The night drew closer as Ross and Rachel arrived back to the apartment with Emma in the pushchair, she was asleep. They had been together all day out shopping and they had even spent some time in one of Paris' largest parks, where Emma had taken a liking to the ducks in the pond. 'Thanks for such a lovely day...'. Ross said as they got back to the apartment, 'I'm enjoying it so much here...I dont think I want to go home' He joked. But he didnt want to admit that it wasnt a joke, he was being quite truthful, two days with Rachel and Emma had made him realise that he didnt want to go home, he liked it the way it was.

'I know for sure that Emma will remember this weekend, shes had so much fun seeing you Ross and I wish there was a way in us seeing more of eachother but its just so complicated..'. She said as she lifted Emma out of the pushchair to put her down for a nap. 'Help yourself to whatever you want, I'll just go and put her to bed...'. Rachel told him. 'Aslong as you dont go looking for alcohol..' She laughed.

Ross sat down on the sofa where the blanket was still positioned the way he had left it this morning. All day he had been trying to remember what he had done the night before, he believed Rachel with what she had told him but all he could vaguely remember was collapsing on the sofa and going straight to sleep, he didnt remember any kissing or any of the sort. 'Rach' He shouted from the sofa, 'Can I ask you something?'. She came back to the sitting room with the baby monitor in her hand and a dirty nappy bag in the other. 'Yeah sure...'. She said, dropping the bag in the bin and joining him on the sofa. 'Whats up?' She asked him.

'I just feel so...well, I feel terrible about last night...I dont want you thinking...-'.

'Ross, Just forget about last night...you were drunk, I wasnt...but it was just a kiss Ross, its not like we slept together...'.

He shook his head. 'We probably would have if you had of been drunk though, I mean...its something we've done a few times' He laughed.

'Yeah but we didnt so theres nothing to worry about Ross...If I'm honest with you, I was kind of..well...I was flattered when you kissed me even though you were visibly drunk...I just well...I liked it, and I was considering just giving in and just having a night together with no strings attached...'.

'You what?' Ross asked, looking slightly confused.

'I know that if I had of drank maybe one more glass, I would have woke up next to you this morning...because I did want to spend the night with you last night...but I didnt want to because I just wanted one more night with you...'.

He stood up with his hands on his head, 'I cant believe you sometimes you know Rach...'.

'What have I done? Cmon sit down...You have to get whatever it is off your chest...please' She begged, trying to pull him back over on the sofa. 'You have got the wrong idea if you think that I just want sex from you..because I dont but..-'.

'You just said that you were considering just sleeping with me for the sake of it...seems pretty clear to me Rach...maybe thats the way you've always saw it...we've had two one night things...was that just sex for you too? or was it just me who saw it as more than that...'.

She stood up now, her hands positioned on her hips. 'How dare you...Oh..I just cannot believe you have said that!' She spat.

'Well I'm sorry but what do you think I'm going to think when you go and say something like that? Come to think of it now...it does seem to be the case with you...like the time at your fathers house when you were begging me to sleep with you...just so you could get what you want, but I see sex as a little more than that Rach...'.

She dropped her arms down, and turned away from him. 'I cant even look at you right now Ross...what a way to ruin this weekend huh, and your going home tomorow and thats when you will really regret what you are saying to me now...'.

'You might be right there Rach, I'm not saying that you see sex as meaningless because I know thats not true...but it just feels that way and I dont want to think of it that way...its just that...Oh Rach..I have already told you how I feel about you so really...I cant say anymore'.

'No..go on Ross, what else have you got on your list to throw back at me?'.

'Nothing...because I never think badly of you, its just that sometimes you come across really...selfish'.

Her face dropped. 'You what? I'm selfish now?...Ok...hows that now huh?'.

'I will explain myself Rach because you are sometimes even when you arent aware of it...like...that last night we had together before you left for Paris, I really did think that you thought our night together was more than just a way in saying goodbye...because for me it was a realisation that yes...you are the person who I am supposed to be with...and I still love you with all my heart...I do...but I know you see things much more differently than I do Rach...'.

'I knew you were going to bring that up and just throw it back in my face Ross...if you think that that night didnt mean anything to me before Paris...or if you think any night with you didnt mean anything to me then I dont think I can ever ever be anything to you anymore...thats one thing I thought we would always have, the memories of being together...the nights we had, it doesnt sadden me now to think that we couldnt work it out because I know that we did appreciate the times we had...the kisses we shared...the latenight talks...everything'. She began to feel tearful, her throat began to sound shaky.

'Rach...Rach, you have got the wrong idea completely...I know that you felt the same in our relationship when we were happy...when times were happier but I'm just questioning you on the nights that have stood on their own...without any strings...did they mean anything more than sex to you?'.

'Oh..I cant even talk to you Ross...if you can even look me in the eye and ask me that then you mustnt know me at all...'.

'No...I do know a lot about you and what I do know is that you are always letting things pass by...why wont you just stop being so damn stubborn and tell me that you want to work things out huh?'.

'I did want to work things out till now but now that youve told me this...I just feel so...so...I feel like you are blaming me for things, and I'm sorry but I'm not being stubborn now...I'm being straight with you by saying that we wont work Ross...look at us, it doesnt matter if we loved eachother because we never let things go...'.

'So loving you isnt enough for you? I would give you everything Rach even though I feel that you have left me hanging an awful lot in the past years...'.

'Whats that now?'.

'Oh forget it...at the end of the day Rach, you know how I feel...and its just you who keeps denying things, just tell me straight...I want to know if you will ever be interested, actually wait...I want to know if you will give us a try now...because I'm not waiting anymore Rach...'.

'Why are you being like this? If you loved me you wouldnt be saying this...'. She started to walk away from him, picking up her jacket and keys.

'Where are you going?'. he asked her.

'Away from you Ross...and you can stay here with Emma while I go out and clear my mind...I need to think...think about a lot of things and I think you need to rethink what you've said to me...because if you mean it...its not worth it'.

'Ok...but answer me this..'.

'What'. She snapped.

'Do you love me?'.

She froze at the door and looked back at him. 'I...I...I have to go Ross...just leave me alone for a while ok?'.

He slumped back down on the chair. 'Always bailing out arent you Rach...'.

She chose to ignore that comment and walked out of the apartment as quickly as her feet would take her.

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She stood outside his door, contemplating the idea of whether to knock it or not. She could just turn back away straight away and go back home to deal with everything with Ross but she just couldnt calm herself down yet after his comments earlier on. She was regretting leaving so quickly, he would probably be upset now and alone, like she was but she wouldnt be in a moment if she just knocked at the damn door. So she did, gently, but loud enough for him to hear it.

A few moments passed by before she heard a few noises on the other side of the door, then he opened it. He looked surprised to see her, she felt almost terrible for knocking at such a late time. He looked like he had just woken up, his hair was sticking up at the front and his eyes were very wide. 'Rach?...'.

She laughed nervously. 'I...I hope you dont mind, but I needed to come and see somebody..'.

He rubbed his eyes and opened the door for her to come in, 'Sure...come in, you havent walked all this way have you?'. He asked, aware of the idea of a young attractive woman walking the streets at night. 'No...I jumped on the bus'. She lied. She walked past him and walked into the hallway, unsure of where to go next as she had never been in his apartment before, even though he had invited her over a number of times.

He led her into the sitting room, 'Sit down...I'll grab you a drink...'.

'Thanks...can you get me a gin and tonic on the rocks please?' She asked without a thought. He laughed, 'Sure Rach..'.

She sat down and looked at the surroundings around her, she hadnt expected his apartment to be this neat, he looked the type of guy who spent more time in the mirror rather than snooping around with a vaccum. She wasnt quite sure why she had came here tonight, it wouldnt change things with Ross and it wouldnt change the way she felt about what he had said, but maybe she would feel better talking to someone about it, and Joshua was the only person she knew well enough in Paris to go and talk to. 'Here you go...' Joshua said, handing her the glass. 'Now...whats up Rach? Arent you supposed to be with Ross?'. he asked her.

She sipped from her glass, then she sniffed. 'I...I..'. What came next was unexpected to her, she cried, she cried hard. 'Oh..I'm so sorry Joshua...'.

He sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, 'Rach...whats happened? You can talk to me...'. She sniffled again, 'I know...thats why I came Josh, because I had to talk to somebody about it...everythings such a mess...'. She cried harder.

'This is about Ross isnt it?'. Joshua guessed.

She nodded. 'Uh huh...'.

'So...tell me...whats gone on?'. He asked again.

Ross stared at the walls around him, considering just packing up now and leaving, but Emma was in the next room and he couldnt just get up and leave the woman he loved, she might have done that to him before but that was something he could never do. He hadnt a clue where Rachel had gone to, explaining to him that she needed air and time to think, she could have gone anywhere.

He got up from the chair. He couldnt understand where it all went wrong, they were adults and most people their age should be settled down and happy, but they never could just pull it together. Looking back now, he wished that he hadnt of said those things to her, it wasnt something she deserved to be told, especially by him. He didnt know whether calling her now would be a good idea, she probably wouldnt pick up. But the worry of where she was, was getting to him.

Her phone was in her bag on the table, she couldnt have gone far if she hadnt taken her bag, but still, she could have gone anywhere. He wandered into Emma's room to just have some company with somebody, even though she was asleep. He opened the door carefully and quietly not to wake her. She was stretched out in her cot with her tiny arms above her head, her tongue was sticking out of her mouth and there was a hint of a smile whilst she slept, she was so sweet and innocent and had no idea about anything that was going on around her. One thing both him and Rachel had agreed on was to shield Emma away from any heartache, she was too special to live day after day with the thought of her parents not being happy, 'Oh Emma...' He sighed as he knelt down beside the cot, stroking the top of her head gently with his thumb. When he looked at her, nothing else mattered around him. Even the heartache over him and Rachel melted away in his little girls eyes, it was one thing that kept him happy and that was the reminder that he had bought a beautiful little girl into this world. 'I love you so much Emma...' he whispered to her. She looked so much like Rachel, she wasnt even 2 years old yet but he could see the beginning of her character and personality shine through, he could already see her growing up infront of his eyes.

The idea of going home and having to leave his little girl made him feel disapointed, he didnt want to leave and he knew that Rachel didnt really want him to either, but he would be lucky if she even spoke to him when he got back after the things he had said to her. It was past midnight now, an hour had past already since she had stormed out of the door. He had no idea whether she would even come back tonight, and that was when the thought of her going to that guy Joshua's place, he had the idea that she might have just to give him another reason that she had other people besides himself.

'When you ask me about Mummy and I when your older Emma...I'll have a lot to tell you sweetheart, good and bad...and whether me and Mummy will be together when you do grow up...I dont know...'.

He stroked her head again, causing her to move a little but she was still fast asleep. 'but you know what sweetheart, I hope we are...'. He continued.

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