Title: Emotionless
Author: kait, kate or k8.
Chapter: 9.
Disclaimer: I own all the characters you don't recognize because they aren't on the show. Other than that i own the computer that i'm typing on, and the cd that's playing on it...but i don't own that band...or the song...or anything else for that matter.
Rating: R - if you aren't completely sure why, you'll figure it out eventually.
Author's Notes: I have a semi-colon fetish. Thanks go out to Kat, Chris, Ashley, Roxy, Green Eve, Vfoxy, Literati Lover, Ahmee, Kathryn, Teni, Melia, Avid, hlf, markie, Emaline, and last but certainly not least Stew Pid. If I missed someone I am truly sorry, you all mean the world to me.
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Dodger? Are you home? Rory walked in looking somewhat frantic. The events that had been established in the last hour were drastic, and she wanted to make sure that she didn't throw too much at her son at once. After determining that he had gone to school Rory turned back around and opened the door to their apartment. Jess? You can come in.
He ventured into the apartment slowly and looked around thoughtfully, as if trying to get some idea of how his family' was doing without him.
Rory looked at him heedfully, Strange, isn't it?
Jess looked up,
Being back here. she stated it quietly, knowing it held great meaning to both parties.
He looked uncomfortable for a moment and suddenly realized that she was trying to make him less so, by talking about something that wasn't directly to do with their situation. It is strange. Seeing people I used to know...things I haven't seen in almost two decades. It just...seems crazy that it's so similar to what it used to be. I mean, I expected it all to be different but it's almost the same.
How do you mean?
I mean, everyone is still here - surviving.
You mean surviving without you?
He looked momentarily taken aback and plainly answered with a , then adding but it isn't what you think. I didn't grow up here, I just came and stopped in and learned what this world was like...I wasn't a part of it for long.
She scoffed, You know as well as I do that you can take yourself out of Stars Hollow, but for as long as you live, and no matter how short a time you stay here for, you can't take Stars Hollow out of you.
He smiled and cast his gaze downwards, How do you do it?
She smiled before answering, Do what?
Don't play games, you haven't been. How do you act so civilized to me all of the sudden? Pretend things aren't the way they are?
She was solemn, Because if I break down again, I don't know if i'll ever be able to stop.
Do you hate-
She cut him off Don't finish your sentence. Now isn't the time for us to talk about this.
He looked down, she was right. The two sat in silence for a few more moments before Rory spoke up
How do you know his name?
Jess looked up and furrowed his brow. I'm not sure I should tell you.
Come on Jess, what is it? Have you been keeping tabs on us? It's not fair to do this one way. As she neared her tone heightened, she was getting angry again.
It's not like that at all.
Then how do you...?
Don't worry about it, we can all talk about it later.
Why wont you tell me now?
Because it's irrelevant. he wasn't looking at her.
She could tell he was lying. she said it in the way that a mother demands information from a young boy after he's disappeared without reason.
He looked down, in hopes that she wouldn't figure it out.
Oh my god. Realisation swept across her face. She may not have known her son well, but she did know him.
Rory? You okay?
He...when did he contact you?
Jess was surprised she had figured it out so easily, and although he was hesistant to give up information, he conceived that it would be innefective to withhold the story. About two weeks ago.
She stood up and began pacing. She hated pacing. And what? He told you to come here?
No, it wasn't like that at all.
Then what was it like?
Jess whispered, he wanted me to know that he was okay.
In what way? she was intrigued. She remembered Jess rarely acted this way...he was acting really intense...almost scared.
He said he didn't need me. And that I shouldn't worry about him...he's alive and he made it without me.
Rory leaned against the counter, looking dumbstruck.
What out of character for him?
No...not really. I didn't know that he had that kind of courage.
There was a moment's silence before Jess spoke up, He got that from your side of the family. He paused and continued, My side...my father's side...we always ran. When we couldn't deal we would just find the nearest scapegoat and head for it. If it meant losing everything we had; our dignity he looked intensely into her eyes, the things we loved. He lowered his gaze again, I'm just saying, if he has courage it's because of you, and Lorelai. He's had some good role models.
You're forgetting Luke. she said it quietly, knowing it would affect him. He stilled again, before listening to what she had already begun to say. But you're wrong. Just because your father was a coward didn't make you one. You chose that path all on your own. her words were cold, and they stung.
I should get going. he glanced around the room, looking for some way out. This was getting much too uncomfortable for his taste.
Probably. Anyhow, thanks for coming over. When do you want to do this thing? I mean, I'm not exactly sure that it's the best idea for Dodger's well being, but-
A confused expression crossed his face and he interrupted,
Oh, yea...it started when he was younger. He's uh...he's a lot like you. I thought the nickname would help with a connection...of course that's basically why I named him Atticus in the first place. Aside from the fact that I've been in love with that name since I was nine. a small smile played upon her lips. Besides, he hasn't let anyone call him Atticus since he was thirteen.
And why would that be? he was puzzled, his own son completely bewildered him, and they hadn't even met yet.
She practically snorted. He said that Atticus was the name of a goody-goody and he was anything but. When people found out that he had a nickname they just started using that. I think Luke is the only person who even stumbles anymore.
He still had a puzzled look on his face, Good to know. Why do you think he signed his letter Atticus' though?
She looked thoughtful for a moment, Maybe he wanted to seem unfamiliar; detached; professional. He's strange. I have no clue how to get him to open up to me, yet he doesn't seem to resent me. He's just...he's different. Maybe one day I'll understand him.
Maybe. Maybe that day is closer than you think.
She looked up at him,
He turned away and started walking toward the door before turning back, That thing...where do you want to meet and such? When do you want to do this?
Oh god...uh, we could do it at Luke's...have him close so we could have a meeting on neutral ...well, as close as we can get to neutral territory in this town.
Somehow I doubt Luke will be too open to that idea. He was fairly vehement with me yesterday.
I can talk to him, convince him not to be there. I'm guessing if mom's there you wont mind. Somehow it seems you two have come to some sort of a mutual understanding?
Yeah...kind of. I don't get it yet, but we should all talk.
she drifted off into her thoughts.
So when you get it arranged just leave me a message at the inn and we'll hook up.
Right. Will do. Good bye Jess.
Good bye Rory.
As the door closed itself behind him Rory remembered the last time they had said good bye that way. And the aftermath that followed. To specify, the insanity that was the next eighteen years of her life.
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Atticus wasn't ready to go home. Knowing Rory she would probably want to about the situation, and he had never really been a big fan of communication. Thinking this through, the most obvious of places to go would be to see Luke, since he never asked more of you than you wanted to share.
However as he drove through Stars Hollow seeing a familiar face he pulled over to the curb and jumped out of the Jeep Liberty.
A tall, thirteen year-old girl turned a smirked at her nephew, who just happened to be five years her senior. Hey Dodger.
Where are you going at this time of day? Aren't you still supposed to be in school?
What? You think you're the only one allowed to skip? she smirked again, her cerulean eyes dazzling. God, Atticus really resented blue eyes.
Yeah, well, I have a decent enough reason. You, on the other hand better get your ass either back to school or to the diner. Your dad would beat you ten ways from Sunday if he knew you were skipping school.
Kennedy bit back her urge to make another sarcastic quip, and instead just gave Atticus a withering stare. Yeah, yeah, I'm going. Don't tell your mom.
Like I would. he said with a laugh. Although he conversing fairly well, his mind was still elsewhere.
She began sauntering away, but turned after a few feet, hey, when are you coming over to chill? Like you promised?
Uhh...soon. I've just got a few other things to deal with. By this weekend, I swear. Besides, I haven't even seen you long enough to make fun of the fact that your hair is bleach blond. he said, a hint of a smile.
Yeah, well. That guy you used to bring around...that really cool one...he inspired me. she gave him what would be considered a seductive smile if they weren't related and she crept off as Atticus fell into another daze.
A few seconds later, after his aunt had cleared the viscinity he looked around to get a hold of his bearings. He was standing in front of Doose's market. Normally he despised the store, but no matter how bad the look he was given by Taylor his visits were always entertaining.
Entering the store he made his way to the back. Rory would be grateful if he brought home some ice cream, and possibly a few other staples. He was nearly positive that she wouldn't have had the time or the mental capacity to go shopping today.
After fifteen minutes of shopping for the bare neccesities, Atticus put a basket of food beside the register. The stock boy gave him a rough look as he shoved the food into bags and Atticus came to the conclusion that he had most likely screwed around with the poor sap's girlfriend. The glaring continued for the next two and a half minutes while the guy slowly and acrimoniously shoved the contents of the basket, into a brown paper bag.
Finally having nothing left to shove, the neanderthal of a bag boy handed the groceries over to Atticus. Neither boy said a word and Atticus began walking towards the door. Maybe he just had a problem with mysterious strangers. Not that Atticus was much of a stranger in this town.
When he reached for the door handle he found that it was already being pushed open by someone on the other side. As the door opened it forced Atticus to take a step back, and as he impatiently waited for the person to get out of his way, he looked straight ahead sensing that they were at eye level.
Each one of them stared back into the other's eyes, unsure of exactly what they were seeing.
One's mind echoed earlier thoughts and he now held no doubts about recognizing his own offspring. The other was fluctuant as to what his reaction was supposed to entail. This, he had never expected.
The greeting was simple. The emotions fore and aft it, were not.
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a/n 2: Ok, so i hand-entered every little space in each indent because otherwise it just doesn't look as pretty. i think after all that hard work, i should at least get a review...don't you agree? ;)
