Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano, Geneon Entertainment, Gonzo Animation and Dark horse Comics.
Miseries of Sins committed:
Being Undead
Years of war, death and fighting.
Years of hatred, despair and cruelty.
That was what Seras Victoria the lonely and confused vampire had been experiencing. She did not like it.
It was not her. It was not humane. It was not how she wanted to live.
Why, oh why do I have to do this? What sin did I commit to deserve this? I may be a monster physically, but I am human inside! I remained human at heart despite my transformation, and a human I always will be!
War after war I've been through… Torture after torture I was forced to carry out and witness… Why do I have to? What karma is it that I have accumulated over the little nineteen years of my life to be damned to this? What is it that whoever's overlooking us has against me?
Why did Alucard have to turn me into an undead like him? He knew very well that I was not sure at the time; that I did not know what would befall me once I agreed to walk the path of darkness.
Why couldn't he have been more kind, take pity on me and just give me a fast death by blowing my head off? Being shot dead is never more painful than having to live for all eternity, in the dark, where it is all evils' domain.
I wish to regain my lost humanity. I want to become human again, even if it means death. I lost everything to evil; at first lured by all the pleasurable sins that vampirism could give me. But I did not know that it all came at a price.
The price of which is humanity. The highest price a person could pay was with his humanity, his caring nature, his thoughtfulness for others. Selling one's humanity is like selling one's soul; he loses all thoughts for others, he loses whatever feelings he may have had, leaving him as an empty shell that is used to kill like a machine.
Nothing more.
It is pathetic, to see men sell themselves for something they would later on regret having, for they know nothing else but to fight, fight and fight.
I am just as pathetic. Although I did not know fully what fate had in store for me the moment I accepted Alucard's offer, I did know, however, that I could continue living on. That itself, is a sin.
Now I want nothing else but to die again, if possible. I no longer care what Alucard thought or will think of me. His opinion never really mattered, now that I know. All he wanted was to turn me into a cruel and unfeeling machine to massacre thousands without even shedding a tear for those poor innocents and coerced.
This cruel, indifferent world of the undead; I want it all to end, even if deemed impossible, I want it to end at least for me. It may seem selfish now, another sin, maybe. But soon it will not be. Alucard the Devil will realise that whatever faith he had in me to become a true monster of the dead was in vain.
I will never be one of those indifferent creatures he creates and tames.
Only one thing can save me from my damnation and at least give me back the dignity I was supposed to have.
Death.
Born a human, live a vampire's life, die a vampire and a human. That is my story.
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