Disclaimer: I do not own any of the following Star Wars… stuff. Names, weapons, or whatever I might care to throw in here. People honestly read these?
Prologue: An Idea
"It's not fair," a young Jedi explained to his friend. "They don't trust me."
"No," spoke Palpatine. "They just think you're a whiny little brat."
Anakin stared at the Chancellor a moment, feeling his lower lip begin to pout when he quickly pulled it back in. He cleared his throat and took on what he thought to be a more adult-sounding voice.
"We need a way for them to see that I'm not as childish and immature as they think," the boy said referring to the Jedi Council. His friend nodded and they both paused in their walk around the temple for a moment to allow for some thought. The Chancellor's eyes gleamed and Anakin knew he had an idea.
Chapter One: Brute Force Introduced
Mace Windu gaped with disgusted horror at the Jedi bulletin board. The Senate was not actually serious about this?
All of the other Jedi were in the council room sipping their coffee and reading their Galactic Globes when the second most powerful Jedi came bolting into the room waving a sheet of paper that appeared to have a lot of exclamation points and colorful lettering. Yoda got to his feet and inquired what the matter was.
"They—are—making," he spoke in between gulps of breath, "A Jedi reality show!"
The room's occupants fell silent with their eyes wide. Those who could believe it had two thoughts primarily occupying their mind: one, why on earth would the Senate do such a thing? And two, maybe I can get on it somehow… For those who thought the idea all too unbelievable, they asked to see the flyer Windu held in his clenched fist.
BRUTE FORCESurvival of the Most Popular!
When Five Jedi are locked in a house together for TWO MONTHS,
TENSION will rise, voices will be RAISED, and one by one the Jedi will be voted OUT of the house until only TWO are left!
CAMERAS in every room!
Your chance to SHINE!
Show the GALAXY your GOOD side! New friends, new opportunities, new REALITY SHOW!
The Force, is IT in you?
(Auditions will be held this Saturday at the Jedi Temple)
It took Obi-Wan a moment to register that what he was seeing was real. In all his years of being he had never seen something so ridiculous as this. Why, it was nothing more than a galactic popularity contest; it even said so! Or said something close enough. He passed the sheet on to the next Jedi and heard two Jedi behind him muttering about auditioning. Humph; the day he, General Obi-Wan Kenobi tried out for a reality show would be the day… that the Sith would return and wipe out all the Jedi and he would appear in six cult-classic movies! And there was a fat chance of that.
"Master Yoda," he laughed with effort. "Of course in your infinite wisdom you find this all extremely foolish?"
"Foolish say you?" The one with pointed ears said with a cocked head. "My big break, say I!"
Kenobi's eyes bulged as he looked around the room and found that in his sanity, he was utterly alone.
THE KENOBI/SKYWALKER RESIDENCE:
"Really Master?" Anakin asked with as much interest as possible. "Why that's…"
"Ridiculous!" Obi-Wan flapped his arms in the air.
"Ridiculous…" the apprentice agreed softly. The truth was, he had already been promised the opening credit for the show. Palpatine said he wouldn't dream of having it any other way. Now, he had said to his young friend, it was only a matter of gathering the other four Jedi, which shouldn't be a problem after those nifty posters he had hired the Senate to put up everywhere.
"So Master," the learner said conversationally. "Will you be trying out?"
"Me?" He responded as if his pupil had accused him of being the Sith Lord. "Are you completely mad? Of course not!"
"But Palpa—I mean, I hear that they the erm—casting directors are looking for Jedi like you to come and audition."
"Well tell the casting directors I'm sorry but there is no way in a million years I will ever, mind you ever be trying out for," he spat out the name as contemptuously as he could, "Brute Force… or whatever it's called."
