Lost Hope
Summary: After book 6, major spoilers. Harry reflects. One-Shot
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anyone else in the Harry Potter world.
The Story
He never went back to Privet Drive, never felt the emptiness of his solitary room, never felt the pain in his heart. Harry Potter had lost all feeling, all emotion that was given to all living things.
Too many deaths made him unaware of the living. Professor Dumbledore, Cedric, and Sirius, all of them dead because of someone's greed and insanity. The worst thing for Harry was that he watched them die, and he saw their deaths replayed in his nightmares.
Dumbledore would be standing there, just outside the forbidden forest pleading with Professor Snape. "Please Severus. Please." Watching it over and over Harry saw that there was no satisfaction on Snape's face when he delivered the killing curse, there was almost uncertainty. And Dumbledore, his eyes looked relieved to be meeting his end after so many years. Even his pleading sounded like that of longing. "Please kill me Severus", that is what Harry heard.
Cedric, his spirit would come to him right after Voldemort delivered the killing curse and scream at him. A boy so young; not ready to die, and so much to live for didn't deserve what happened to him, at the hands of the Devil.
Sirius was always the worst. Not only would Harry wake up screaming but he would find that tears covered his face and mixed with his sweat.
His godfather's death hit him hard, but it wasn't until he accepted his death. His dreams tortured him and almost physically hurt him. To Harry, his dreams were reality. Sirius would stand in front of him, asking him why he didn't curse Bellatrix, why he didn't save him. Harry had no response and Sirius would swear at him, cursing him, and telling him he was ashamed and disappointed in him and he was upset that he had to be named his godfather. Harry would sit up and hold his knees close to him sobbing uncontrollably. His godfather hated him and nothing he could do would change it.
Sitting alone now in his safe house built for him by the Order Harry cried and felt like he was nothing. The despair he felt was eating at his soul and he just wanted it to end. It was no way to live, and if he were dead he would be happy and he could see Sirius. But would Sirius want to see him?
Sitting on his bed Harry meant to rest his head on the backboard but found a rather comfortable cushion. Looking at it he became frightened. It was Sirius.
"How?"
Sirius cut his godson off and Harry saw the tears in his eyes.
"It doesn't matter." Sirius said and wrapped his arms around the frail, young boy and kissed his forehead. "I love you Harry. Don't you forget it."
Harry Potter, savior of the wizarding world cried into the sleeve of his dead godfather's shirt and dreamt of happier times.
The End
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