Did anyone catch the picture of the Gonzo fist cannon shooting out Hunter Thompson's ashes (as well as various colorful fireworks?) I did, and it looked beautiful….anyhow, next chapter. This one will be a trifle more interesting than the last one, new characters are introduced, so now I give you, chapter three.

And a big thanx to WitchyWanda for her review!

Disclaimer- I own no one…..creative little bugger, aren't I?

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That night…

The storm only grew stronger that night, making the power in Ed's house go out; leaving everyone to plan in the living room with flashlights and a miner hat. Ed was wearing the miner hat…

"So, where do we go first?" After hours of vomiting, Vampira finally became sober enough to help the cause. Ed had various maps laid out over the coffee table, depicting the different cities they would travel to. Ed glanced over at the test subject book open in Conrad's hands.

"Okay, I figured out since there are more people to retrieve in this place...um…" Ed pointed to a larger map, but could not find the name of the city. "We'll call this place 'anonymous'. We'll go there first."

"Yeah, but Ed, that place is too far away. It might as well be on the other end of the universe." Ed glared across the table at Paul, shining his headlight in Paul's eyes. Paul put a hand up to shield his eyes and spoke again. "And even if we did, how would we be able to take all those people along with us?"

"The ape girl did say that we needed to find a safe haven for these guys until she met up with us," Bunny spoke up. Ed looked over the maps again. Bunny did have a point.

Where are we going to fit all these people?

"Ed! Look here!" Tor placed a grubby finger on the map closest to Criswell. Criswell shone his flashlight on the map. It was much larger than the "anonymous" map, and depicted a huge building that took up almost half the map. Everyone leaned in, wondering what in the world they were looking at. 'Do you think this will work?"

"It's perfect! What is that place anyways? Let me see that Conrad," Ed reached over and took the book out of Conrad's hands, flipping frantically through the pages. At that second, the lights in the living room switched on full blast, blinding everyone in the room. Kathy stood just outside the kitchen door, her finger on the switch.

"Ed, what are you doing? And what's my grandfather's old mine hat doing on your head?" Ed and the others switched off their flashlights.

"Oh good, the power's working." Ed removed the miner hat and gave it to Vampira. She awkwardly accepted.

"The power's been working for the past half an hour. I was just in the kitchen." Everyone turned toward Ed, giving him a nasty look. He smiled nervously and ran over to Kathy's side (before anyone could possibly hit him). "What are you guys doing?"

"We're planning out where we should go first and where to hide everyone."

"Oh, I want to see." Kathy tiptoed over to the coffee table with Ed close behind.

"Kathy, wait, this is a very delicate procedu-whoa!" In an attempt to stop Kathy, Ed slipped on an empty vodka bottle from earlier. Thanks a lot Vampira! He watched from the floor as Kathy skimmed over the maps one by one. She finally picked a rather small map up in front of her face.

"Hey, I know this place. A friend of mine used to live here." Ed walked up behind and looked over her shoulder. It was a map of a small cul-de-sac. And her point is…

"This place is only three miles away from our house." Conrad tapped Ed's shoulder.

"You mean we could've just picked that place instead of looking at these other maps!"

Awkward…………..

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The Next Day…

The group stood lazily in the middle of the road, looking out at the pastel colored neighborhood that stood before them. Unfortunately, their mode of transportation ran out of gas a couple of blocks back. They had been walking since last night and were desperately looking for a place to rest until they would carry out their mission. Tor could swear he heard laughing behind him, but he figured it was probably his mind playing tricks. Then he heard the ringing of a bicycle bell in the distance. He turned around to find everyone running to the side of the road.

"Coming through!" There was the ringing again. He found himself facing a man on a bright red bicycle racing toward him at full speed. In an instant, the bike collided with Tor's massive body structure, not moving him an inch. The bike however, crashed into the former wrestler and fell to the side, sending the man tumbling off the bike. The rest of the group came rushing over both to the man's side, and Tor's as well. Bunny brushed off Tor's shoulders hastily.

"You didn't feel that!"

"Feel what?" Tor was still somewhat oblivious of what had just happened. Paul and Conrad helped the man up on his feet. Tor got a good look at him, and became very confused about whether or not he was actually a man. He wore an all grey suit with a small, schoolboy bow tie. Tor also caught a hint of makeup on his cheeks and his lips. How old is this guy! He thought. The "man" recollected himself and stood straight and tall.

"I meant to do that." He walked hastily towards his fallen bike. And what a bike it was…an AMF Roadmaster in perfect condition; a finely shined coat of bright fire engine-red paint with customized wings around the back wheel with a white racing stripe running around it. Its silver polished handlebars shone in the sunlight, almost blinding Criswell's eyes, the handlebars' sprouted multicolored streamers lay sprayed out on the gravel. To top it all off, a small lion's-head sound box rested in between the two handlebars. The bike itself was covered in all sorts of knobs, switches, buttons and lights, making it look like a science lab on two wheels.

The "man" lifted the bike up, and started walking down the road, humming an unknown tune. Ed mustered up whatever strength he had left and rushed after him. Finally catching up, Ed leaned on the bike's handlebars for support.

"Wait! We, um--we are terribly sorry. Tor here didn't see you coming and he couldn't get out of the way in time, and…" Ed could see he was rambling from the strange look the man was giving him.

"Um…hello! I'm Edward Wood, and these are my friends." They looked back at the exhausted group that stood behind them. The man stayed silent and examined Ed once more. A smile spread over his made-up face.

"Ooh, I know you! You're the guy that made Plan 9 From Outer Space! Ha ha!" Ed gave the group a light smile. They however, were not impressed. Ed turned back awkwardly to the man.

"That's right! Do you live around here?"

"I sure do sir! Pee Wee Herman's my name, don't wear it out!" Pee Wee firmly grabbed Ed's hand and shook it vigorously. Not letting go of his hand, Pee Wee pointed down the road to a large red house with white shudders and windows, covered in hundreds of big and small lawn decorations. Ed stared in wonder at the various cowboys and Indians models, cows, flamingos, a rocket ship, and Christmas decorations that stood behind a small white picket fence. "Are you guys lost?"

Criswell walked over toward Pee Wee, placing a hand on his shoulder and pulling out a small piece of paper with the address of their first "task".

"Young sir, do you know where we can find this house?" Pee Wee examined the address carefully. A wave of shock spread across his face.

"The Maitlands' place?"

"The who?" The group closed in on Pee Wee and Criswell, listening intently.

"Well, see that house?" Pee Wee pointed farther down the road, where a dull darkness consumed the other half of the block. A large, dull, white house stood crumbling in its place, the windows and doors boarded shut. "A young couple lived there a couple of years ago. I know because-" Pee Wee leaned in and motioned Criswell to come closer. "I lent them a cup of sugar," he whispered.

"Fascinating. Now-" Pee Wee raised a hand at Criswell, continuing the story.

"The couple went out one day to go shopping. They took a shortcut and drove over a rickety bridge built over Lake Nantucket. Big mistake! The bridge gave in, and they drowned to death! Then a new family moves into the house. Strange things start happening. Strange, weird stuff."

Vampira rolled her eyes. This is getting ridiculous…

"The family moved out under mysterious circumstances, and the couple's been haunting that house ever since."

"Oh, well then that's probably not the place. We're looking for a man named Betel-"

"Shh! Never say his name!" Pee Wee shouted at Criswell. Pee Wee gave them all an eerie stare. "I'll explain. Follow me." Pee Wee led the group on down the street, getting closer and closer to the darkness. The group kept close together behind Pee Wee, darting their eyes around the neighborhood. Kathy spoke up.

"Pee Wee, why is it dark here, and not back at your place?"

"They say this neighborhood is cursed," a small groan came from the group. "The further down the road, the spookier it gets. All the way down to the old Price Manor." Pee Wee gestured toward a giant, broken down mansion on top of a hill. The hair on the back of Bunny's neck stood on end. Pee Wee stopped on the stoop of the Maitland house, turning towards the group.

"Before we go inside, I must tell you all. When the family moved in, the Maitlands were having trouble scaring them out. So, they hired a bio-exorcist. He drove them out, but he would not leave the house. He lives in a small model of this neighborhood made by Mr. Maitland. The only way you can bring him out of the model, is by calling his name three times."

"Have you been in the house before?" Kathy asked. Pee Wee kept his eerie glare.

"No." Everyone looked at him in confusion. Criswell climbed up the stoop and stood beside Pee Wee.

"If you've never been in the house, how do you know all this?" Pee Wee straightened up.

"It is my civil duty as a suburbanite to pry into other neighbors' businesses."

"I see. Excuse me." Criswell moved to open the door, but noticed the boards nailed to the wooden door.

"Tor, a little help." Tor climbed up the stoop and gripped one of the boards on both sides. In an instant, he ripped it clean off the door, nails and all. He repeated this four more times, stripping the door clean. When he finished, Criswell moved to the door again, and turned the knob slowly. He pushed the door open and sent a wave of dust across the room. The furniture was covered with white sheets and the occasional spiders and dust bunnies. Criswell poked his head out and turned back.

"Who wants to go in the creepy house first?" Silence overcame the group. Ed took a big gulp and took Kathy's hand. He startled her a little, but she then nodded in approval. Ed and Kathy found their way through the group and up the steps. Ed took the first step inside the house, with Kathy close behind him. The rickety floorboard creaked with every step. They found their way in the middle of the living room, before turning towards the group, still frozen in silence, and motioned them to follow.

"Okay gang, let's split up! Me and-"

"Split up? Are you insane?" Everyone piped up. Ed shouted over their voices.

"Everyone! Please! Splitting up could cover more ground! Shut up!" Silence overcame them once more.

"Pee Wee, you will come with Kathy and me to the basement. Paul, Conrad? You two will take this floor. Check the kitchen, the dining room, everywhere here. Criswell and Bunny go upstairs and check everywhere. Tor and Vampira, check the attic. Any questions?" Everyone slowly stepped inside and spread out, moving to their destinations.

"So, what exactly are we looking for again?" Vampira and Tor moved past Criswell and Bunny over to the attic stairs. Tor let Vampira move past him.

"Well, they say something about little house model. Don't know what we find in there." The door opened with a load creak, scaring away the roaches by Tor's feet. In the middle of the room were two fold-in tables placed next to each other to hold up a scale model of the entire neighborhood, just as Pee Wee said. Vampira ran her fingers over the collapsed roof of the Price Manor, poking the inside of the gaping hole of the roof.

"He said that Betel guy was in here, right?"

Tor found the small graveyard on the other side of the model. He pointed down to a tombstone with a large flashing sign that read "Here Lies Betelgeuse".

"I think he's here." Vampira stepped over to his side and pulled a small strip of paper out of her blouse.

"Ok, that Pee Wee guy said to say his name three times right?" Vampira took a deep breath and read the name on the strip. "Beetlejuice-"

"I don't think that's how you pronounce it." Tor tapped a stubby finger on the strip. Vampira immediately swatted it away.

"Look, we'll try it this way, and then we'll do it your way, Ok!" Vampira felt tense about the situation they were in now. "Beetlejuice." Silence.

"Beetlejuice…!"

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Meanwhile, Ed, Kathy, and Pee Wee were now searching in the dark, damp basement, crushing either a roach or a spider with every step. The flashlights they had been using were slowly dying out, making them stick closer together. Ed froze up in the middle of the room, feeling a cold wind brush past him.

"Erm, Pee Wee? Does the AC work in this house?"

"Hasn't worked for years. Why?"

Ed gulped loudly, "Oh, nothing. Just curious." He felt the chill run past him once again, this time, blowing past Kathy's hair as well.

"Is there a window open or something? I feel a draft." Kathy accidentally dropped her flashlight while fixing her hair. Her flashlight landed on the wooden floorboards and then flickered off. She only grasped Ed's arm tighter than before.

"Pee Wee?" A small voice surprised the group, causing them to yelp all at once.

"What was that!" Kathy tugged furiously on Ed's shirt. Ed was enjoying this greatly…

"Pee Wee!" Pee Wee darted his flashlight to his left, and flashed it at the eyes of a young man and his wife. Kathy screeched in alarm. The husband walked up to Pee Wee, frozen in his stance, and pushed his flashlight down until the light only shone down at the withering wooden floor.

"Long time, no see." He peered at Kathy and Ed through his glasses. His wife stepped up behind him in her floral pattern dress.

"I'm sorry we couldn't give you your sugar back. Who are your friends?"

All they seemed to do was just stare blankly at the couple. They looked so pleasant and quaint. Just when you think you've moved in with the perfect neighbors, they turn out to be un-dead.

The wife spoke slowly, "I'm Barbara. This is my husband, Adam." The group stood still dumbfounded. Ed was getting impatient.

"I'm Edward Wood. We're looking for-" Ed's brave introduction was cut off by a loud scream coming from upstairs. Pee Wee darted his head around and ran toward the stairs.

"The attic!"

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Whew! I'm very sorry these entries take so long and I'm also sorry for the slow start. Much more to come, trust me. Yr. reviews are greatly appreciated. Adios, Bubba!

DinoGirl15