Hermione's Fairytale
There
once was a maiden
With
skin so fair
Lips
red as the rose
And
bushy brown hair
Sat
alone in a cottage
Waiting
for her prince to come
She
waited so long
That
her butt had gone numb
"How
long will this take?" Cried the maiden
Whose
name is Hermione
"How
long will it be?
For
my Prince Charming to come find me!"
She
cried every night
Tears
streamed from her eye
And
with her tears
Came
the queen in disguise
She
offered her an apple
And
her words of bliss
But
how could she eat
At
a time like this
So
the queen finally left
And
the godmother did appear
Did
her bibbety, bobbety boo crap
And
a pumpkin coach came and a coachman to steer
"How
am I supposed to go to a ball?"
Cried
the maiden in spite
"My
Prince Charming isn't here
And
the ball was last night!"
So
the Fairy Godmother
Feeling
like a baboon
Retired
shortly after
On
a beach in Cancun
"This
is taking forever!"
Cried
Hermione in rage
So
she opened her fairy tale book
And
turned the next page
The
next day a young lad
Who
came with animals to wash her dishes,
Held
out a lamp
And
offered her three wishes
The
genie appeared
She
wished for brush
She
wished for her Prince Charming
To
come there in a rush
But
the genie replied
Who
sat on a stool,
"I
can't make anyone fall in love,
It's
against the rules."
So
the boy and his genie
Left
in a hurry
To
avoid the bushy-haired maiden's
Outburst
of fury
Hermione
starred at the window
She
might as well bake
So
Hermione cooked up
A
chocolate and pumpkin cake
Just
then a light shone
In
the middle of the clearing
Came
a boy on his steed
Who
just came from the Order of the Phoenix hearing
He
rode his white horse
His
red hair quite outstanding
When
he got in the cottage
Hermione
started demanding
"Now
this is just foul,
This
is just rude
All
I had to do to get you to come
Was
bake you some food?"
"Why
yes," Replied the boy
Who
was now stuffing his face
Stuffing
so much
Why,
this was no race!
He
wiped his mouth
Threw
his napkin on the floor
Picked
up Hermione
And
started out the door
Still
confused, still upset
She
hopped on his steed
"But
wait!" Cried Hermione
Aren't
you going to kiss me?
The
boy turned bright red
He
hadn't kissed in a while
He
puckered up
And
Hermione smiled
But
oh dear! What happened?
What
was wrong with that snog?
For
the Prince had metamorphosed
Into
a bright green frog
"This
is just perfect!'
Cried
sweet Hermione
"My
husband to be,
Has
a bright green behiney!"
"Oh
well,"
She
thought, "This will be easy"
Dumbledoor
can poof him back
Into
Ron Weasley
So
off they rode
Witches
and Wizards roared with laughter
But
eventually Hermione and Ron
Lived
happily ever after.
