Title: The Better Man
Author:
Annerb
Rating:
Everyone
Classifications: Missing Scene (A Matter of Time), Drabble (300), POV
Season: 2
Disclaimer:
The characters mentioned in this story are the property of Showtime and Gekko Film Corp. The Stargate, SG-1, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and solely meant for entertainment. All other characters, the story idea and the story itself are the sole property of the author.

Author's Note: This is in response to the GateShip Wednesday Shorts "A Matter of Time" Challenge


The Better Man

There wasn't a day that I didn't regret it. Not a day passed that my hand didn't itch to grab the phone and call. To beg for forgiveness. But I knew that it would be more for my sake than his, so my hand remained still.

Unsurprisingly, when I finally come face to face with him all these years later, my first impression is that he looks older. He seems harder, his face closed, his eyes shadowed. I can tell that many more unspeakable things have happened to him. Ones not caused by me.

It doesn't make me feel any better.

I don't know what makes me do it, but I find myself trying to justify my actions to him. He easily sees through me and his anger strikes back relentlessly. The man I once called friend maybe never made it off that bloody field. All that's left is a broken shell.

My fault.

But then the blond Captain and the huge, silent man are back and he changes. I see the warmth and intensity in his eyes that I had thought long dead. I see the way his two teammates look to him with complete trust.

He would never leave them behind.

I watch them together, not pretending to comprehend what is coming out of the Captain's mouth. Instead, I realize that maybe he's not so broken after all. I inanely think, 'I made him a better man than me.'

That's why I do it, when the time comes. He would kill himself trying to save me, no matter the past. But I know he is the better man. He's a hero and I can't help but think that part of that is because of me.

But then I let go and there is no more time to think.