JOURNAL ENTRY 6: REVEAL, MANIPULATE AND AVENGE
I was now looking at the mirror, as my tears flooded my eyes. This is really weird. I was just so happy and so encourage before, and here I was…
… Crying in the front of the mirror.
I was afraid. I was scared. I didn't know why. My whole body was shivering in fear and horror. I was frozen at the moment I saw my tears slowly falling down my cheeks. I still didn't understand. I suddenly heard a knock in the door. I wiped my eyes and cleared my throat.
"Yes?"
"Faster, Subaru. It's already 30 minutes after six o'clock. We need to be there by seven o'clock."
That voice. I sighed. It's Itachi. So, he was waiting for me all along. I thought he was already outside my room because silence already invaded it. I shut myself up from crying. I tied up the towel around my body and slowly turned the doorknob. I opened the door, and…
… I was surprised when I felt a warm touch in my lips.
I felt his arms around my waist. He was pressing my body against his. I want to step back but there's no turning back. I can't escape from his grip. It was too strong to struggle. He was starting to deepen the kiss when I realized…
… I actually liked it.
He moved his lips apart for a while for me to breathe. I was about to pull away from him, but he deepened the kiss. It was warm, yet so bitter. It was actually entrancing. I wouldn't last long if he continued this. I found myself putting my arms around his neck. A few seconds later, he parted from my lips. I just closed my eyes and my tears started to flood my eyes again. His arms were still at my waist, and my arms, around his neck.
"Subaru, why are you crying?"
He asked me reluctantly. He wouldn't care if I told him what I feel. So I just turned away from him and wiped my tears with my arms. I felt like a stupid lady in front of him.
"It was nothing." I told him.
I walked to the opaque wall again, and dressed up. I still wonder how Itachi took what I just did. He might be annoyed, offended or just he could ignore it. I didn't know. But I left him standing in the front of the bathroom door. I felt bad about what I just did.
… I felt bad to myself to respond to such kiss of…
… An assassin, a ninja, a murderer…
As I finished dressing up, I walked to the vanity table and found Itachi looking at my reflection. My eyes were red, because of crying. He was looking at me. His eyes were bloody red, and were also in bloody curiosity.
"Subaru, why did you cry?"
He asked again. I just sighed. I continued brushing my damp hair with the brush. I was brushing my hair slowly. My eyes were lost in my own reflection, looking desperately for facts to answer the questions in my head. This is pathetic. I knew everything would go back to normal. Except that Itachi wasn't going back to his normal heartless self. He was concerned.
I felt sorry for myself. I shouldn't kiss him. I detested ninjas all of my heart, and here I was, just kissed the man who kidnap me. And, the shower… it awfully reminds me…
… The bloody rain happened many years ago…
That made me cry. My feelings and mourning were bottled up for several years. My tears were nothing but for sorrow and pain. I knew that the bliss I felt a while ago was just a transitory delight. It was more like an illusion, a dream. For the reality check…
… Subaru never felt happiness to last long…
As I finished fixing myself, we both went out of the room. Itachi escorted me to the very badly lit corridor. Nobody of us was speaking. It was all of a sudden. We were both just teasing ourselves for a seduction and now, we were shut by the silence, or…
… Maybe I was just the only one being shut by the stillness?
We arrived at the dining room. I saw different kind of ninjas with the same look at their eyes. The dreadful glare of the assassins, or should I say, murderers. He assisted me to seat at the dining table. He turned his back on me, and positioned himself. He was standing at near the back of my seat.
The dining room was spacious and magnificent. There were beautiful hanging chandeliers. They were sparkling like the stars in the night sky. The plates and other dining utensils were properly arranged, just like what I was seeing at the mansion. The table was a long and wide one. But, seems like there's only two people to eat tonight.
Suddenly, a muscular man entered the room. He was wearing a dark cape same as Itachi when I first saw him. But, he had a different one. There was a glint of greed and selfishness I saw in his eyes. He sat at the other end of the table. He cleared his throat and the other ninjas disappeared in a puff of smoke. Only Itachi was left and Kisame.
"So, Ichikawa Subaru… welcome at the headquarters."
His voice was familiar. I heard it somewhere before. He had an explicit expression of warm welcome in his face. He was seems so contented, yet I felt a power-hungry man hiding in his shadow. He had a scar near his left eye.
… That scar… seems so familiar.
I felt electricity running through my spine. I clenched my fist as I started to remember why this man so familiar in my eyes. His eyes, his glare, his smile…
… He was one of those ninjas who killed my family…
And, I knew, he knows it. I can clearly conclude that in his eyes. His smile had not changed for several years. It was twelve years ago since I saw him and how bloodthirsty and ruthless were his eyes. It was still the same. I felt I was going back to the time I saw him.
"I know you'd become a beautiful lady. With such fragile demeanor and natural grace. It was twelve years ago since I last saw you."
I gulped. I met again the ninja whom if I still remember, the one who killed my older brother, and my sisters. His hazel eyes were starting at me in admiration, and of… lust.
"Twelve years… I wish you cut it short." I told him lackadaisically.
"You already wish you are dead, right? But, Subaru… such ability… or should I say… abilities you have should not be wasted. I've waited for this moment."
"What do you really want from me?"
He asked one of the waiters (don't know if that is a waiter or still a ninja) to serve us the food. The food was enticing, but I felt no hunger in my stomach.
… Just the hunger of revenge and hate.
"Itachi…" he called. "… Make sure she's comfortable here. No one comes close to her except you and Kisame. Is that clear?"
"Yes, Makoto-sama." He replied apathetically.
Makoto (the Master) picked up his chopsticks and started to eat eagerly. He then glared at me and said.
"Why don't you eat, Subaru?"
"I have no appetite on eating right now."
"I respect that. But wouldn't you try some of these viands?"
"No."
He sighed, and then he smirked. He carefully wiped his mouth with the napkin. He started to speak.
"I never thought you'd survive. I haven't heard anything about you after that incident. Such miserable life can be."
"Yeah… you, ninjas made it miserable."
"No, Subaru. It was the Second Hokage's command, and during that time, the Third Hokage continued it, and so as the Fourth. And also the other Kages of other villages."
"It is still the same. Those Hokages are also ninjas right? And, you're a ninja. So, there's nothing to blame but you, and those bloodthirsty… eradicators like you."
"I actually… protested about that command."
"You protested? That's too impossible."
"Yes, I did. It sounded not like me, but I did. I found your clan so powerful same as Uchiha and Hyuuga. I told them that annihilating such race would be a great disgrace in Konoha. I even suggest them to ask for your help. But, still… they found your family such abominable."
"You are the one should be called abominable…" I starting to scream, but I tried to control it. "…You still continued such assassination and agree with it."
"I'm still a blinded ninja… those days were the worst, Subaru."
"Blinded? Excuses… Just tell me what you want from me!" I yelled.
I sharply sighed. I looked at my fist. They were clenched so hard. It was already crimson due to the force I was applying to it. I saw my reflection from the water in the glass. My eyes were shining in hate, yet behind it…
… Hides a unfortunate weak girl looking for her graveyard…
"I'll go straight to the point. I heard of your existence when one of the ninjas reported one incident in Kyboshing mansion."
I remembered that incident. I killed forty wolves all at the same time at the forest near at the mansion, in a flash. It suddenly disseminated to the village. There were sweat drops in my forehead. I just blinked at him.
"She killed forty wolves? So, the news was right! But, that's too impossible. She too weak for those wolves." Kisame said.
"Yes, Kisame. And, I already saw that kind of ability when she was three. Right, Subaru."
I felt I was being interrogated. I felt like cold water was pouring out to me. My heart was beating faster than it's usual rate. I never thought that he still remembered.
"Then… you… saw… it…" I replied.
"Oh yes! I can feel the force of the power within you. I was so astonish to see such ability from a three-year old girl. I was also surprise that you're not using your chakra."
"She's not using her chakra! Could that be possible?" Kisame exclaimed.
"Yes, Kisame. She's not…" Makoto answered Kisame with his eyes glaring at me. I looked sideways to avoid his eyes.
"… The truth, Kisame… it's her bloodline. She can crush, kill and destroy anybody with just looking at it, without any chakra being wasted or used. No, it's not only the clan's bloodline skill. It's one of the Ichikawa's bloodline abilities."
"That unusual." Itachi said. I know he was staring at me. I can feel his eyes, staring at me.
"That's not unusual. It's real, Itachi. It sounded like a legend, but I saw it with my both eyes. Even the past Hokages don't believe in such ability. They stated that they've done a forbidden jutsu. But, I saw everything. Their bloodline abilities were natural to them. One can have two or more. And, Subaru… has five."
I gazed at him at awe. I was surprised that he knew it. My breathing was already short in tension. I didn't want to remember anymore about my bloodline abilities. I've already buried them underneath my memories.
"How. Did. You. Know. About. These?" I asked him wrathfully.
"I was requested by the Fourth Hokage to spy in your hacienda. I saw you training everyday with your sisters. They were also strong, but they've found out that you are stronger than them, so they've trained you so hard for you to become a warrior. Am I right?"
He was right. I was supposed to enroll at the ninja academy. My family and so as my relatives wanted me to become a kunoichi medic. They've planned it so much. I was excited too. So, my sisters trained me everyday and taught me every Ichikawa hidden techniques. I was just a three-year-old kid, and knew everything. I also knew that my clan was forbidden to join the academy. But my father was so persistent. They were planning to change my last name so I could enroll. But, nothing in this plan succeeded…
… After telling me this plan, my clan was murdered, assassinated, and killed…
… And Makoto was one of it…
I can still remember everything. It was the Fourth Hokage back then. They were using different kinds of jutsus. I can still remember how lightning, and all sorts of elemental jutsus killed my father. I was too innocent of those kinds of scenes.
"I know how much hate you have for Konoha. And, Akatsuki wanted so much to destroy and invade Konoha." Makoto said.
"What's the connection?" I asked grudgingly.
"If you're on our side, we can easily destroy Konoha… and so as the other countries. With your abilities, they can be easily eliminated and invaded. If you did that, you've already avenged your family. Through Akatsuki, you can easily avenge your family."
I suddenly calmed down. He was right. With my abilities, I can easily avenge my family, and I can live a peaceful life. I sighed. I have abilities that what more a ninja can do. They can't heal with just bare hands! Nor, killed a very strong warrior without any weapon! This is reality. I was a strong lady. But, there's still a problem. My abilities were out of control since I was become sorrowful and regretful. I didn't know anymore how to start.
"So, I'll give you three days to decide. If you want to have a longer time for my offer, just tell Itachi and Kisame. I'll never hurry you up. You're such a jewel. We are taking a big gamble here." He said. His eyes were sparkling like diamond in interest.
"I'll… think… about… it…" I said with my voice shivering in pressure.
There was a sudden loud cracking sound heard from the table. I was not surprised, yet I heard Makoto laughed greedily. He saw the glasses and even the vases crushed into pieces. It was my fault. Because of my hate and the pressure I'm taking in, I became out of control and caused my first ability to emerge. I lost my grip to my emotions.
"That's what I'm talking about, Kisame! Did you see that?" Makoto said enthusiastically.
Kisame checked the glasses. The glasses were pulverized. It was already fine crystal glasses.
"Whoa! You're a heck of a destroyer!" Kisame praised.
"Unpredictably powerful." Itachi replied.
I just wish that I were just killed by those ninjas twelve years ago. I always wished that my abilities just disappeared. It's not benefit. Albeit, I kept them, it will always emerge. Especially that I haven't use them for a long time and lose my touch.
This is my reality. I can't escape. The fact that I'm a part of a clan known to be as destroyers and annihilators is an inevitable truth. Many times, I have committed to kill myself but there were voices in my head… telling me…
… You still have to exist. You have a mission…
… Establish our clan…
… Clean our reputation…
… We are watching you…
I was pressured by the fact that I wanted to have vengeance, but part of me was telling me not to do it. I was caught in the middle. If this continue…
… It will be the end of me…
A/N: This was the longest chapter so far. I know some the questions were answered by this chapter. Thanks to those who gave me reviews to my last chapters. I was so delighted! Hehe! The last three sentences remind me of Marion Raven's latest release. Anyway, hope you like this one! Please review! Puhlease? I'm out of here. Have a nice day!
