The Hope.
"If you lose hope, somehow you lose the vitality that keeps life moving, you lose that courage to be, that quality that helps you go on in spite of it all. And so today I still have a dream."
- The Trumpet of Conscience, Martin Luther King, Junior.
Kagome thought rather highly of Ah-Un's intelligence when the draconic beast whirled steadily through the dark cold winter night back to the cave without any instructions or pull of the leash. Jaken was only too happy to see them and it was reflected all over his face when he saw Kagome and Rin, waving his hands widely as if to welcome them home.
Kagome got off the draconic youkai which had lowered itself down without prompting and helped Rin down, in which at that moment, the straps of her paperbag tore and dropped to the ground with a loud thud. Kagome closed her eyes and sighed softly, this must be the fourth time I'm thanking Kami for the luck I have so far...
Rin helped to drag the heavy paperbag inside while Kagome thanked the draconic youkai awkwardly, to which one of the monstrous heads jerked up and rubbed its face against her dark blue sweater. To say that Kagome was stunned was an understatement. She started to believe that she had this indescribable affliation with animals and beasts, judging from the way Buyo, Inuyasha, Shippou, Kirara and now, Ah-Un took to her.
Another nudge of her snow-laced sweater snapped her out of her trance back to the present. She quickly regained her composure and gave her true sincere smile at the beast, deciding that it was really not important at all to determine which was Ah nor which was Un.
Kagome quickly got down to business and walked into the cave with her backpack. She found Rin and Jaken sitting beside Sesshoumaru, looking into his disfisgured face silently. The weight of unmistakeable sadness and despair hung so heavily in the air that Kagome stopped in her tracks. She had always thought that Sesshoumaru was a cold-blooded youkai, a monster that would not stop to kill if anyone got into his way or offended him.
That might still be true, demo... Kagome's deep brown eyes softened as she recalled the name that he had muttered back then, i"Rin..."/i She surmised that he could not be a cold-blooded murderer, because if he were, Rin would not have loved and adored him so much. She had even gone mute again because of the shock of his near-death. And she was sure that somewhere, he had a heart inside of him, just that he was not willing to open it to anyone. It was weird to her that Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha were more similiar than they would like to admit in this respect. Perhaps... he is also afraid of getting hurt and tied down...
Kagome resolved within herself that no matter what, she would do her best to get Sesshoumaru healed, for Rin's sake. She knew that she was being soft-hearted but she just could not bear to hear nor see anymore of Rin's silent, heart-wrenching cries. Kagome let out a soft cough, "ano... I think it is better that you all don't look when I treat him..."
Jaken gave a dubious glare but Rin merely nodded and dragged the kappa-youkai out silently. Kagome sighed softly at Rin's childlike innocence and amazing sensibility. "She is both a child and an adult... well I suppose being around with Sesshoumaru long enough will change you..."
Once she had made sure that both were out of her sight, Kagome sighed to herself again and massaged her temples. It was going to be one long night before she could get some proper sleep.
Kagome knelt down beside the injured taiyoukai and laid out all the stuff that she had brought along with her on the ground. She lit a big candle and stuck it to the ground with its melted wax. The soft yellow light illuminated the cave, casting a soft glow on his cheeks and the tip of his slender nose. Kagome thought that he had never looked more human than now, like an injured commander.
She pushed the thick furry pelt aside and carefully cut through his haori in the center with her trusty scissors without piercing his wounded skin. She then gently pulled the haori away from his arms and under his back with one forceful jerk. She tossed the spoiled clothing to her side, too weary to worry about the possibility of it catching fire.
She searched for a soft clean rag and poured some water from her big water bottle. She realized that the wounds did not look as bad and was silently amazed at his healing and regenerating abilities. "Well, he's a full blooded youkai," she mumbled to herself as she thought of how quickly Inuyasha had gotten healed on his own, like a puppy.
She dabbed the rag gently on his wounds to remove the caked brown blood. The wound on his abdomen was hideously large, even though it was fully sealed. Kagome once again silently admired Sesshoumaru's willpower and quick-thinking to use his own poison to seal the wound. She wondered whether he had shouted out in pain, but promptly dismissed that thought since she found him kneeling instead of lying down. Must be his pride... she thought to herself and hunched her shoulders.
After some heaving and pushing, Kagome finally managed to prop him up against the smooth walls of the cave. She then spread a generous amount of antiseptic cream over the wounds and spent a considerable amount of time to wrap the gauze around his waist. She did the same with his chest and realized that Sesshoumaru had perfect unblemished fair skin. "Its a pity that you might have scars you know..."
Kagome looked up into his face and flinched. It was such a gruesome mess that she really did not know what to do with it. She dabbed at the wounds carefully and using as little strength as possible, she tried to clean the area with cool water. She then applied some antiseptic cream for burns around the eyes and on the lids. It was followed up with gauze going around his head and Kagome then realized that, he had the most beautiful face when he was not awake and glaring at her.
He had perfect chiselled features, his markings were really rather nice and his nose was high and sharp. He had high cheekbones and his skin was almost perfect, much better than hers. His hair was long and silky, and there was no knots as Kagome ran her fingers through it wistfully. It was as if she could feel the tensile strength in each of his heavy silver strands, even though it was as fine as a thin platinum wire.
She parted his silver bangs and wiped the grime and dirt away from his forehead and the rest of his face. Kagome caught herself gazing at Sesshoumaru's face, wondering how handsome he would really look if he had not been disfigured. She mentally chided herself and found herself thinking back of Inuyasha. She had never gotten a chance to get so up close and personal to Inuyasha, like the way she was now with Sesshoumaru.
Using her hands to support herself, Kagome closed her eyes and leaned forward, pressing her soft nose against his long sharp one. She could hear his laboured breathing and the tip of his nose was cool. She rubbed her nose against his gently, revelling in its firmness and softness, and wondering at the same time whether Inuyasha's nose was like that too.
A dreamy smile appeared on her face and Kagome opened her eyes, hoping that she would see that familiar pair of warm amber eyes. When the sight of gauze greeted her, she mentally slapped herself back into reality and looked at his hakama. She buried her face into her hands and groaned inwardly at the next job. She really did not want to do this.
She crawled over to the paperbag and pulled out Souta's pair of jeans and a button-up shirt. She did not have much problem with the shirt but when it came to the bottoms, she groaned out loud.
"Can I not do this?"
Rin immediately scampered over at her groan and poked her head out. Kagome instantly laughed out nervously and waved her hands, "aa, nandemonai, nandemonai!" Rin took the hint and disappeared quietly behind the odd bend of stone wall.
After a long struggle and internal debate, Kagome decided to abort the idea of changing his hakama. "Souta's jeans probably would not fit him..." She fell back on her butt, stretched her long legs and let out a long breath of relief. She had finally finished, and would not have to change his clothing for a good long period if nothing bad happened. She pulled out Souta's large black wintercoat and draped it over his body, hoping that this would provide him with some warmth in this winter.
"Oyasumi, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome let out a big yawn and fell asleep beside him, dreaming of warm beds, hot ocha and delicious home-made bentos.
The first thing that Kagome noticed when she woke up was how cold it was. She stretched her legs, yawned out loud and gave her arms a good rub. She took a quick glance at Sesshoumaru and noticed that he was still unconscious. With a rumbling hungry stomach, she got up reluctantly and noticed that the pale morning light was filtering into the cave.
When Kagome poked her head out of that odd bend of wall, she noticed that Rin and Jaken, along with Ah-Un were not there. Feeling a little disappointed and lonely, Kagome dragged her feet back and checked on her patient. The bandages were a little stained with blood, which was a good sign that it was not bleeding excessively. She felt for his forehead and realized that it was burning. Infection, Kagome narrowed her eyes and quickly removed the gauze around his head.
The sight that greeted her almost caused her to regurgitate whatever that was left in her stomach out. A nauseous stench wafted out from his face and his eyes were both lined with thick yellow pus. The condition of the skin did not improve at all and it remained red and raw, although it was positively less bloody.
"Doshiyoo..." Kagome groaned to herself as she shook her head. She had never treated such serious burns before and she suspected that it was not any normal burns since only his eyes the surrounding skin were affected. She knelt beside Sesshoumaru and wrapped a piece of tissue around her forefinger, slowly and gently wiping the yellow pus away. Each time the tissue got caught or stuck to a piece of raw skin, Kagome would flinch and apologize profusely even though she knew that he could not hear nor respond to her. She could only pray that whatever she was doing was not making the situation worse than it could ever be.
After she had finally cleared the pus away, Kagome applied the antiseptic cream over and wrapped the gauze lightly over his head. She then tried to feed him water from her waterbottle. But no matter how hard she tried, the water would not go down his throat and just dribbled out from his mouth.
"He needs to take antibiotics too..." Kagome chewed on her lower lip and frowned hard, thinking about the different possibilities that he could ingest the medicine. Kagome had to cross out the impossible and ridiculous methods that ranged from taking aim at the back of his throat, to mild suffocation by pinching his beautiful nose. In the end, she had to rely on the old trusty method that she had pushed to the last, hoping that she would have figured out other ways. It was simply dreadful, and she really did not want to do it.
She let out a big sigh and wallowed in self-pity as she crushed the antibiotics into powder with a metal spoon onto a piece of tissue and poured it into his mouth. She then took one big mouthful of water and placed her mouth tightly over his, tilting his head back a little and slowly releasing the water.
Kagome thanked her lucky stars that Sesshoumaru somehow started to use his esophaegal muscles and prayed that he had drunk the water down with the bitter medicine. She really was quite embarrassed since that was her first real, mouth-to-mouth kiss. And she had to sacrifice it for such an unromantic reason, with someone that she did not like at all.
"Oh well, he will die from infection if I don't do that..." Kagome tried to comfort herself and justify for the loss of her first kiss by thinking of the story of Nurse Nightingale. She dipped her forefinger into the water and moistened his lips, inwardly revelling in the feel of his lips. Kagome smiled secretly to herself even though there were no one else around. It was really not that awful at all... Sesshoumaru had soft thin lips that gave her a very manly feeling, even though they were a bit cold. Just so like him.
Kagome sat on the ground, drew her legs in and rested her chin on her arms. She looked at the unconscious taiyoukai and still could not believe what had happened within one day. The thought of his attacker unnerved her and she prayed hard that whoever it was, would not locate their presence. She would not have the guts nor the brains to fight it out with the sadistic murderer.
She crawled up to his front and laid her hand over his right chest, just to make sure that his heart was still beating. "You are really special ne? Fancy having your heart in the right chest," Kagome talked as if he listened. She was really worried for once, for his safety and health. She was quite sure that the wounds in his left chest and abdomen would heal but the burns in his eyes were another matter. If she did not seek out proper medical help for him, Sesshoumaru could possibly go blind.
As more awful thoughts came to her mind, Kagome got to her feet and made up her mind to look for Jinenji. Just at that moment, she heard the grunting noises of Ah-Un and when she turned around, Rin was already scrambling to her and holding out some wild fruits with a small nervous smile on her face.
"Arigatou!" Kagome was grateful that Rin had brought fruits for her, she was quite sure that she would not be able to eat any fish nor meat for sometime after that incident with Sesshoumaru. iSomehow he always make me feel so uncomfortable.../i Kagome mused to herself as she chomped hungrily away at the cool sweet unidentifiable berries.
"Rin, I will need to borrow Ah-Un to look for someone. Can you come with me?" Kagome was still not confident in steering the beast and would not take any chances since she was not sure whether she could locate Jinenji's farm. Of course, Rin nodded happily with a smile, to which Kagome noticed that it was not so strained anymore.
They were soon on their way to Jinenji's farm and the sun was high over their heads when they located the small thatched hut with small squarish fields that were bare and covered with a thin layer of snow. Rin tugged at her sleeve and pointed to the hut excitedly.
"Rin, have you been here before?" Kagome asked. Rin closed her crusty eyes and nodded with a wide happy smile. The moment Ah-Un landed on the ground, Rin hopped off without a word and dashed straight into the hut. When Kagome had caught up with her, she realized that Rin was kneeling on the tatami-covered floor in front of Jinenji himself, smiling and gesturing excitedly as if they were old friends.
"Kagome-san!" Jinenji turned his big goldfish-like eyes to her in pleasant surprise. Kagome closed her gaping mouth and bowed her head, "Jinenji-san!"
The towering hanyou immediately crawled towards her and gave her a toothy smile, "I am so glad to see you again!" Kagome smiled warmly back at him and realized that Jinenji had not changed at all, other than he was not as shy as before.
"Did she come with you?" Jinenji pointed to Rin as he motioned for Kagome to sit down. "Hai! Do you know each other?" Kagome was puzzled.
Jinenji nodded his head slowly, "aa, she once came here and asked me for a thousand-year herb. That time, I was afraid to show her my face and hid beneath my blanket. Demo she refused to go away and even sneaked under it to talk to me. She was not afraid of me at all. Kagome-san, her eyes and her smiles are so like yours!"
A faint tinge of red rose to her cheeks, "iie... Rin is not afraid of youkai at all"
Jinenji swivelled his eyes back to Rin, "sou ka... o namae wa Rin desu ka?" and moved his hand out to pat her head.
"Kagome-san, Rin used to pester me quite a lot before I told her the whereabouts of the herb. Demo ima..." Jinenji's voice trailed off.
Kagome looked at Rin for a long while before finally replying him, "Rin... is in shock I think. We have to come to look for you, because her caretaker is injured, very badly."
Jinenji remained quiet and looked down at her with his big watery eyes, "is it Inuyasha?"
Kagome shook her head and managed a weak smile, "iie, it is Inuyasha's aniue. His eyes are badly injured and the skin is burnt, red and raw. It doesn't look like a normal burn, he was attacked and left to die."
His big eyes widened at her words, "Kagome-san! A few days ago, my hut was raided and several poisonous herbs were missing. I believed those herbs might have been used on him!"
Kagome looked up as goose bumps broke all over her skin, someone had indeed gone out of his way to kill Sesshoumaru. "Do you know who they are?"
Jinenji shook his head sadly, "iya. They were already gone when I was back. The herbs that were stolen are not very harmful on their own, but when combined and used in the right proportions, it can be a deadly poison to any person, ningen or youkai."
Kagome felt as if her heart had stopped for that second, all her efforts and hope that Sesshoumaru would recover were dashed. Rin instantly tugged hard at Jinenji's sleeve, tears brimming her big black eyes.
The hanyou smiled and held her hand gently, "do not worry little Rin. I know of the cure."
Relief washed over Kagome as she let out her long held breath. Luck was still on their side, their hope was not lost.
A/N: Another hard chapter. pulls more hair out To all my reviewers, pls keep them coming in! Its amazing what reviews can do to an author, and now I can understand why pop idols can during their concerts. Sorry, I just never had an idol during my puberty stage! To those people who reviewed me, Im sorry but I have no idea how to reply to you guys! Perhaps you can email me?
ano - erm/excuse me
haori - outer coat, worn over kimono
hakama - pleated pants
nandemonai - nothing in particular
oyasumi - goodnight (casual)
ocha - green tea
bento - boxed lunch
doshiyoo - oh no/what should I do?
sou ka - I see/so that's it
o namae wa Rin desu ka - your name is Rin huh?
demo - but
ima - now
aniue - elder brother
iie - no
iya - no (masculine)
ningen - human
youkai - demon
