Title: Emotionless
Author: Kate M. better known on the net as many things including (kait, katem_23, kate, k8, kiss_me_k8 [FF screen name], and GWTDC)
Chapter: 2.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, probably never will.

Rating: oy, you know what? I'm going R on this one baby. Lots of swearing, and lots of sex talk, maybe even some actual sex, although i doubt i'll be going into that one.

Summary: AU fic. At 36 years of age, Jess Mariano has become the last person he ever wanted to be -- his father. In this chapter - the repercussions from the letter, on both sides

Author's Notes: Oy, okay, so what can i say? I'm inspired right now. Here goes the next chapter. Serious thanks to kat because you kick serious ass, and you keep me writing! My fan club of one, and the fastest damn PM'er in the entire world. =)

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The paper fell from his hands and Jess crumpled backwards towards the wall, sliding down onto the hardwood floor. His name was Atticus; His son had a name.

When he had left the room the small child had not been named yet, maybe it was easier not knowing before, although Jess thought about him - and her - several times a day, and a name would certainly make it easier.

It wasn't until he looked at the letter, trembling in his hand that he realized he was shaking. His son had contacted him, and although it was more than he ever could ask for, he had also forgiven him...at least a little bit.

No one had ever come close to understanding why after holding his son is his arms Jess had left the hospital and taken off. He had run to his car and tried to put as many miles between him and Rory...and their son.

Throughout his entire life, Jess had been told he would never make anything of himself; that he didn't deserve love. And when he looked down into the eyes of his son, he had never loved anything more. Until then, Rory was the only person he had ever dared to love, and he had hurt her so much.

He couldn't do the same to his son. As much as he didn't want to, he had to leave. He sent money, twice a month, to Lorelai. Other than the thousand dollars a month, he had no contact with anyone from Stars Hollow. He couldn't bear to look back on it.

Yet every spare moment he had that's where his thoughts traveled; to the only woman he had ever loved; to his son; to the town where he found a place.

He had never been as scared as he was when he found out that Rory was eighteen and pregnant. He had done the last thing he ever wanted to - he hurt her.

And now, he needed to make up for that.

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Atticus climbed out of bed and pulled on his boxers. Kiera was still lying on the bed, wearing very little. He had mailed a letter to his father one week before, and in those past seven days he'd slept with three different girls. Kiera was one of the more delusional ones, she She seemed oblivious to the fact that he used her whenever he needed an outlet.

She was one of Stars Hollow's token good girls- one of the ones that Atticus had come to know all too well. It was the same every time, they thought they could change him, but there was too much pain inside for him to deviate from the life he'd already lived.

I'll see ya later. Was the most he could get out while tugging on his jeans and pulling a shirt over his head, before climbing out the window. It wasn't the ordinary small-town cliché, but he didn't mind living up to what was expected of him.

He smirked, getting laid usually didn't make him happy, but this time Kiera had given him a little bit of extra attention. It was almost like she knew' he sighed. He knew that she wasn't that insightful, never would be, she would just go walking around naîve for the rest of her life.
He missed New York, he missed Boston, and he missed Los Angeles. He missed every place that they had ever lived that wasn't Stars Hollow. Every time they moved Atticus was used to walking down some dark street and making a friend, or at least a contact. He always knew his way around. It was like he had some sort of killer instinct. His mother didn't know how he did it, especially since they always seemed to end up back in Stars Hollow.

It was funny, how obviously out of place he was. How unlike his mother he was. When he walked down the street, he could read people and tell what they thought of him. It was hate. He had never done anything to earn the petty people's respect, and in their eyes he was a burden that his mother had to deal with. But underneath the hard exterior there was a scarred soul, and it had nothing to do with the plebeians in this town.

His mother had to tried to keep the details he knew of his father to a minimum. She never talked about him, so it was hard for him to learn what he needed to know. Once when they had been at a wedding she had gotten drunk beyond herself, and he had pumped her for as many details as he could. That had been nearly two years ago, when they were living in New York but had come home to see Lane tie the knot with her high-school boyfriend.

That had hit Rory pretty hard. Sure, she got to travel, and she had a son and she was know and popular in the world of journalism, but she didn't have the one thing she needed, she didn't have the person she needed. He would probably be the last person who would want his father to come back, but he could tell that she missed him more then anything.

They had a connection. Deeper than her and Atticus; Deeper even than her and Lorelai. Luke once told him that she's been a different person since he left, that it's almost like a piece of her is missing. She always looks so focused, as if she knows exactly what she wants and she knows exactly what she needs to do. But her son is an extremely perceptive person, and he knows his mother very well, so he for him it's easy to see that she's really still the same lost little girl that Jess left.