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Chapter 3

I love flying. Always have. In Hogwarts I had a Nimbus 1350, the fastest one at the time. It had taken me absolutely ages to save up for it, but I'd been ecstatic when I had first ridden it. On this particular afternoon, I had been flying alone for about an hour, weaving in and out of the empty Quidditch pitch, winding my way around the goal posts, and making dives and then pulling out at the last second.

You could say that I was happier then than I'd ever been in my life. Everything was perfect. I was doing well at work (even my Potions had improved somewhat), Lily had finally given me a chance after years and years of fruitless effort on my part, it was a glorious morning and whatsisname Voldemort had nothing whatsoever to do with me.

Winding my way around the goalpost one final time, I looked up to catch one final glimpse of the castle and the surrounding grounds. As I did so, I saw a flash of red hair winding its way among some trees towards the castle. Lily. A smile came unbidden to me. Perfect.

I rushed off towards her.

"Lily!" I shouted to her. She turned, and my heart beat faster to see a smile on her face. Although the sun was shining in a cloudless sky, it was a chilly and cold morning. Thankfully there was no wind. Lily was wrapped up well; she had on heavy grey robes, gloves and a red scarf wrapped around her neck. The frostiness had brought redness to her cheeks, and in the clear morning her animated eyes sparkled, making her look… simply exquisite. I tried not to stare.

Now, normally I would have done something to 'foolishly and needlessly emphasise my skill at flying' (as McGonagall once put it when I had done two u-turns in midair to land perfectly on my feet in front of a crowd of admiring fans), but this time, I settled for a perfectly normal landing. Holding my broom with one hand (I also had gloves on; flying higher up gets very cold), I walked towards her. To my delight, she had been waiting for me.

"Hello!" I exclaimed while I was still a few feet away from her, "wonderful morning, isn't it?" She nodded.

"Hi. Yeah, it's a good day." We walked on in companionable silence. I fell into thought, staring at the beauty of a British landscape around me.

"You like flying?" Startled, I was brought out of my reverie by Lily's unexpected question. I looked up to find her eyes observing me.

"Absolutely! It's wonderful! The best!" My enthusiasm brought another smile to her lips. I continued: "It's amazing. You have to try it! The feel of the wind in your air, and the… the sense of freedom. I can't explain it. You can leave all your worldly troubles behind for a short time and just… just fly!" She must have caught on that I was having trouble explaining the wonders of riding a broom.

"Worldly troubles? Come on, we're still in school. What worldly troubles?"

Unwillingly, my face darkened. "You'd be surprised." I said quietly. She looked away and then asked:

"How long have you been flying?"

I thought for a moment. "Years. When I was four… no… five… when I was five I rode my first broom, the Cleansweep three. It was about thirty years old, but I loved it! Ever since then, I've been riding. Don't you like it?" Lily blushed in embarrassment. And then shook her head.

"I'm… scared of heights." She looked away, her cheeks crimson. I stopped.

"Really?" The thought was so unexpected. Lily Evans scared of heights? She could face immense pain, live through the Slytherins' insults, teach people older than her a good few things about Charms that they'd never heard of… and yet… she was scared of heights?

"But… you're missing out on so much," she had stopped too, and was fidgeting with her gloves, still not looking at me. "Do you want me to teach you?" I said this before thinking, and this time it was my turn to be embarrassed.

"Thanks… but no." I looked up at her.

"Come on Lily, it's an amazing thing! You'll thank me." She smiled again and then shook her head. I let it go, and we carried on walking.

"Oh, I've just remembered, I had to tell you something," I rubbed my temples. "I met Professor Dumbledore in the seventh floor corridor yesterday, near the statue of Lachlan the Lanky and he said that everything was much better, and things had improved a lot. He congratulated us."

Would you believe that Lily and I were in a pair? What I mean is, I thought that there was no way that she would ever have arranged it so that she and I would be together at night when we were patrolling the corridors. But we were. Apparently, she'd said (embarrassed, all the while looking away), that this was the best arrangement that she could think off, and that otherwise I'd have to be with a fifth year Slytherin. I didn't complain. In fact… I was delighted.

Lily looked relived. "Well, at least that's off our chests."

I was puzzled. "What?"

She looked up at me. "I looked at some records. Would you believe it that this year has the most detentions and essays and lines given out so far since eighteen thirty five? Apparently, there was this Headmaster… what was his name… Nigellus… or something like that…"

"Phineas Nigellus," I finished for her.

"How do you know?"

I smiled involuntarily. "He's Padfoot's… Sirius' great-great-grandfather. Sirius often tells me that he's the least popular Headmaster that Hogwarts has ever had. Worse even than Phyllida Jigger in the fifteen hundred's… and she banned Quidditch for a year!" Lily laughed and I smiled, delighted at having made her do so. We were nearly at the castle now.

"Padfoot. Why do you call each other those names?" Lily asked, "Padfoot, Prongs, Moony and… I don't know Peter's."

"Wormtail."

"Wormtail?" Lily wrinkled her nose, "who called him that?"

"He named himself."

"He's a strange person." She shook her head in wonder, and then sank into silence.

"Nah. Peter's alright, once you get to know him. He's very loyal and trustworthy." Lily nodded absent-mindedly, still in thought. Suddenly: "Remus is a werewolf isn't he?"

For a moment I did not register what she had said. When I did, however, there was nothing I could say. How on earth did she know? I suppose my silence must have given her the answer that she needed. She smiled. "He is."

I miserably denied it. "No…" it was a feeble attempt, I know. But what else could I have said? She smiled all the more wickedly, her green eyes coming alive mischievously. I caught her hands and looked into her eyes. "Please don't tell anyone, Lily. They'll all start treating him like he's not a human." My tone was earnest and pleading.

"I won't. I've sort of known for a bit," she said seriously. I still held her hand, and as we stood there looking at each other I got such a strong sense of déjà vu that I was momentarily dumbfounded. I'd been here before hadn't I? I'd held her hands and I'd looked at her like this, in this very place? Hadn't I? Truth of the matter was that I had no idea when.

"Lily…" I whispered, totally fascinated and held by her intense and clear gaze. It was a moment before I realised what was happening. One chance, that's all I had. I couldn't ruin that one chance. So I let her hands slip. "Sorry." She said nothing. We continued walking. In a while she spoke again.

"You haven't answered my question?"

I looked over to her, confused. "What question?"

"The nicknames?"

"Oh right…" I tried to think of a witty response. "Well… um… ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies…" She smiled and didn't press the question anymore.

"So what about you? Do you have a nickname?"

Lily thought a while. "No. I don't."

"Oh come on. You must have."

"No I don't," she protested, smiling. "You can't exactly shorten 'Lily' can you?" I hadn't thought about this.

"Yeah… I sort of see your point." We were inside the castle. "We have Charms next don't we?"

"Yeah. In ten minutes. I'm going up to the common room to get my bag."

I grinned. The entrance to the Gryffindor common room was on the seventh floor. "And I have to leave my broom." She smiled again. I was falling in love with Lily's smile. It was so genuine. When she smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkled up, and it seemed that the smiled entered her eyes as well. She was one of those people who smiled with their eyes, and I was livid with myself that I had missed out on six years… six years of her smiles…

"You don't have any brothers or sisters do you Lily?"

A shadow passed across her face. I was puzzled. "I do."

Now a girl would have known that this was the time to stop asking. But I, a male, in my infinite wisdom, was absolutely delighted that she was finally telling me a bit about herself, and so carried on inquiring: "I haven't seen her around."

"She's not a witch." Lily's voice was quiet.

"Oh, right. So you have a sister. Any others?"

She shook her head: a negative. "I don't have any. I'm an only child; though Sirius lived with me for a bit." She looked up, surprised.

"He did?"

"Didn't I tell you?" I blurted this out without realising. Of course I hadn't told her! When would I have told her? When she was shouting at me? Bloody hell! I mentally kicked myself. She was still waiting expectantly for me to continue. "Sirius' parents – his whole family actually – are one of the most ancient, pure and powerful families in the wizarding world. The Blacks. Nearly every pure-blood wizard has some relation to them. You know Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa Black? They're his cousins. And even the Weasleys – you wouldn't think they'd have anything to do with such a racist family like the Blacks – are related to them. Arthur Weasley is Sirius's second cousin once removed or something like that." I realised that I was drifting away from the matter.

"What I'm trying to say is that the Blacks are really crazy about the whole 'pure-blood' dogma. They believe that witches and wizards are of a different race than Muggles; the wizarding race. You must have heard recently about the campaign to classify Muggles as 'beasts.' Well, that was orchestrated by the Blacks. They think that they're the best sorts of wizards and witches because they're absolutely pure – no intermingling with Muggles for them. They're family motto is 'Toujours pur' which means 'Always Pure,'" disgust involuntarily entered my voice. "But Sirius doesn't agree with them at all. So last year, in our sixth year, when he was sixteen, things got along so far, that he ran away from home – although he'd never thought of it that way; that place was like hell to him – and came to live with my parents and me. He's rich enough on his own though, and a few months ago he bought his own house, using some money one of his uncles gave him. Of course, his parents couldn't tolerate that – I mean he was sorted into Gryffindor, unlike Bellatrix and Narcissa; they're in Slytherin – and so they disowned him and blasted his name of the family tree."

Lily looked shocked. "Wow…" her voice was a whisper.

I nodded wisely. "Yeah…"

We continued walking in silence, climbing up a set of stairs. "I'll tell you something though," I said in a confidential tone, leaning closer to her. "And this is something only I know. Even Padfoo– Sirius doesn't realise it. You can tell what frame of mind he's in. When he's unhappy and depressed he lets his hair grow long. But when he's happy and things are going well, then he keeps it short." Lily looked at me unbelievingly. "No really, he does."

"So Sirius doesn't agree with his family about purity in blood?" Lily asked me enquiringly.

"Not at all." I said this quietly. "He wouldn't have been in Gryffindor otherwise. Neither do I. I'm supposedly a 'pureblood.' My parents are both non-Muggles. But it doesn't make a difference to me at all. Does it really matter if you've got Muggle parents? I mean, some Muggle-born wizards and witches have achieved some really amazing things. Take Quidditch for example. The first world cup was held in 1473, and in the final game all seven hundred known fouls happened. A Muggle-born wizard was responsible for six hundred and fifty two of those, a record that's still unbeaten! I mean he came off looking like one giant bruise, but that doesn't happen very often." Lily laughed again and I grinned.

"So what about you Lily?"

"What about me?" She looked at me curiously.

"Aren't you going to tell me a bit about yourself?"

She blushed, and I smiled. We were on the third floor now. "What's there to tell?"

I sighed. "Oh come on. I know next to nothing about you. Tell me a bit about yourself."

"Like what?" she was looking decidedly uneasy.

"Your parents are both Muggles, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"How did they take the fact that you were a witch?

"They… took it really well. They were really proud of me. But…" she stopped abruptly. There had been a tremor in her voice.

"I'm sorry. If you don't want to talk about it…" I was guilty and furious with myself. One chance. That's all I had. Lily looked at me. And kept looking. I was a bit uneasy. It was like she'd never seen me before. Finally she stopped.

"No… it's alright. My sister… Petunia… she… well she didn't like me being a witch. We don't talk any more. But I was so glad and happy when I got my letter. It was like I'd found my true identity. I always felt like I didn't really belong in the Muggle world. When I found out that I was a witch… that I would be learning magic…" her voice trailed off, but I knew from her sparkling green eyes what her words couldn't tell me. "I finally felt like I belonged somewhere…"

"I know," I whispered without realising what I'd said. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately.

"Pardon?" She was looking surprised. I blinked, and then shook my head.

"Nothing. Just muttering to myself." I smiled. "So, you're very good at charms?"

"Not as good as you are at Transfiguration."

I blushed. "I'm alright." She raised her eyebrow up, sceptically.

"Oh really?"

I laughed. "I dunno. I've always found Transfiguration really interesting. When you're interested in something, it's much easier to improve at." She nodded. "I mean, I'm extremely bad at Potions. I find it dull and boring. It's so… so bloody monotonous!" It was just my luck that Professor Flitwick was passing by at that exact moment.

"I thought I told you to watch your language Potter. This is a school."

"Sorry sir."

"I should hope you are." When he had passed, I leaned over once again towards Lily.

"That's the second time that's happened." There was a peal of laughter from her. My mind instantly likened it to bells ringing on a calm summer day. Can you blame me? I was in a romantic mood.

As we climbed a set of stairs and passed the mirror onto the fourth floor, I couldn't help saying: "There's a passage out of Hogwarts behind that mirror."

Lily, despite herself, was interested. "Oh really?" I nodded. "Where does it lead?"

"I… dunno, really. Never tried it. It's caved in anyway."

Lily looked sideways at me. "How do you know?"

I groaned inwardly at my lack of common sense. How could I explain to her about the Marauder's Map?

"Come on. I've told you about myself. Share some of your secrets." I could tell she was in high spirits. This was the longest I'd talked to her. So I told her about the Map. She was impressed.

"You made it all by yourself?"

"Well with Sirius and Remus and Peter. You didn't think that all we did was get up to trouble did you?" Her silence said it all. I laughed. "Well we didn't. We probably know more about this castle than any other person. Except maybe Filch and Dumbledore."

Lily was silent. I wondered why. "Can I see it sometimes?"

I thought only for one instant. "Absolutely." She smiled at me, warmth in her green eyes. I felt a shiver pass through my body. We were passing the library and I looked in. As I did so, I saw Remus sitting at a desk, engrossed in a huge book. I felt affection for my friend as he sat there, alone, totally unaware of his surroundings.

"Good old Remus," I murmured to myself, absent-mindedly. Lily followed my gaze as we walked past the library.

"Don't you want to say hello?"

I shook my head. "When Remus is busy with one of his books, it's best not to interrupt him."

Lily looked at me strangely. "You really care for each other don't you? You four?"

I looked back at her. "Completely. They're like my family. I'd do anything for them. And they'd do anything for me. What else are friends for?" I was totally earnest. I meant what I was saying.

She smiled, and there was a flicker in her expression as she looked at me. "To have that sort of friendship… I've never… never…" her expression was dazed as her voice trailed off. I could tell she was absent-minded.

"We'll have to see about changing that won't we Evans?" Lily grinned. I breathed a sigh of relief. Unconsciously and instinctively I'd called her by her surname. I was glad she hadn't been offended.

We passed the statues of Boris the Bewildered and Gregory the Smarmy on the fifth floor. As we came near the Prefect's bathroom, I asked Lily if she'd ever been in there.

"Quite often. When I used to be a prefect in the last two years, I used it quite regularly. Why? Have you?"

"Yes. Once. Remus told me the password."

Lily frowned and then sighed. "Well, did you like it?"

"It was wonderful. I loved it. But I didn't have the time to have hour long baths back in those days, what with homework and revision for the OWLs–"

"You revised for the OWLs?" her tone was incredulous. I was hurt.

"Of course."

She quickly sobered. "Sorry… but it's just that I never saw you."

"Oh. Well I seldom did it in the common room. Sometimes I'd do it outside, in the library and in a few other places…" her eyebrow was raised again.

"Such as?" This time I couldn't help myself. It seemed the more I talked with her, the deeper I was being dragged under her spell. Her eyes, you see. I couldn't resist those eyes. When they looked so curiously at me, what could I… James Potter… do? So I told her off the passages leading to Hogsmede.

"So that's where you used to go in the evenings when I couldn't find you."

I was curious. "You used to look for me?"

Lily blushed and looked away. "No… of course not. It's just that when you and Sirius weren't in the common room like all the other Gryffindors, I used to wonder…" her tone was unsteady and I could see her cheeks were crimson again. How I longed to run my fingers along those soft cheeks…

After walking a further few minutes, we were finally on the seventh floor. I couldn't help wondering: "This is a huge castle."

Lily nodded. "When I first came here, I'd never seen anything like it. And those moving staircases and ticklish doors… it was hard and confusing at first."

I suddenly had an idea. Hesitatingly, I turned to Lily and asked: "Lily… if you want… I could show you the castle… I mean the whole thing. From top to bottom. Every nook. Every cranny." Her eyes sparkled at the prospect.

"Yeah!" I don't think she realised what she was saying, because she said it really quickly, almost immediately. But then: "I don't… don't know. We shouldn't… if we get caught…"

I grabbed her hand. "Oh come on Lily. It'll be fun. Seriously. And I can show you a few shortcuts as well. It's taken us fifteen minutes to get from the grounds to here. I could tell you a way that would halve the time."

She looked at me doubtfully for a moment. I could almost see the cogs turning in her head. Finally: "Oh alright."

I let her hand go, and my heart beat faster. This was good! This was definitely good! She was beginning to trust and… like (I hoped) me. As we walked on, however, she asked me: "If you knew a way that would lessen the time it took for us to get here, why didn't you use that way?"

Because I wanted to walk and talk with you as long as possible, was the answer that came to my mind. But it wouldn't do to say that. So I simply said: "It must have slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

Lily looked sideways at me, her eyes twinkling mischievously, like she knew what I'd been thinking. But she didn't say anything because we'd reached the Gryffindor common room.