Where My Heart Lies-- chapter 2
Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin (Nobuhiro Watsuki), "Going Under" (Evanescence), or the phrase "absolute certainty is the greatest illusion of all" (fortune cookie).
"Misao, you have to be more careful."
"I had that under control! You--"
"You need to take better care of yourself."
"Why do you care? Do you care? We both know what my feelings are, but what about you, Aoshi? I need to know just where your heart lies!" I stormed off in search of some more solitary solitude. My room seemed like a suitable choice for such.
It was getting to be too much to bear. I couldn't continue to go on living with my one-sided love. I needed to know what he felt. I had to come to a crossroads. I had to either get somewhere in this relationship or move on. To make any decision, I needed to know where I stood.
Now I will tell you what I've done for you
Fifty-thousand tears I've cried
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you
And you still won't hear me
I'm going under)
He had been gone for so long, and in that time my loyalty had never wavered. His return only strengthened my faith, but I wasn't sure I could stay so strong. Would I be swamped entirely by accumulating emotion? Would there be any relief for me? My unreturned feelings threatened to overtake me.
Don't want your hand this time I'll save myself
Maybe I'll wake up for once
Not tormented daily defeated by you
Just when I thought I'd reached the bottom
I'm dying again
If turned down, would I be released from my feelings? Would I be able to live my life without this unrequited passion?
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under
Blurring and Stirring the truth and the lies
So I don't know what's real and what's not
Always confusing the thoughts in my head
So I can't trust myself anymore
I'm dying again
How many times had I dreamt of Aoshi returning my love? How many times had I lost myself to those dreams only to have my fantasy torn down around me, letting me crash into my lonesome reality? How many more times could I crash before I burned? Before the paint peeled from the very walls of my existence, leaving me in cold nothingness?
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
So go on and scream
Scream at me I'm so far away
I won't be broken again
I've got to breathe I can't keep going under
If he returned my affections, well, I really didn't know what I would do from there. It could fail. It could work. There was a realm of possibilities I could only begin to imagine. If. Nothing was for sure. After all, "absolute certainty is the greatest illusion of all." In all honesty, the future was riding on him.
I'm dying again
I'm going under
Drowning in you
I'm falling forever
I've got to break through
I'm going under (going under)
Going under (drowning in you)
I'm going under
A/N: Chapter one fell short of my expectations lengthwise. Bummer. I'll live on. :-
Charmed Wolf: Thank you very much. It's great to hear from people.
Review! glances around It makes me happy? ;)
