Disclaimer: Naruto is not my property. Do I have to say that? You know that already!

A/N: Hello! Thanks for those people who responded to my help! The special chapter will be posted after Chapter 15. Oh well… There's also a question posted in my reviews. Chapter 13 had the answer. Subaru was been hanging out with Naruto and company for three months. Longer than the stay with Itachi right? This chapter will give you… a hint? Let me remind you that sentences italicized and are in bold are flashbacks. Okey! Let's go back to the story!


JOURNAL ENTRY 15:

ICHIKAWA MAUSOLEUM: RECOLLECTION


I slowly opened my eyes, and started blinking. I was awake again. Since yesterday, I always hope of sleeping forever and not waking up anymore. I looked up at the ceiling, and stared it for a long time. When will my life be stable again? Or, there's no way for my life to become so even?

I slowly got up. I was sitting at my bed and still crumpling my blanket. I was wiping my eyes from any marks of tears or something. I was so discouraged. I let myself fell down again in the bed and stared at the ceiling.

I only got two weeks and one day left to decide, and still haven't got any hint or sign what should I do. I gritted my teeth. If I wouldn't find any solution about this, I'll just go away from Konoha and try my best to live alone. Runaway, far away from Itachi… that would be the safest way but…

… I promise to myself not to runaway anymore.

"Ahh!" I yelled. I embedded my head between two pillows. Then suddenly got up and faced the big circular mirror hanging in the wall. I looked at myself carefully. I noticed I have changed a lot since I got at Konoha.

My hair grew longer, and I became silkier and softer. I let go a little giggle. I combed my hair through my fingers. I stopped when I saw the black ribbon that was interlaced in my wrist.

"… Itachi… where are you now?" I whispered.

A knock suddenly heard at the door. I sighed. I knew who was at the door already.

"I'm awake, Sakura." I yelled.

"Neh! This is not Sakura. This is Naruto." The voice yelled.

What? Naruto was here in Sakura's house? Why? Since when did Sakura allow Naruto to go here? I never remembered anytime that she wanted Naruto in her house. I decided to open the door to make sure it was really Naruto.

I slowly opened the door and stared at Naruto. He was wearing a black shirt with that red spiral design in the middle, and brown Capri pants. He wasn't wearing his typical orange jumpsuit. But what I noticed was the red crocheted sleeveless vest with the white hood at it's back. I smiled.

"Why are you smiling?" Naruto asked.

"Nothing." I smiled brightly and suddenly closed the door.

"Hey! Aren't you just going to say something about my outfit?" Naruto yelled.

"Yeah… I've noticed it." I yelled while brushing my hair.

"Yes! Look, Sasuke! She likes my outfit!" He shouted as I heard his footsteps going down the stairs. His voice was fading as the sound of the footsteps vanishing.

I laughed. I remembered I made that vest for him. I wondered what's gotten into him. He told me he'd never wear that. But, look at him now. He was wearing it with his favorite shirt.

"Not bad after all." I said to myself.


----------+----------


I sat down at the dining table with eagerness. I decided just to forget first the worries. It'll make me look older. (That's a tip of advice from Ino.) I saw Sakura from a far tugging Sasuke by his sleeves. I let go a little chuckle.

"Sasuke-kun, let's eat. Subaru-chan cooked the breakfast today. You'll surely like it." Sakura said.

"Why don't you tell him that I teach you how to cook too? I'm not the only one who cook all of this." I suggested.

"Sakura-chan can cook? Since when, Subaru-chan?" Naruto asked, as he smelled the ramen in the table.

"Well, since I live here with her. She told me she couldn't cook properly."

"That's good for her. Sakura always bring us bad lunch during trainings."

"NARUTO!" Sakura yelled.

I giggled, as Sakura was chasing Naruto around the receiving area. Sasuke slowly sat at the chair beside me. I looked at Sasuke with a smile. He also smiled with me.

I looked at Sasuke and noticed he was also wearing a blue crocheted vest with black hood at it's back. The different was there was a design at the back of the vest. It was the Uchiha emblem.

I also looked at Kakashi. He was wearing the same vest with Naruto. It had two pockets and a sign of Konoha was designed in one of the pocket. I noticed Sakura wearing a blue dress that matches with Sasuke's vest. It fitted to her very much.

"Sakura…" I said. "The dress looks good on you. I thought you'd never wear that."

"Well… I just did." Sakura said shyly. She slowly sat at the chair and served the food to us.

"What are your plans today, Subaru?" Kakashi asked.

"Nothing really. Anko-sensei hasn't told me any training. So, I guess… I'll just stay here."

"Don't you want to go around Konoha?" Naruto suggested.

Going around Konoha… that would help. While thinking about Naruto's suggestion, an image suddenly popped up in my head.

A tombstone… with my father's name engraved on it… Ichikawa Toshiko… The place was full of chrysanthemum and tulips. And one of the tombstones had hyacinths and a sword on the top of it. The name engraved… Ichikawa Sasaki… I looked around and saw another tombstone and a vase of pink carnations… Ichikawa Nanami. I knew this place.

"I think I shall go to my family's mausoleum." I suddenly spitted out the words out of the blue.

"Then, let me go with you." Sasuke suggested.

"Sure. How about you, Kakashi?" I asked.

"I got to report to Ibiki about the current security at the West gate. So, I can't go." Kakashi said while sipping the ramen soup.

"I want to go!" Naruto yelled.

"You don't have to shout, Naruto. I want to go too!" Sakura said.

"Then, it's all set!" I smiled.


----------+----------


We were walking at the peaceful and joyful streets of Konoha. I can still remember where my family built a mausoleum for our ancestors. It was been 11 years since I visited that place. It was a mausoleum where dead people lies… but the dreams lived along the wind.

Sakura brought a basket of food for a picnic. Naruto suggested a picnic after visiting my family's graveyard. It was so unfortunate that Kakashi wasn't with us. I looked up at Kakashi as my older brother. We also passed by Ino's flower shop to buy some flowers. Sasuke and Naruto brought blankets and drinks. I kept on looking at them as Naruto teasing Sakura. They looked all good together.

A memory suddenly came back to my mind. I was the youngest in the family, and also the toughest, most persistent, and shrewdest. I was even known to be the most stubborn among my cousins. I looked at Sasuke. He smiled.

"I thought you'd never wear that vest." I said.

"I just did." Sasuke said.

"Then, why?"

"Nothing. I wanted to change my fashion outlook sometimes."

"Really?"

I never thought of the day I'd see Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura wearing my creations. Yes, I made their vest, and Sakura's pink dress. And, I was happy that even Kakashi wore that one.

I suddenly stopped at a large black gate surrounded by small yellow flowers. I slowly opened the gate and gently stepped in my right foot.

"Are we here?" Naruto said.

"Yes." I said sadly.

The feeling of being alone was again in my atmosphere. The place hadn't change a bit. The feeling of lost, sorrow and despair was again lingering in my heart. I slowly walked around the grasses and flowers that surrounding the place. The wind was blowing so gently. It was moving my hair.

I stopped at a tomb with a sword on the top. I slowly moved away the dust and dry leaves covering the tomb. The name etched appeared.

"Ichikawa… Sasaki…" Sasuke read the name.

"Who is she, Subaru-chan?" Naruto asked.

"My elder sister." I answered.

I still remembered her sermons. She was the most bossy around the family. She wanted everything to be organize and in order. Sasaki was the one who was training me to become a perfect warrior. I still remembered those times…


"Subaru… you should learn that…"

"A ninja should be prepare at all times… I already know that, Sasaki-nichan!"

"Then, why are you not prepared for this training?"

"Why should I? You told me that I'll not bring anything today."

"You… stubborn little girl!"


"Sasaki-nichan was my first sensei…" I said. "She taught me the basics that was taught at the academy."

"You never entered the academy?" Naruto asked.

"No. The Fourth Hokage prohibited it. He told the instructors to never admit any child from our family again."

"Why?"

"Children are emotional. They can't still control their emotions very well. Once an Ichikawa can't control his emotions, his ability will instantly kill anybody. Thus, through this, dangers can be lessened."

I placed replaced the dried hyacinths with new ones. Hyacinth was the favorite flower of Sasaki. I slowly walked away from the tomb, and closed my eyes. I walked to the next tomb, which Sakura already cleaned.

"Ichikawa Nanami… the name sounds familiar." Sakura said.

"Of course. She's my sister, and one of the best medic kunoichi working for ANBU when the Fourth Hokage was still the one ruling Konoha."

"She's your sister?"

"Actually, she was Sasaki-nichan's twin sister. They were exactly opposite. Nanami-nichan was very outspoken and talkative. She always bragged her position in the ANBU squad."


"Nanami-nichan… do you think I should really be a ninja?"

"Why? Do have any doubts, Subaru?"

"Well… what if I don't want to be a ninja? I know Mama and Papa will be mad at me."

"Just follow your heart. They'll soon understand."

"But, Sasaki-nichan told me that they'll get mad."

"Not really. Don't easily believe on that old hag. Mama and Papa might be disappointed. But you have to prove to them that being a ninja is not really for you."

"Then… I should follow them."

"Not always. You soon will learn what's good for you. After all, not all your life… you will be dependent with us. Following the path… your heart wants to be is the best trait of being a ninja."

"Really?"

"Oh yes! Just be real, and be hopeful. Plus faith… you'll never shrink!"


"I'll never shrink. You're a liar, freaking talkative parrot." I whispered to myself as I gently replaced the dry chrysanthemums with fresh ones. "I'm sorry if I choose white carnations… not your ever pink ones. My money is not enough to buy one. Also, you're already in heaven… or whatever place you are right now. And, you can't scold me of buying what you like."

Naruto and Sasuke gently leaned on the brick walls surrounding my sisters' tomb when one of the bricks revolved. A box suddenly appeared.

"Whoa! What's that?" Naruto yelled.

"A secret case?" I said.

I slowly got the box and opened it. I found a brown, dusty and old notebook. A yellow ribbon tied it up with a black tussle at each end. I slowly untied the ribbon and opened it. My eyes widened as I read the words. Here were the exact words written in the notebook.

"A reverse jutsu of the hidden and forbidden Ichikawa technique should be used by an Ichikawa that possessed the five important abilities. Also, he should master the three levels of healing: rejuvenation, regeneration and resurrection. The Ichikawa technique performer should already possess the ability to control the water and fire perfectly. Thus, making him more powerful and also can control his stamina. However, the reverse jutsu will not be done if he will not use the most important Ichikawa bloodline limit, the Psychic ability. It might be the most dangerous, but it really helps and breaks the jutsu and reverse it easily."

I kept on blinking after reading the paragraph. I slowly turned to other page when I found it in bold and italicized penmanship.

"However, the Ichikawa technique performer should be good enough to control his feelings or else he'll be kill. Also, the performer should be prepare for the sacrifice…"

"And the sacrifice would be?" Naruto suddenly spoke.

"Are you reading it too?" I asked?

"Yes… so let's continue. Shall we?"

"Yeah…"

I continued reading the words. This time, it read it out loud.

"The sacrifice can't be replaced. It is already written since the ancient times of Konoha. However, the Ichikawa technique performer of the reverse jutsu should already find the one he'll spend his life with after doing the jutsu. The sacrifice would be…"

"After doing it, you'll only live for only two years, sacrificing the rest of your life. " I said.

Silence covered the place. The sacrifice made my decision making more difficult. Now, that there's already a sacrifice I should make in doing that jutsu.

A flashback suddenly came back to my mind. This time, it was with my father.


"Why do you still want to protect Konoha, Papa?"

"Because, it's our homeland."

"But, this is what you called homeland? People are misjudging you and discriminating us! Papa, we should take revenge!"

"And, what do we get from it? More disgrace?"

"Ahh…"

"Subaru, if we take revenge on what they are doing, then, we already prove to them that we are murderers. But, if we take step on saving Konoha, there might be a time that people will understand why we are like this."

"And, why do you wish to protect Konoha?"

"It's where your heart is. It's the homeland that we belong with. You'll soon realize that."


That memory gave me another reason to live. Now, I know why I feel so much welcome at Konoha despite what they did to my family. It was the thing that my father kept on telling me when I was still a mere kid.

"Subaru-chan…" Naruto yelled. "… There's still a note here!"

"Where?" I said, as I grabbed the notebook from Naruto.

"Soon, Subaru will realize she have to do this jutsu. She got the guts, the power and ability. While Nanami and Sasaki didn't have the five abilities, I knew this would come. And, by that time, I hope Subaru already found the love you'll spend with… forever…

Love,

Papa"

They knew it… after all…


A/N: This chapter is really blurry! It supposedly give you a hint on her decision, however, you have to ready first the most awaited chapter! The special chapter! Just wait and see, how Itachi feels upon hearing the choice that was offered to Subaru. Thanks to those who reviewed my last chapter. I hope you'll like this one. I'm out of here! Take care and Have a nice day!