, are you all packed?"

The boy nodded.

"All of your clothes?" Mrs Fowl said, glancing over her shoulder at a pile of black leather suit cases that where sitting at the front doors.

Another nod.

"Clean underwear?"

Artemis blushed and nodded again.

"Yes, Mother," he grumbled, hoping no one had heard that. Why mothers always asked that, he would never know.

"Wonderful."

Angeline then turned around and called for some of the butlers to take her sons things to the car.

"Come along, darling," she said happily.

Artemis picked up a black rectangular bag that held his laptop and followed his mother outside.

The car that was taking them to the train station was a sleek stretch limousine, impeccably black, and while Artemis didn't mind taking such a luxurious vehicle, it did bring allot of unwanted attention to them, and the young crime lord liked to distance himself from the outside world as much as humanly possible.

Climbing inside the long car, Artemis sat himself down on the far left hand side and buckled his seat belt.

Angeline sat down beside her son and watched as the boy took out his laptop and began typing away to some unknown program.

She sighed.

It troubled her to see her son cast all his interest in computers and crime and not on normal things, like girls and music.

Artemis had never had a girlfriend, or even a crush for that matter, and while Mrs Fowl knew he was only 13, that didn't excuse the fact that he had never come to either of them, her or his father, to ask for help for his love life.

Angeline had expressed her worries to her husband, but Artemis Sr had just smiled and said that their son was simply a late bloomer.

Mrs Fowl doubted that; their son had done everything early, and in fact, he didn't even need to go to school. Artemis had finished all 12 year's before he was 9; she just wanted him to be around kids his own age.

Juliet was an attractive girl, and she had all the boys in town coming to their door step, seeing if they could take her out.

But Artemis didn't seem to notice her, well, not her looks anyway.

Angeline continued to observe her son as the 13-year-olds pale fingers flew over the keys.

Taking a deep breath, the woman tapped her son on his shoulder.

Artemis looked up from the screen to stare at his mother, his deep blue eyes holding no emotion whatsoever.

"Yes, Mother?" he asked politely.

Angeline smiled, hoping that this question wasn't going to get her son in one of his moods.

"Well, darling, I was just wondering if there was a girl that you have a crush on?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow slightly. Girl? Crush? What was she talking about?

"What do you mean, Mother?"

Mrs Fowl brushed a few strands of hair out of her face.

"I mean, do you fancy anyone?"

The boy tilted his head to one side, thinking.

After a moment of silence he closed his laptop and folded his hands in his lap.

"No," he stated simply.

Angeline frowned.

No, that was silly, there must be someone!

"Are you sure? Or are you just too embarrassed to tell me?" she said, already knowing the answer.

The heir to the Fowl fortune just blinked.

"I'm quite sure, Mother, I have no time for girls, and having a girlfriend will just distract me from my work."

This wasn't the answer she was looking for, although Angeline couldn't be sure her son was telling the truth; the boy had the uncanny ability to hide his emotions.

Artemis looked at his mother for a moment, waiting to see if she had anything else to say. When she just stared at him, he turned to look out of the window.