Disclaimer: This is not written by anyone who is going to get any money. Very unfortunate. That is because I don't own anything that is halfway interesting or the characters of Harry Potter. If I did own Harry Potter, I would be a millionaire.
Summary: Snape makes a mistake. Instead of killing DUmbledore, he manages to screw up the entire fight scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Snape's POV. One-shot.
Parody/Humor
Severus Snape and the Lost Sense of Humor
Draco and Dumbledore are talking about some nonsensical thing. I think it was about, not having to kill Dumbledore or something equally stupid. I was wondering if Dumbledore would explode into little Dumbledore bits due to his over inflated goody-two-shoes-ness. I was hoping that Malfoy would just fall through the floor and implode on himself.
They're both just a tad bit mad, aren't they? Maybe I should just kill them both in one foul swoop just to get some peace and quiet around here. Maybe Malfoy would just stab Dumbledore in the heart with his wand to just get rid of this verbal torture. Dumbledore would be too afraid to kill anyone and probably would just lecture Malfoy until his ears fell off. "Making deals with Lord Voldemort is a very bad thing. YOu shouldn't do it ever again. I hope that you will benefit from this to make better choices in the future to not make aliances with a very bad man. How about a lemon drop? Would you like one?"
Once Malfoy started spouting off how he was going to be the servant of Lord Moldy-shorts, I decided I was just going to kill DUmbledore myself. I opened the door and said, "Avada Kedevra!"
Unfortunately, as usual, I hit the wrong person with the green light. Draco MAlfoy dropped dead on the floor. Potter who was standing next to DUmbledore began laughing and fell over on the floor. I was tempted to kill him too, but I could see the temptation to laugh at Malfoy's death.
DUmbledore got up from his pleading state on the floor and seemed as though he wanted to dance.
"THank you for saving me, Severus. HIs constant annoying talking was cutting into my stregnth. I wanted to kill him too. Don't worry, me and Harry and all of the Death Eaters won't say anything! YOu won't go to Azkaban!" Dumbledore picked up Malfoy's dead body and threw it out the window into the lake.
Later, that evening, we found out that the Giant Squid did like eating people.
THe End
Author's Note: I was bored. Do I need more explanation? Yet I really do love SNape. IF he was real, I would want him on my bed. Just Kidding. But I do love him.
