A/N: This chapter is after Subaru's month stay in headquarters. I'd like to inform so you wouldn't be confused. Enjoy!
JOURNAL ENTRY 9: UNCERTAINTIES
"One… two… three…"
I was counting the stitches I was plotting at the cross-stitch cloth. Itachi gave the materials I needed. He even knew that I love handicrafts so he decided to buy me one. And, here it was… I was doing it for my pastime.
It was really ridiculous. I was actually stitching a very nice picture in the cross-stitch cloth. It was a traditional Japanese house surrounded by a very large and beautiful garden. Too weird that he chose this. He even told me to finish it by week, because I'll be coming with him in a mission to Konoha.
Konoha… the land of where Ichikawa have long forgotten and despised. I was really not sure if I want to come with him. Fear was the one holding me back. I didn't want to be discriminated again and called me witch. I even didn't know how would I tell Itachi that I'm not yet prepared to go. But, I have no choice. I was obliged to be with him. He already told me that, and I have no complains about that. I have to always remember that I'm an Akatsuki property now. Anytime I complain or react, death will be the payment for that.
I looked outside the window and saw Itachi throwing shurikens at a tree. It was actually fast so I didn't clearly see it if he really threw it. It's like he was just flicking a coin, and stuck in a tree. It was really easy for him. He suddenly looked up in our room's window. I smiled.
So, I proceeded to finish my work. I wanted to finish the half of the whole picture, though it seemed so impossible. I felt a pain in my neck. Also, my eyes were aching in counting and staring at the small dots and boxes. I felt I'd be going dizzy. I decided to lie down in the bed and take a rest.
I was lying in the bed, with my eyes staring at the ceiling. I suddenly remembered what Itachi told me last month. I also wondered if Keiko was doing fine after what Itachi said to her. Keiko finally confessed her feelings to Itachi, but just like what I'm expecting. Itachi turned her down and crushed her heart, even told her that she was a weak ninja and never will be strong. He was really insensitive! I also wondered where Kisame is. I thought he'd never be apart with Itachi. But, Itachi was there all alone, in the garden out side the headquarters. No one was with him and nobody bothering him.
I stood up from the bed and decided to look outside the window again. No sign of Itachi. I wondered where he is. He told me he'll be just there to train and wait for a mission. When, I heard a knock from the door. I slowly opened it and saw Itachi.
"I thought you're training outside." I asked.
"Finished." He answered.
We were always like this. I just realized that I was living and staying at the same room with Itachi for a month. One month of staying here was like eternity. I was getting sick and tired of the room, so every now and then; Itachi always took me around inside and outside the headquarters. We always went outside every morning and take a stroll around the forest, though I told him I was tired of this place.
I handed Itachi a towel for him to dry his sweat. I sat next to him at the bed and checked his wounds. Just last week, Itachi was assigned by Makoto to spy on Konoha's ANBU headquarters. Unfortunately, he was caught and got into a fight. He told me that since I was kidnapped, the security around Konoha grew tighter. The ANBUS too were stronger than before. Since that day, Makoto requested me to be his sheath and his geisha. Every Akatsuki member who was high-ranked was being given a girl as his personal colleague, somewhat like geisha. Just yesterday, Kisame was given a geisha, and her name was Yuri. She was beautiful, but she was used of entertaining a guy already. And, Kisame started to like the way she was, taking the extra time to pamper his geisha and also to enjoy it. Good thing that shark-face had already changed his hobby from insulting me to indulging a girl.
Also, Itachi was already started training me. We did trainings every afternoon. He taught me the basics and he also trying to cope up with my bloodline. He always told me to control my emotions to balanced it.
"How's your day?" He asked impersonally.
"Fine. Nothing unusual." I answered. I was still healing his wounds.
"I'll be taking you to the park today."
"Park?"
"It's outside the forest. Inside Konoha."
"How will we enter there?"
"Easy."
"You're dipping yourself into trouble again, Itachi."
"I have my healer, so why be bother?" He said uninterestedly.
"Shut up!"
He sneered. I was now also honing my healing skills. He taught me how to use genjutsu to cooperate with my bloodline. He stood up and gave me a box.
"What's this?"
"It's a gift."
"A gift?"
"Just take it. I bought it for you while spying at Konoha."
"Thanks."
I slowly untied the silver ribbon and opened the blue box. There was a beautiful pair of red ribbons. He knew that I'd have been complaining about my black ribbon that Kisame cut off when I was teasing his geisha. I held it in my palms and looked at him. I smiled sincerely.
"I'll just take a bath. You prepare yourself. Will be out here for a few minutes." He said.
I nodded. Before he went inside the bathroom, he kissed my forehead and told me.
"I want you to wear that black skirt I bought for you."
"The one with the kimono-styled top?"
"Yes."
"Fine."
----------+----------
We were walking inside the forest finding our way out of it and go to the park of Konoha. I was actually nervous. He was Itachi, and I know that people they will be panicking if they saw him. Oh well! Maybe I just have to face consequences.
Before we went outside the house, he handed me a forehead protector. He told me I'd need it for now and for next few days since I'll be with him during his missions. It was the sign of Konoha, with a line slashed in the middle. Of course, the ring of Akatsuki, except that mine was black… color for them that signify property.
He was actually gorgeous. He was wearing his black ninja outfit, with his katana attached at his back. He told me it was for protection. I was wearing the clothes that he bought for me past few weeks ago. It was a kimono-styled white top that reveals my shoulder and a short black skirt. He even gave me a fishnet shirt for it. It was actually beautiful. I didn't know that he was good at picking girl's clothes.
We were both quiet. I suddenly broke the silence when I saw a large wooden gate at the near end of the forest.
"Hey! Is that the way to Konoha already?"
"Yes."
"So, how will we enter there?"
"Just keep your mouth shut."
There was a ninja guarding the gate. Maybe he was a Jounin. Itachi told me that elite ninjas were called Jounin and were assigned in different kind of task. The ninja suddenly asked us.
"Where are you going? And who… it's…"
But the man fell asleep while Itachi was looking at him. I was surprised that the man fell down asleep! I was curious and asked him how.
"How did you do that?"
"None of your business."
"Humph!"
I was amazed on what he just did to that ninja. I knew that it was his bloodline, the Sharingan. He told me that only a person from Uchiha clan could possess it. I was still looking at the ninja. I was still thinking how did he make the person sleep with just looking at it.
"Subaru, hurry up." He commanded.
I was about to run to him. But there's someone whispering in my mind. I think it was my conscience. I decided to look at Itachi, and yelled at him.
"I'll just check if he's fine."
I leaned down to the ninja. I placed my two fingers in his neck to check his pulse. He was still breathing, and still alive. I was at ease. I breathed deeply and stood up. I thought to myself to say sorry to this ninja if I ever see him again. I looked at Itachi and smiled.
"Hurry up, Subaru. We have to get back to the headquarters before dark."
"Yes!" I ran to Itachi and caught his hand. I looked at him in a childish sight. Then I giggled.
"What?" He asked reluctantly.
"Nothing. I was just… impressed!"
We were walking at the streets of Konoha. I was speechless. Konoha was not a bad place after all. It was much alive than I expected. I saw children running around freely and people, happy and contented after all. It was different from the Konoha that my mind was making up.
Also, my mild schizophrenia was already fading out. Being the best and in command, Itachi asked one of his allied Takiko, to assist me and much as possible cure my schizophrenia. And now, the nightmares I have usually at my sleep were rarely occurring. Thanks to Takiko, and so as with Itachi.
As usual, Konoha was known because of its strict and strong military forces. Itachi spoke to me about every ninja that we saw in every corner of the street. He was lecturing me about the Konoha's military forces. The kind of ninjas that Konoha possessed and the stuff like that.
"Why are you telling me this?" I asked.
"You'll be needing that. Remember, I'll be bringing you to my next mission."
"Oh I see…"
I suddenly remember the doubt that circling my heart whenever I heard that him telling me about that, and how uncomfortable I was in this place. Konoha was nice, but there's still doubt and hate that's left in me about this place. Those feelings can't be erased anymore. It was already part of me… piece of my life… and element of my soul. It was like my foundation why I am still living and kicking alive.
"Do you like here?" He asked uncaringly.
"Kind of. Honestly, I never thought that Konoha is this beautiful. The mood is so peaceful… yet, it can't change the fact that it is the place where my family died and were killed… this village who showed prejudice at them…" I answered sadly.
"That's the academy. Its where the children train to be a ninja." He pointed me a four-story building. We even saw children playing at its playground.
"You studied there before right?" I asked.
"Before you become a Chuunin, you should be a Genin. And Genins are trained there."
I knew he would answer me that way. Whenever I ask questions about him and his past life, he would answer it objectively. But the real answer was underneath the sentences. You just have to read between his lines.
We continued to walk until we reached a bridge. It was an arched bridge made out of blocks. Trees surrounded it and the water was clear. I looked down to see the water. I saw my own reflection. I saw myself smiling at myself. How funny. I never thought to see myself this way.
"This is called the Konoha Bridge. The park is just over the end." He said.
So, we continued to walk and reached the park. Well, it was pleasing to the sight. There were children playing around, and ninjas training. Actually, the ninjas I saw were younger than 14. I asked Itachi.
"Is there any age requirement to be a ninja?" I asked curiously.
"You supposed to be 4 years old to become a Genin and enter the academy. After that, you can be at any age to become whatever rank you wanted." He responded apathetically.
We reached the fountain area and sat at the bench. He bought me a cotton candy and sat there reading a book. He was been reading that book since I finished reading it. Maybe he was trying to figure out why I love that book. Oh well, Itachi just wanted to understand things. I looked at the fountain area and saw my reflection.
I was different now. My perception about life changed. I now live for myself and no one else. But there were still things that haven't change… my perception, my doubts, my sadness and my inevitable doubt and pain in my heart. My soul was still suffering but now, it was actually slumbering the pillow of doubt. And my heart, throbbing once more… only for its survival. My past, even though I couldn't still accept it… still haunting and screaming my name.
I was surprised to saw Itachi's reflection in the water. I looked up to him and surprised his eyes were glinting in some much anxiety.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Are you sure you want to go to the mission?"
"Ah… you said you want me to go. So, I'll go. After all I'm your geisha and your sheath. I have no control with it."
"Yes. You are."
"You're strange. Something bothering you?"
"I've… just doubting this mission…"
He was doubting this mission? This was a lifetime record! It was the first time that Itachi doubted something that Akatsuki had given him. He never doubted nor questioned any mission before. This was just the first time.
"Doubting? Why?"
"I just smell something fishy about it."
"Fine."
Suddenly, I felt a presence of somebody around us. I looked up to Itachi and he nodded. He knew that he felt that same way too. He picked up his katana out of its case.
"In case this are ANBUS, you got to prepare yourself. We'll be in a fight for sure."
"Fine."
"I'll see here if you really learn something from our training, Subaru. You got to prove to me that you're my geisha."
A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry for the late update! I got so many work to do, so I've got no time to update this one. Expect that for now. I'll be much busy now that I'll be having a lot of things to do. I hope you like this chapter! Also, thanks to those people who reviewed my previous chapter, and also my one-shot fic. If you haven't read it, try it. Hehe! Please leave a review! Have a nice day, guys!
