Give Me a Hand
Chapter Seven: Get thee behind me, Reno

Now, if it weren't for the fact that the damn fool kid looked like he wanted to break me like a twig, I would have patted his back and congratulated him. Not everyone gets such a chance... a chance to never have to worry about a fucking fool word coming out of their mouth. Though, I could think of less painful methods.

"You know, you're not the only ones who've been fucking shot at or attacked in any way," I began, that calm sort of voice I used to use with mechanics who'd been in Wutai too long, right before they snapped, "If you shoot blindly at whoever seems like the logical foe, you're going to end up missing the one who's really fucking responsible."

His eyebrow twitched at this, and I tried to imagine all the different retorts that he had in his head. Damn, if there was ever a time I wanted to laugh... but even I wasn't a fucking fool enough for that. He did have a response for me, though.

And damn, whatever maneuver he was demonstrating... it was very involved. Like that one time, in Midgar...

"Re, that's just..." Reeve said before I had a chance to, smile twitching at the corner of his mouth, "...you're disturbing sometimes." A weird wheezing sound came from the redhead's throat... I could only assume he was chuckling. But still holding the gun. Smart kid. Hopefully the tension that had been in the room would ebb away and we could prod some information out of fucking Reno the Muted Wonder.

He stopped the strange wheezing and turned to me again, apparently only distracted for a moment. Fucking great. At least he didn't look like he would disembowel me now... more like a deep-set hatred. Hatred was good; people kept their gods damned enemies alive long enough to get information from them. So he wouldn't shoot me... so what the fuck was he going to do?

He threw his arms around wildly, indicated... well the fucking hell if I knew. He looked like a trained monkey. ReMuWo, as I abbreviated in my mind, was being more obtuse than Vin on a good day... or Reeve, well, fucking ever. And my tea was boiling.

"Slow... slow down Re," Emmerfuck said, further making me angry with this fucking "Turk" organization... secret codes and all. But I didn't need to feel out of the loop for long, as ReMuWo was grabbing both Reeve and I from our seats. Someone was in a fucking hurry.

That's when it hit me. There was probably more of those Turk vermin, and I was going to be stuck in with their kind... gods damned if I weren't on a mission...

"Hey! Let us fucking arm ourselves first!" I shouted before the kid could drag me further, "What happens if they pop you off? And it's just Emmerfuck and I?" Reno narrowed his eyes, considering my request. He then scanned my first floor, and found my special closet. He gestured over to Reeve, who picked out a Death Penalty and my newest lance, a beauty I liked to call the LSS... or Large Sharp Stick.

But the prick wouldn't hand me anything. Fucker.

Soon we were outside, and damn if I had a hard time keeping up with him. Figured that sneaky bastards like the Turks would be so damn fast, turning tail and running like the scared bitches they were. This kid must have been the Queen Bitch or something in that realm. I didn't realize how much distance we had covered when we suddenly stopped.

I was about to comment on the smell of the chocobo pen when I was rudely interrupted by yet another unexpected problem. "Alive? Fair enough."