Disclaimer: For the 7th time, I don't own Naruto. If I will be given an opportunity in my next life… I'll be the one who will own it! HAHAHAHAHA! 'Nuff said.

JOURNAL ENTRY 7: GOODNIGHT KISS


I was walking with Itachi and Kisame in the same corridor. It was shadowy. Only the candles hanging on the walls were the source of light. I felt I was walking in an ancient hall or something like that. I was standing at the middle of them both, but walking slower than them. (So I was at their back.) I was staring at the floor with a gaze of a hesitant freak. I felt that my head was already heavy and about to break up from all the questions, lies, and confusions within of it. I felt a sudden ache from the temples of my head. I touched both of them and rubbed it circularly. I suddenly stopped when I hit my head to Itachi and Kisame's shoulder blades.

"Why did you stop?" I asked.

"Just be quiet!" Kisame replied.

So, I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to see why they suddenly stop, so I sneaked my head above their shoulders to see what's in front of them. I tiptoed to clearly see it. Kisame turned his head to his shoulder. He looked at me in bewildered expression. I just gazed his face and smile sweetly.

"Who are they?" I asked.

"None of your business." Itachi replied.

"Humph! I was just only curious who they are."

Yeah. I should expect that kind of answer from a person like Uchiha Itachi. He was a person who doesn't ask because he doesn't care. As long as the mission interests him and get his job done, it's already fine to him. The figures were getting closer to where we are. Slowly, I recognized their features.

There were two men. The one had a very large body. Not really fat, he did have a muscular shape. He had jet black eyes. He was carrying a scythe at his back. The other one was very recognizable. He had very bright eyes. It was golden eyes. They were shimmering in the dark, behind the shadow of this gloomy hallway. He had two katana attached on his waist. This one had a very distinguishing smile and with his platinum blonde hair, he such a very handsome man!

"Uchiha Itachi how's the mission?" The handsome man asked him.

"Fine." Itachi answered.

"Look, Iyasu. There's a pretty little angel at their back." The muscular guy pointed his index finger to me.

I was surprised to be called an angel. I was even disturbed by that. So much distracted about what that large guy called me, I lost my balance. I fell at the middle of Itachi and Kisame. But, Itachi caught me before I fell in the floor.

"That happens to the people who meddles other business." Itachi exclaimed.

"I'm not meddling business here! I was just curious! Didn't you get that?" I answered.

"Itachi, you should treat a lady with respect." The handsome man said.

Iyasu (the handsome man) approached me. He held my right hand and kissed it. I suddenly moved it away from him after he did that. I raised my left eyebrow but my cheeks were blushing. If it wasn't me, she'll surely faint. This man was too much handsome to deal with.

"May I know your name?" Iyasu asked.

"Ah… Subaru…" I replied shyly.

"Such a nice name for an angel lost in this place."

"Hmm…"

I was surprised when Itachi fronted himself between Iyasu and me. His long hair buried my vision. Kisame liked preparing for a fight. Itachi's hair also smelt so good! Anyway, he blocked my way to see Iyasu. I complained.

"Why did you do that?"

"Master told me that no one would come to you."

"Foolish! But, he never told you that no one can speak to me!"

I moved beside Itachi. I was surprised to see that they were staring at each other. It was like; they were already cursing each other thru their stares. They were frozen, Itachi, with his cynical look and Iyasu, with this bitter smile in his lips. There was silence of rage in the air. I smiled shyly and spoke in very sweet but low tone.

"Ah… Itachi… I think we should keep going…"

But no one answered me. It made me annoyed. I decided to front myself in the middle. My hands were on my waist, and looking at Itachi. I smiled to him faintly and told him.

"We should keep going. I'm sleepy."

"I think we should." He answered.

"At last! I was heard! Thank you heavens!"

Iyasu suddenly smiled at him in cunning way. I felt a rivalry connecting this both Akatsuki ninjas. Itachi's eyes were staring Iyasu's eyes in fury. I held Itachi's hand to let him now that I'm ready to go. I was surprised that his hand adjusted to grip in my wrist. It was hard and firm. He suddenly turned his back to Iyasu. With his eyes still in rage, he left him with a very strong word.

"No one comes close to her, Iyasu. Not even a strand of your hair."

"She's not your property, Itachi. She's an Akatsuki property, so I know where I should position myself." Iyasu yelled with a cold stare.

"Bye, sweet angel Subaru! Hope to see you around!" shouted by the muscular man.

"Ah… Yeah…" I yelled while trying hard to turn my head.

Actually, Itachi was already dragging me to the corridor. His clutch to my wrist was hurting me. I struggled so hard to get away. It was like this until we get back to our room.

Kisame opened the door. I was surprised when Itachi threw me up like a stuff toy in the bed. I fell down with my face in the surface of the bed. I noticed that Kisame went out of the room after Itachi did that to me. I gently rose up my head to see Itachi's expression.

His blood red eyes were in great fury. It was blazing in anger and rage. I felt my heart beat faster. I found myself shivering in such horror and terror. His stare was deadly. It was dreadful. I was looking and facing the devil himself. I wanted to run away but I can't. I was frozen right at that moment. I want to scream but there's no voice coming out of my mouth. I just closed my eyes. I was waiting for anything that could happen. After few seconds I decided to open my eyes. I didn't saw Itachi in front of me, but actually…

… He was beside me!

His hands on his face, and he was like talking to himself. His elbows were resting at his lap. I heard him saying like this…

"What the heck is happening to me?"

I scratched my head. Yet, I found myself suddenly in pain. I found myself looking at the wrist that Itachi was holding while we were at the corridor. I tried to move it, but I really hurt me. I let go of little yelp of twinge. Itachi suddenly turned his head to me. I was surprised.

He looked at me suspiciously. There's a glint of pleading forgiveness and his eyes… he also looked like he was confused and bewildered. He slowly grabbed my wrist and checked it out.

"I held it too tight. Just be still, I'll get a bandage."

He stood up slowly in the bed. He opened one of the drawers at the vanity table. He came back with a bandage in his hands and slowly held my hand. He was so gentle in handling it. He slowly but gracefully put the bandage around my injured wrist. My wrist was swollen. He was really strong. He can actually kill me in an instant with that grip. He was trying hard not to show any emotion on what he was doing. But his eyes were saying something. I was just too scared to look him straight in his eyes.

There was too much to interpret behind this silence. There were mixed feelings covered by this deafening silence. It was so much corrupted by many complicated and unexplainable emotions. I wanted to break the silence, but it was so fragile to break it. I found myself slowly looking at Itachi's eyes.

I suddenly remembered my first thoughts about his eyes. How beautiful and how wonderful they are. I still remembered the feeling I felt when I was imagining it, how my memory keep on recalling his eyes. It was so beautiful. And here I was, looking straight at his eyes. Now, his eyes were more than beautiful. It was mostly like a celestial object. It was shining brightly in the room. The only source of light was the small lampshade beside the vanity table. I suddenly noticed that he was now looking into my eyes too. He was looking deep into my eyes. I wanted to resist it, but slowly I was starting to stare at him, as if we were talking with our eyes as our mouth, and the expressions inside it were the language we were using. We both heard the doorknob twitched. And, he slowly let go of my hand and I slowly moved away from him.

"Itachi, what happen to her? I suddenly heard a moan." Kisame asked.

"Nothing happened, Kisame. Nothing…" He said.

He looked at my direction while saying those words. Kisame leisurely sat down in the sofa near the door. He was now wearing a simple shirt and green pants. He also brought a big yellow pillow.

"Are you going to sleep here, Kisame?" I asked while I moved away from Itachi and reached for the brush in the vanity table.

I slowly removed the black ribbon tied in my hair. I wiggled my head from left to right. My hair was covering my sight but I can saw Kisame imitating me. I pouted when I stopped wiggling. He suddenly laughed loudly.

"Hahaha! You look like a kid!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Oh yeah? If I look like a kid, you look like a rhinoceros…" I yelled.

"I look like a rhinoceros? How dare you said that!"

"Look how pale you are! Your color resembles… an elephant, you dimwit!"

"And look at you! A lady should carry poise and elegance… not like you… you're like… a tomboy!"

"I don't care! I don't need elegance to live, you blob head!"

"You…" Kisame gritted his teeth. He was about to throw the pillow he was holding.

I laughed heartily. I was like a child. I jumped in my bed and slowly removed my sandals. I hugged the red pillow as I continued to laugh.

"Hey, Itachi! Did Subaru already know about the electrifying competition you got with Iyasu?" asked Kisame.

I suddenly stopped. I looked at Itachi who was now standing beside in the window. He was looking outside. The moonlight showed his best features in his face, his eyes, and his mouth…

I suddenly remembered what he did to me after my shower. I looked at him with such grace and stealth. I didn't want him to notice me looking at me in such way. But, Kisame noticed it.

"Hey, Subaru! Don't look at Itachi like that. You'll never have him."

"What the hell are you talking about? You frigging madcap."

"Then, why are you looking at him like that?"

"It's none of your business, pug faced!"

"You…" Kisame gritted again his teeth.

"Stop it, Kisame. We should get some sleep. I'll sleep here, and Kisame… you sleep near the door." Itachi said.

"What? That gray pug faced will sleep here!" I yelled.

"No choice, Subaru." Itachi exclaimed.

"Yeah… no choice… you have no choice…" Kisame said.

"Do I have a choice?" I replied.

I decided to just lie down at my bed. I stared at the ceiling and still reminiscing that very luscious kiss we had. What am I thinking? Why does that scene always flashing in my head? That's just a kiss! It's nothing more than a wave. It'll be more different if that kiss is for…

… Love…

But I never believed in true love. For me, love was only for people who deserve a life of happiness and contentment. I didn't have. People who have love had everything in the world. Family, friends, relative, close peers, and of course…

… The one they mostly love…

… The half of their souls…

"I'm going to turn off the lampshade already. Any objection?" Kisame asked.

I ignored what he said. Then, he turned off the lampshade. I covered the blanket into my face and hugged the throw pillow. I was still thinking of Makoto's offer. I was even thinking of being part of Akatsuki. But still, there were questions in my head that contradict with the offer.

What will I get if I have my revenge? Will I ever find that 'peace' in my inner self? Will these delusions ever stop? Will the ghosts of the bloody rains stop haunting me? Will I ever make them happy if I decided to join them?

Will I find delight? Will I ever understand? Will I ever had a chance? That's wrong. Maybe this is the right question. If I ever had my revenge, would be a sign of second chance to live again as a normal Konoha citizen? But to think of it… Akatsuki wants to destroy Konoha, so…

… I'll have no place left to go…

But I can still go with Akatsuki. With them, I can hone and practice my skills. I can be the strongest warrior that my clan wants me to be. But there's something wrong…

… If I did, I will be just like them…

… An assassin, a killer…

So, I haven't still found the reason why should I agree with it, or let him down. He was maybe manipulating me for his own plans, and blackmailed me with my inner emotions. This is going too far! I felt the fate was playing me. Nobody can play with my emotions, and now… I was the object of the game.

Stop thinking! I thought to myself. I slowly closed my eyes. There was fear of having the same dream again. I was afraid that the ghosts of the bloody rains would haunt me again in my dreams. But I can't resist the rest that my body was craving. Today was a heck of a day! It was like that all my energy was wasted in this day. I never felt so tired like this before. So exhausted, I slowly drifted myself away from the world of awake to the dimension of asleep…


After two hours----------------------------


"I can't breathe!" I thought to myself. I was seeing shadows of people running and screaming in horrifying tone. It was all gray. All that I was seeing was shadows. I saw a child underneath a table hiding away from those shadows. She was wearing a black kimono with little red flowers decorating its sleeves. She was shivering. Her hands were on her ears, covering and protecting her hearing senses to the terrible sound of violence. She had tears flowing in her eyes. Suddenly, the shadows disappeared. All that left was the little girl and I.

She was still crying. I came close to her and wiped her eyes. All of the sudden, her tears turned into crimson liquid. So much shocked, I checked my hands. Her tears left in my hands also turned into blood. I stood up and looked at her. She was now shouting such familiar words.

"I was said to be the strongest. But why can't I protect them? Is this all life is?"

I was so dumbfounded. The girl, her kimono, her eyes, her voice… all along…

… It was I…

It's me. My surroundings suddenly changed into a forest. I turned around to see if someone was there. All I heard was shrieking voices of women, and awful groans of men, even deafening screams of children… being killed. I covered my ears with my hands. I tried to scream but nothing came out of my mouth. Then, the rain fell strongly from the heavens. I slowly looked above me. I saw the moon. It was so bright. But I was horror-struck when the moon slowly turned to red, and the rain…

… Became the rain of blood…

I felt a force choking me. I held my neck and tried to release myself from the tight grip. But it was no use. I was starting to hear criticisms, discriminations, humiliations and accusations. I didn't know which one to hear out. I was starting to scream, but it was useless.

"Wake up, Subaru! Wake up!"

A familiar voice I heard from a far side of the forest. It was the most memorable voice, and also the one I paid attention with. I suddenly ran out away from the forest despite the tight grip holding my neck. The voice was coming closer and closer, then a light passed through out me.

I opened my eyes. It was just dream. But the feeling of fear, horror and despair was quite real. I found myself having difficulty to breathe. But what amazed me was the person I saw the moment I opened my eyes.

His red crimson eyes looking so worried to me. It was Itachi. I suddenly rose up from my bed, but our foreheads bumped.

"Ouch! What was that for, Subaru?" Itachi said while rubbing his forehead.

"Ah… Sorry…" I said while trying to catch my breath.

"You are screaming. What's wrong?"

"A nightmare. The same old nightmare since I was a kid."

"No surprise. That's why you like to sleep during afternoons."

"Yeah…"

He was correct. I'd like to sleep during afternoon rather than night. I was afraid of the same dream to keep on repeating to me every night. It was the most terrifying nightmare I'd ever had. At least, during afternoons I won't be worried of anything dreaming about. But at the night…

… The king of the nightmares came out and haunts me.

"Are you sure you're fine?" Itachi asked.

"I think so."

"It doesn't look like you're fine."

I noticed a very weird sound inside the room, somewhat similar to snoring. I looked around and conclusively…

… It was likely came from Kisame.

"Ah… is that Kisame snoring?"

"Yes. It was he."

I chuckled. I wanted to take away the fear away from me. I always did that when I dreamt of the nightmare. Itachi was looking at me very keenly. He suddenly held the hand covered with bandage.

"You looked pale. Tell me what's wrong."

"It was just a nightmare… no… a dream! It was just a trick of my wild imagination. You don't have to…"

I was interrupted when Itachi placed his index finger in my mouth. I was surprised. The night was deep, and the moonlight was shining at it's utmost light. The moonbeam was reflecting thru the eyes of Itachi. I suddenly remembered the red moon from my nightmare.

"Nightmares. It was you fear. Tell me." Itachi asked with a very affectionate yet bitter tone.

"It was a memory of childhood…" I said. "A memory that I won't escape. It's been there since I was 4. Every night, every time I close my eyes and try to sleep, I always end up dreaming it over and over again. I was like a reminder, but much like a dreadful memoir of my past. I have buried it, but in my dreams, they always appear fresh. I wanted to forget it, yet there's no way I would…"

My tears started to flow out of my eyes. I was looking at his lap. I didn't want to cry again for the same dream again. It was always been this way. I was sick and tired of it. I continued speaking even though I was already sobbing.

"…I'm afraid to close my eyes. I saw myself as a child running away, hiding. I don't want to runaway forever. I just want… to be… comforted… to be… understood. I want to understand everything in me. I wanted to let go of my past, but… it's like my past was still holding me tight."

"I was already strong at the age of 3. I was the strongest among our family. In a very young age, I can easily create fire, manipulate water and control the wind. It was a bloodline limit I inherited from my family…"

"You remind me of the First and Second Hokage. They were good at elemental jutsus." Itachi said while checking the bandage around my wrist.

"I've heard about that. I was born in the Konoha, and during that time, my clan was already discriminated by the citizens and even the higher ups. But, it was nothing to me…"

Itachi suddenly lied down beside me, with his hand intertwined with mine. I looked at him with the terrifying eyes. I was still afraid, and my hands were still shivering.

"My father, who was a Jounin was also discriminated, decided to enroll at the academy. But, the academy decided to reject me. My uncle suggested changing my surname. They've decided that I would be a kunoichi medic."

"Why did they want you to become a medic?" Itachi asked.

"Because… I can heal wounds… with my bare hands…"

Itachi's jaw dropped in surprise. I looked at him and then looked again at the dark side of the room. His grip was growing tighter but warmer.

"How could…" Itachi said.

"It was farfetched, I know. Whenever a death in a family happen, his abilities will be passed down to the youngest…" I replied.

"… And you became the strongest…"

"Yes. I was the youngest. So, all the abilities came from my dead uncles, aunts and cousins was passed down to me. I was been trained to be the strongest, but the most kind of all. But…"

"But?"

"Everything changed when my clan was eradicated. I lost in touch with my abilities. My concentration was been shattered, and my emotions were out of control. When I burst out of anger or fear, my abilities emerge in its utmost level. That's how I killed some of the people inside the mansion, and so as the wolves."

"What happen then?"

"I was adapted by the master in Kyboshing mansion. I became his slave. Since he knew what happen to me, he blackmailed me of giving me up to the authority as the one who killed most of his slaves. So, I decided to do whatever he wanted…"

"Such harsh life."

"I'm used to it. Life never been so good at me."

"Ever thought of having vengeance?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid."

My hands started to shiver really hard. Itachi held both of my hands firmer. I was sobbing. I can't stop the chills, or the tears in my eyes. I was afraid that I might hurt Itachi accidentally.

"How can I help?" He asked indifferently.

"I don't… know…" I replied.

"Can you sleep now?"

"No. After that nightmare, I'll be staying awake up to dawn."

"Uhm… tough. You should get rest. I know how hard is this day been to you."

"There's… nothing… you can… do…" I said between my sobs.

Itachi came closer to me. I looked at him passionately, and so as him. He suddenly locked up his lips to mine. It was warm, but now… it was sincere. His hands were on my waist, but it was starting to crawl at my back. (Take note: He was sitting in front of me. My legs were between his legs.) I responded his kiss with a warm and longing one. I felt I was protected and at the same time, secured. I felt a comfort around his arms. He parted his lips to let me breathe, and then he interlocked it again. I let his tongue entered my mouth. I was surrendering myself to this kiss… the hunger of comfort and affection for a long time. Ironically, I found it in the person who could be my enemy…

… And could be my friend…

His tongue was playing with mine. I can feel his heartbeat. It was normal. He was warm, and he was kissing a half-dead lady, a lady who was about to bury in the graveyard of her past. I placed my arms around his shoulders. His kiss was going deep, and more passionate. He was adding fondness and ease to everything that he was doing now. Slowly, we parted each other's lips. With fulfillment in his eyes and assurance glittering in mine, he touched the edges of my lips. There were no words to describe what I was feeling. I felt complete for the first time. I felt a shoulder to lean on, and someone to trust my life with. We gently lie down to the bed, with my head in his chest. He embraced me as the night goes deeper. I slowly closed my eyes and heard him whisper.

"You'll be safe. I'm here. You can sleep now. Goodnight."

I nodded. As I heard the throbbing of his heart, the warmth of his body filled the emptiness of my soul.

I hope this last…

Forever…


A/N: Whoa! Ten pages! Longest… I did it! I hope you like this chapter. I found it a bit mushy, but still bit harsh. Subaru's feelings are extreme. Can Itachi handle it? So as the Iyasu-Itachi competition... Did Itachi get jealous? Survey! Hehe! I'm out of here! Please leave a review! Have a nice day!